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Another one bites the dust?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 1st November 2017, 12:07 AM   #61
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I was busy and work and came back to 4 pages of extensive analysis. Thanks guys

Yes, I did come on a bit strong but I told him during the date that I am happy being single and enjoy alone time so much that I am not particularly clear on what I am looking for and am probably too fussy for my own good. He said that he was never into anything casual, so for him it's either a platonic friendship or a full relationship. Then we moved on to other topics. So I hope he took my comments as light hearted banter. I know it sounds heavy but I would realistically move on in a 1-2 days if I never heard from him again.

As for the update: he did text me at 9:30pm last night (so making his promise for "next day") . I initially replied with "sorry who is this? "

He just started with "Hahaha here are some options for Thursday night...." giving me a choice of 3 restaurants. So we set the time and place and then he told me he booked the restaurant online.

The banter continued to be gushy. He told me his muscles are sore from his personal training session. I was like "aw poor baby, wish I could give you a hug " ..... and more flirting

After I didn't reply to his last text for about 20 minutes, he told me "well lovely lady, I am going to drift off to sleep now thinking about that hug. Sweet dreams x".

I think everything is on point so far. Things could still go anywhere from him flaking before the next date to a LTR. I don't care too much if I don't hear from him today since the date is firmly set for tomorrow night.
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Old 1st November 2017, 12:44 AM   #62
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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
I was busy and work and came back to 4 pages of extensive analysis. Thanks guys

Yes, I did come on a bit strong but I told him during the date that I am happy being single and enjoy alone time so much that I am not particularly clear on what I am looking for and am probably too fussy for my own good. He said that he was never into anything casual, so for him it's either a platonic friendship or a full relationship. Then we moved on to other topics. So I hope he took my comments as light hearted banter. I know it sounds heavy but I would realistically move on in a 1-2 days if I never heard from him again.

As for the update: he did text me at 9:30pm last night (so making his promise for "next day") . I initially replied with "sorry who is this? "

He just started with "Hahaha here are some options for Thursday night...." giving me a choice of 3 restaurants. So we set the time and place and then he told me he booked the restaurant online.

The banter continued to be gushy. He told me his muscles are sore from his personal training session. I was like "aw poor baby, wish I could give you a hug " ..... and more flirting

After I didn't reply to his last text for about 20 minutes, he told me "well lovely lady, I am going to drift off to sleep now thinking about that hug. Sweet dreams x".

I think everything is on point so far. Things could still go anywhere from him flaking before the next date to a LTR. I don't care too much if I don't hear from him today since the date is firmly set for tomorrow night.
Yay!!!!! That's so cute it doesn't sound like he's gonna flake. He got back to you as he said and seems super into you. I'm always about to make a thread and writing the title "hour after date and no tex-" and then they text lol. Gotta learn to chill I suppose
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Old 1st November 2017, 1:46 AM   #63
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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
I was busy and work and came back to 4 pages of extensive analysis. Thanks guys

Yes, I did come on a bit strong but I told him during the date that I am happy being single and enjoy alone time so much that I am not particularly clear on what I am looking for and am probably too fussy for my own good. He said that he was never into anything casual, so for him it's either a platonic friendship or a full relationship. Then we moved on to other topics. So I hope he took my comments as light hearted banter. I know it sounds heavy but I would realistically move on in a 1-2 days if I never heard from him again.

As for the update: he did text me at 9:30pm last night (so making his promise for "next day") . I initially replied with "sorry who is this? "

He just started with "Hahaha here are some options for Thursday night...." giving me a choice of 3 restaurants. So we set the time and place and then he told me he booked the restaurant online.

The banter continued to be gushy. He told me his muscles are sore from his personal training session. I was like "aw poor baby, wish I could give you a hug " ..... and more flirting

After I didn't reply to his last text for about 20 minutes, he told me "well lovely lady, I am going to drift off to sleep now thinking about that hug. Sweet dreams x".

I think everything is on point so far. Things could still go anywhere from him flaking before the next date to a LTR. I don't care too much if I don't hear from him today since the date is firmly set for tomorrow night.

Thank you for posting this as it is really eye opening to see how other girls interact with guys they are interesting in vs my own (clearly VERY aloof) approach!


I honestly had no idea that text exchanges after one date involve girl calling guy babe and suggesting hugs.


