What's the proper way to express this?

[RomanticGuy7777]

I am finding out something about myself, that I feel I should be up front about upon meeting someone, to be fair to her, but I am not sure how to go about it.

 

I am finding that, if my date is wearing blue jeans, I am not able to get into any kind of a romantic mood. I have no desire to kiss, to cuddle, or even to hold hands, and I feel absolutely nothing if my date initiates anything. This does not happen with other colors of jeans, or blue in other pant styles, or even blue denim skirts; I can feel romantic with any of those.

 

Just to clarify, she does not have to be wearing certain articles of clothing for me to feel romantic. Granted, I may feel it a bit more if she is wearing an outfit that looks especially good on her, but that's not unlike anyone else, but except for blue jeans, my date's specific outfit has little effect on whether I am turned on or not.

 

Any suggestions on how to express that I just shut off romantically if my date wears blue jeans?

[lovephule]

What if they're a superdark wash of blue, like almost black but not quite there... same effect?

[d0nnivain]

Try to focus on the person not the outfit.

 

For early dates try to pick venues where blue jeans would be out of place, although that is very difficult in our increasingly casual world.

 

While out mention how much you like trousers or dresses. Say that you think blue jeans are too casual & unsexy but do NOT mention that you expect your date to refrain from wearing them.

[coolheadal]

I am finding out something about myself, that I feel I should be up front about upon meeting someone, to be fair to her, but I am not sure how to go about it.

 

I am finding that, if my date is wearing blue jeans, I am not able to get into any kind of a romantic mood. I have no desire to kiss, to cuddle, or even to hold hands, and I feel absolutely nothing if my date initiates anything. This does not happen with other colors of jeans, or blue in other pant styles, or even blue denim skirts; I can feel romantic with any of those.

 

Just to clarify, she does not have to be wearing certain articles of clothing for me to feel romantic. Granted, I may feel it a bit more if she is wearing an outfit that looks especially good on her, but that's not unlike anyone else, but except for blue jeans, my date's specific outfit has little effect on whether I am turned on or not.

 

Any suggestions on how to express that I just shut off romantically if my date wears blue jeans?

 

Oh you like this I see, yeah like the saying goes "the clothes you were make you who you are" So blue jeans is not a good with you. Fine how about tight white jeans? I like that if they were it. Just gives off the clean look. Blue jeans just makes them look like they just want to go out and have fun. Classy chick maybe looking nice and wearing a dress for you. Listen everyone has their own way of living you are not into blue jeans.

[kendahke]

I feel I should be up front about upon meeting someone,

 

This is first meeting someone and not yet in a relationship, so you're going to be hard pressed to find a woman who is going to allow you to dictate to her what she should be wearing on an first date with you, so you need to find a way to stop focusing on what she's wearing... or use this aversion to get to know the woman first instead of turning into a squid with her.

[alphamale]

Any suggestions on how to express that I just shut off romantically if my date wears blue jeans?

 

yes just say "blue jeans turn me off"

[Cookiesandough]

I feel the exact same way about super skinny jeans OP it's NBD, just tell her

[RecentChange]

So let's say she wears a skirt to the first date.... But in her day to day life prefers blue jeans.

 

Are blue jeans okay after the first meeting, or must your future girlfriend never wear blue jeans?

[GunslingerRoland]

Everyone has their own personal likes and dislikes. But to have such a strong hatred of probably the most popular fashion item in the western world is strange. Is there something deeper there, like a bad incident involving jeans in your past?

[basil67]

*Looks down at blue jeans she's wearing now. Thinks of the blue jeans in her cupboard. Decides she can't be bothered with a guy who doesn't like her if she wears the clothes she loves*

 

Next.

[No_Go]

Can't you just tell that you're into *** style (I have no idea what you like).

 

I personally wear jeans of any kind once in a blue moon, not that I have anything against them, but it is not my style at all. i usually wear dresses or if I wear pants - semi-formal to formal style.

 

I can't stand people showing up at work at yoga pants, sneakers or other items that belong to the gym but unfortunately, I can't express my opinion without getting someone butt hurt. But dating is one on one situation, so i is much easier. Just share styles you like, not ones you don't like.

 

I am finding out something about myself, that I feel I should be up front about upon meeting someone, to be fair to her, but I am not sure how to go about it.

 

I am finding that, if my date is wearing blue jeans, I am not able to get into any kind of a romantic mood. I have no desire to kiss, to cuddle, or even to hold hands, and I feel absolutely nothing if my date initiates anything. This does not happen with other colors of jeans, or blue in other pant styles, or even blue denim skirts; I can feel romantic with any of those.

 

Just to clarify, she does not have to be wearing certain articles of clothing for me to feel romantic. Granted, I may feel it a bit more if she is wearing an outfit that looks especially good on her, but that's not unlike anyone else, but except for blue jeans, my date's specific outfit has little effect on whether I am turned on or not.

 

Any suggestions on how to express that I just shut off romantically if my date wears blue jeans?

[Chilli]

You can always just send her to me , l love jeans , my favorite . :laugh:

[Cookiesandough]

Can't you just tell that you're into *** style (I have no idea what you like).

 

I personally wear jeans of any kind once in a blue moon, not that I have anything against them, but it is not my style at all. i usually wear dresses or if I wear pants - semi-formal to formal style.

 

I can't stand people showing up at work at yoga pants, sneakers or other items that belong to the gym but unfortunately, I can't express my opinion without getting someone butt hurt. But dating is one on one situation, so i is much easier. Just share styles you like, not ones you don't like.

 

Guys who wear sweatpants in public If a guy is in sweatpants banded at the ankles or those sweatbands around their wrists I am not able to get into any kind of a romantic mood. I have no desire to kiss, to cuddle, or even to hold hands, and I feel absolutely nothing if my date initiates anything.

[Highndry]

Guys who wear sweatpants in public If a guy is in sweatpants banded at the ankles or those sweatbands around their wrists I am not able to get into any kind of a romantic mood. I have no desire to kiss, to cuddle, or even to hold hands, and I feel absolutely nothing if my date initiates anything.

 

Not even if they're pulled all the way up right under his man boobs?

[kendahke]

I can't stand people showing up at work at yoga pants, sneakers or other items that belong to the gym but unfortunately, I can't express my opinion without getting someone butt hurt..

 

That's a company dress code issue. Perhaps it needs to be changed?

 

My job doesn't allow blue jeans or the types of clothes you describe.

[RomanticGuy7777]

Try to focus on the person not the outfit

 

I do that. I won't date someone who I know is wrong for me just because she dresses nice. It doe snot affect how I feel about the person, it only turns me off for romantic things, holding hands, kissing, etc. If she's wearing blue jeans I just don't feel anything like that, it's not some rule that I made up.

 

While out mention how much you like trousers or dresses.

 

I always compliment when a date wears something nice, and make clear how nice I think that skirt or whatever looks on her.

 

I have to express an observation here, we were talking about blue jeans but you automatically mentioned dress clothes, making no mention of the countless casual outfits in between. Is that perhaps an indication that most women think of only the most casual and the most dressy, and the middle doesn't come to mind much?

 

Example: I cannot get romantic if she is wearing blue jeans with the dressiest top and the cutest pumps, but getting romantic is not a problem if she is wearing black jeans, or tan jeans, or any color other thank blue, even with tennis shoes and a t-shirt. She does not have to wear a dress or slacks. Bottom line, I can get romantic with very casual, I do nto heed her to dress up.

[lana-banana]

but getting romantic is not a problem if she is wearing black jeans, or tan jeans, or any color other thank blue, even with tennis shoes and a t-shirt.

 

At first I thought this was about disliking casual clothing, but the above indicates you have a borderline allergic aversion to blue jeans and ONLY blue jeans. This is even more fascinating than it is unusual. There is something deep inside your psyche that is responding this way---what is it? Can you remember anything that happened or something you heard that might have created the impression that blue jeans can never be romantic?

 

I agree many women will be put off by any suggestion that you're trying to tell her what to wear. Your best bet is to make a comment about how you prefer formal clothing more generally. Even if that isn't exactly true, you'll be less likely to encounter someone who wears blue jeans.

Edited November 6, 2017 by lana-banana

[RomanticGuy7777]

a bad incident involving jeans in your past?

 

Can you remember anything that happened or something you heard that might have created the impression that blue jeans can never be romantic?

 

I cannot think of a singular "bad incident". I don't know if there ever was one. I actually used to not mind them at one point. One look I used to like back in the day was blue jeans with a "nice" t-shirt with heeled boots, but I do not like that look today, 100% on account of the blue jeans. I guess my tastes just changed over time.

 

Guys who wear sweatpants in public If a guy is in sweatpants banded at the ankles or those sweatbands around their wrists I am not able to get into any kind of a romantic mood. I have no desire to kiss, to cuddle, or even to hold hands, and I feel absolutely nothing if my date initiates anything.

 

Identically the same thing, except that mine is blue jeans instead of sweatpants. This is not a situation that I am intentionally creating, any more than Cookiesandough, and I am no more in the wrong than Cookiesandough, but especially because blue jeans are more commonly worn than sweatpants, I feel that withholding this piece of information is just simply wrong, but if I try to express this, some get very irrational as if I am trying to be controlling or something...all because I am trying to do the right thing.

[act00]

I think you need to re-route your thinking. This is a YOU issue. Blue jeans are too common a staple to the point I think it's something you're going to have to "get over." I would think that instead of focusing on the color of the jeans, focus on how hot she looks in them. Do this with everyone in public (don't leer and be creepy), as in, find qualities you like in the blue jeans. See if you can find some positives in order to re-route your thinking pattern. It's not a good thing to be so hung up on something so normal.

 

As far as dates, you can plan things that aren't really casual or are more a dressy affair or business casual. If you plan a date, plan venues that are less casual. You can say something like, "This restaurant is a bit dressier, like no denim, business casual (or dressy as the case may be)," so that she knows what to wear.

 

Long-term, there's no way I would tolerate not being "allowed" to wear a common clothing item that I happen to like. I would not be keen on being dictated what I can wear or not, and would move on if I found certain clothing turned him off...basic, everyday clothing. Blue jeans. Nope, sorry, next. You need to make some thinking changes, OP. You are surrounded by blue jeans in all walks of life.

 

If you decide blue jeans are absolutely not something you can tolerate in a mate, by all means, be clear on that as you plow through the dating world. It may take longer, but you will ultimately find someone that checks all your boxes...way more weeds to sort through, but if this is your deal-breaker, accept it and keep on plugging along.