WOWWW I totally need to improve my game if this is the norm!!
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Old 1st November 2017, 2:26 AM   #64
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I didn't know it mattered much to a lot of girls if a guy was a player if he's good looking
I wanna add when a guy knows that a woman is really into him I think he is more likely to put her on the back burner. It's not gameplaying, it's just nature. he's got little reason to jump make plans because she's most likely not going anywhere (in his mind) Same with women
Cookies... most women don't want to get played. They don't want to be humped and dumped. They don't want a player bragging to all his friends the next day and showing video he took of having sex with her. Stuff like that.

Not every guy reacts the same to high levels of interest. You have to understand the type of guy you are dealing with before employing this approach.

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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
He just started with "Hahaha here are some options for Thursday night...." giving me a choice of 3 restaurants. So we set the time and place and then he told me he booked the restaurant online.

After I didn't reply to his last text for about 20 minutes, he told me "well lovely lady, I am going to drift off to sleep now thinking about that hug. Sweet dreams x".
This guys is very smooth. I like him! He handled your sh*t test in a very adult manner.

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Originally Posted by Mkn1010 View Post
Thank you for posting this as it is really eye opening to see how other girls interact with guys they are interesting in vs my own (clearly VERY aloof) approach!
I honestly had no idea that text exchanges after one date involve girl calling guy babe and suggesting hugs.
WOWWW I totally need to improve my game if this is the norm!!
This is like fishing. If you want to catch a particular kind of fish, then you have to use the right bait.

What ES is doing is showing that she is clearly into him, but teasing him a bit and remaining aloof. Some guys will respond well to this and some will not. The ones who respond well tend to be the kind most women want... experience and highly confident with good social skills.

This approach does not work well with guys like me. The key difference is what kind of chemistry fits his needs. In my younger days I used to be all about Opposites Attract and Physical chemistry, but now I'm much higher on the Sameness and Comfort Chemistry. We change as we age.
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Old 1st November 2017, 2:55 AM   #65
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Cobra is seems like most girls don't wanna get played but when it comes down to it the nice guys don't do it for them as much as the ones they know are hard to tame and have a high likelihood of breaking their heart. That excitement I guess.. Just seems that way in general but perhaps im wrong, perhaps it's younger women mostly as well
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Old 1st November 2017, 2:59 AM   #66
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He sounds very interested to me and sounds like you are too.
'Tomorrow' means there is a whole day in which to contact someone, you simply didn't have patience - and he did contact you within the 'tomorrow' time frame and at a respectful time of day too. plus he booked a place. Perfect!

Over contact at any point can kill attraction, you're only one date in.
Have some confidence in yourself, get busy, do things to take your mind off that he isn't blowing up your phone.

All sounds perfectly good and healthy to me.
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Old 1st November 2017, 5:39 AM   #67
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Originally Posted by Mkn1010 View Post
Thank you for posting this as it is really eye opening to see how other girls interact with guys they are interesting in vs my own (clearly VERY aloof) approach!


I honestly had no idea that text exchanges after one date involve girl calling guy babe and suggesting hugs.


WOWWW I totally need to improve my game if this is the norm!!
You’re sarcastic hopefully - if not, keep your style as is. I personally don’t stomach well heavy flirting (any pet names are a no go, joking as well). It could be different for others but you want to attract compatible people - sharing the same style of communication is quite vital so it shouldn’t be faked.
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Old 1st November 2017, 5:43 AM   #68
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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post

As for the update: he did text me at 9:30pm last night (so making his promise for "next day”).
I was sure Great that he responded!

Now, the exchange is a bit much but I guess it is just a matter of having compatible styles of communication.

I think this will go well - the next date and dates after.
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Old 1st November 2017, 9:25 AM   #69
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Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
Cobra is seems like most girls don't wanna get played but when it comes down to it the nice guys don't do it for them as much as the ones they know are hard to tame and have a high likelihood of breaking their heart. That excitement I guess.. Just seems that way in general but perhaps im wrong, perhaps it's younger women mostly as well
That is generally how it works. It really comes down to a particular person's emotional needs.

As we talked about in your thread regarding attraction... your own emotional needs drive a good chunk of what you find attractive in a man. When your emotional state changes over time so do your attractions.

I can look at pictures of girls I was in love with in High School and even the physical attraction is significantly lower than back then... despite the fact that the picture itself hasn't changed.

As this relates to ES. Over the course of 10,000 posts, I have no doubt she has become more emotionally healthy, and as a result what she finds attractive has changed.
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Old 1st November 2017, 2:21 PM   #70
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Really glad to hear this update, ES. Hope you have fun on your date!
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Old 1st November 2017, 4:08 PM   #71
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the max it should take to respond is 24 hours

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Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
I met a really cool guy yesterday on an OLD app. We went out for drinks after work.

He was 36, good job, degrees, home owner, pets, no ex wives/kids, introvert and was really easy to talk to. We had the same sense of humor, lots in common and he was pretty hot too. I actually felt the butterflies for once He didn't talk about younger women or women he finds hot or anything weird. He seemed to pay 100% attention on me and laughed at all my jokes I just kept looking at him and thinking "he is sooooo cute". Maybe slightly out of my league.

So I get in an uber and because I kind of said I have to get home early (he wanted to keep hanging out, I had an early meeting), I decided to text him first.

When we parted, he hugged me and said he would love to see me again.

We have the following text exchange:

Me: Hey. it was really nice meeting you today and really hope to see you again. Here is my number ___ just text, don't call
*(we only communicated through an app so didn't have each others numbers and we had this joke that we both hate phone calls)*

Him: Hahaha! I wouldn't put you through the torture of a phone call I had a really fun time with you and would really love to see you again And I hope the uber guy redeemed himself to at least 4 stars

Him: and my number is __

Me: I was already thinking whaaat no phone number? Haha joking. Promise not to call

Him: Just me being my usual scatterbrained self which has happened a lot today

Me: Heh lucky for you I find that kind of cute

Him: Definitely lucky for me and I find you very cute

Me: The feeling is mutual which doesn't happen that often for me x

Him: Well I am very glad to hear that and I would really love to see you again soon and to get to know you better xx

Him: I am away this weekend but maybe Thursday evening or next week?

Me: Thursday would work perhaps dinner after work?

Him: That sounds just about perfect! Any food you hate?


.............. we talk about food, restaurants but agree to set the place time later when we look places up

The conversation ends with him saying: Looking forward to it already. I am heading to bed soon but we will chat tomorrow. Sweet dreams x.


I said: you too xx


-----------------

It's now tomorrow, 9pm and nothing from him. Not a peep. Did I come on too strong?

Ghosted already?

I really liked this one. God damn. FML.

If the guy is mature he will text you, short of a emergency the max it should take is 24 hours. Since we are all glued to our phones
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Old 2nd November 2017, 4:43 AM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mkn1010 View Post
Thank you for posting this as it is really eye opening to see how other girls interact with guys they are interesting in vs my own (clearly VERY aloof) approach!


I honestly had no idea that text exchanges after one date involve girl calling guy babe and suggesting hugs.


WOWWW I totally need to improve my game if this is the norm!!
No, no, no - I am not a good example. I haven't had much luck in the dating arena. I guess the difference is that I act completely differently with guys I am into, which is often 1 out of 40 or so dates (probably even less actually). I am cold as ice when I am "meh" about a guy.

I tend to be transparent, but generally have sarcastic, teasing style of interaction even with friends. Some people like it, others get offended...

Anyway this guy hasn't contacted me at all yesterday (I didn't contact him either) which I was slightly sad about. This morning though he texted me "Good morning beautiful! I really hope today goes by quickly. Counting down the hours :-*"

1 hour till the date now. He hasn't flaked and I am really nervous. I don't think I will be even able to eat anything during dinner
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Old 2nd November 2017, 4:57 AM   #73
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Ooooo give us an update on dinner! Hope it goes well for you.
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Old 2nd November 2017, 5:19 AM   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mkn1010 View Post
Thank you for posting this as it is really eye opening to see how other girls interact with guys they are interesting in vs my own (clearly VERY aloof) approach!


I honestly had no idea that text exchanges after one date involve girl calling guy babe and suggesting hugs.


WOWWW I totally need to improve my game if this is the norm!!
I'm very flirty with a guy I like too but I don't think you should change yourself. You have to be genuine. Don't worry about what others are doing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Sunshine View Post
No, no, no - I am not a good example. I haven't had much luck in the dating arena. I guess the difference is that I act completely differently with guys I am into, which is often 1 out of 40 or so dates (probably even less actually). I am cold as ice when I am "meh" about a guy.

I tend to be transparent, but generally have sarcastic, teasing style of interaction even with friends. Some people like it, others get offended...

Anyway this guy hasn't contacted me at all yesterday (I didn't contact him either) which I was slightly sad about. This morning though he texted me "Good morning beautiful! I really hope today goes by quickly. Counting down the hours :-*"

1 hour till the date now. He hasn't flaked and I am really nervous. I don't think I will be even able to eat anything during dinner
lol. This is really cute. I hope it goes well.
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Old 2nd November 2017, 8:10 AM   #75
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It's really nice to see you excited about someone! Hope you're having fun on your date.
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