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Another one bites the dust?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 31st October 2017, 8:28 AM   #1
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Another one bites the dust?

I met a really cool guy yesterday on an OLD app. We went out for drinks after work.

He was 36, good job, degrees, home owner, pets, no ex wives/kids, introvert and was really easy to talk to. We had the same sense of humor, lots in common and he was pretty hot too. I actually felt the butterflies for once He didn't talk about younger women or women he finds hot or anything weird. He seemed to pay 100% attention on me and laughed at all my jokes I just kept looking at him and thinking "he is sooooo cute". Maybe slightly out of my league.

So I get in an uber and because I kind of said I have to get home early (he wanted to keep hanging out, I had an early meeting), I decided to text him first.

When we parted, he hugged me and said he would love to see me again.

We have the following text exchange:

Me: Hey. it was really nice meeting you today and really hope to see you again. Here is my number ___ just text, don't call
*(we only communicated through an app so didn't have each others numbers and we had this joke that we both hate phone calls)*

Him: Hahaha! I wouldn't put you through the torture of a phone call I had a really fun time with you and would really love to see you again And I hope the uber guy redeemed himself to at least 4 stars

Him: and my number is __

Me: I was already thinking whaaat no phone number? Haha joking. Promise not to call

Him: Just me being my usual scatterbrained self which has happened a lot today

Me: Heh lucky for you I find that kind of cute

Him: Definitely lucky for me and I find you very cute

Me: The feeling is mutual which doesn't happen that often for me x

Him: Well I am very glad to hear that and I would really love to see you again soon and to get to know you better xx

Him: I am away this weekend but maybe Thursday evening or next week?

Me: Thursday would work perhaps dinner after work?

Him: That sounds just about perfect! Any food you hate?


.............. we talk about food, restaurants but agree to set the place time later when we look places up

The conversation ends with him saying: Looking forward to it already. I am heading to bed soon but we will chat tomorrow. Sweet dreams x.


I said: you too xx


-----------------

It's now tomorrow, 9pm and nothing from him. Not a peep. Did I come on too strong?

Ghosted already?

I really liked this one. God damn. FML.
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Last edited by Eternal Sunshine; 31st October 2017 at 8:30 AM..
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Old 31st October 2017, 8:34 AM   #2
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I know it's really hard, but I'd give him just a little more time...
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Old 31st October 2017, 8:38 AM   #3
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No, you didn't come on too strong. I doubt that any man who was actually interested in you would have been scared by this exchange. I'm not sure why he didn't continue the conversation. I would have at least have left a message with an explanation and that I was looking forward to the next date in case I had suddenly gotten busy.
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Old 31st October 2017, 8:45 AM   #4
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It's now tomorrow, 9pm and nothing from him. Not a peep. Did I come on too strong?
Ghosted already?
I really liked this one. God damn. FML.
I wouldn't give up on this one just yet. There was a lot of positive interaction there. It sounds like you have the next date set. He may not reach out to you until closer to that date.

Look, most of us learn at some point that too much contact too fast comes across as clingy... and women hate clingy.

This guy seems really smooth.
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Old 31st October 2017, 8:58 AM   #5
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You have a date set for Thursday. Try to stay in a positive, non-anxious, headspace until then.

I sometimes say "talk tomorrow" when I should say "talk soon". Don't fret.
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Old 31st October 2017, 9:22 AM   #6
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Hmm...

(1) You absolutely did not come off too strong, so get that out of your pretty little head

(2) It sounded like a really great date and the banter afterwards seemed to support that.

(3) The fact that he set the next date seems very promising. Many first dates don't even get that after all.

(4) He informed you he would be away this weekend and have a second date tentatively set. It will be interesting to see how long it will take for him to follow up on it so for now, be patient.

(5) Despite his promise to contact you the next day and didn't, there is nothing stopping you from sending him a quick text saying something like "Good morning" or "Hope you're having a great day" and see how he responds.

(6) Just remember that this was a first date and he is likely courting other women at the same time which is perfectly normal and acceptable. The true test is if he follows through on the second date. If he doesn't, then perhaps it's time to box this guy up and put him out to the curb.

Until then, relax
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Old 31st October 2017, 9:28 AM   #7
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I see nothing strange about this interaction. It takes me a couple dates to get to know someone enough to have daily conversations. I see it more as he is excited to see you on Thursday and being introverted may not be ready for simple check in texts. The build up of anticipation can be pretty hot.
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Old 31st October 2017, 9:51 AM   #8
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Don't hold him so literally to "we'll talk tomorrow"; it's on par with "see you later" or "We'll talk soon".

In the meantime, your life is full to the point where it hasn't ground to a stand still because he didn't phone you last night, right?
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Old 31st October 2017, 11:02 AM   #9
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Are you older than him? He was too good to be true he might as well been. He's move on with someone else. If you haven't heard a word from him. Women do this too. At lease you had fun time also...
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Old 31st October 2017, 11:07 AM   #10
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Sounds great! I think he's possibly just scattered-brained as he told you, and for him 'tomorrow' may have just meant some time before the date. I'd say if you're anxious - you can contact him at some point on Wednesday to finalize the details. Nothing needy about this - logistics is logistics and the more organized should take charge.
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Old 31st October 2017, 11:14 AM   #11
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OP, don't know what the young folks do but can tell you what I did when your age under a similar phone conversation. I'd call the lady Wednesday evening to follow up and confirm our dinner plans. No chatting in between except perhaps if we'd left the specific place open and I had a suggestion I wanted her feedback on.

This is specific to early times with otherwise strangers for perhaps the first few weeks of dating. Over time, and with more mutual interest, in-between time got filled in by both of us.

In my demographic it was/is customary for the man, if he makes the offer/asks on the date/sets the plans, to follow up on that. What I'd do if calling and getting no answer or voice mail is try again/leave a message and, if no joy that evening, move on to the next thing to do for the evening in question, like work or visiting friends or helping mom or whatever. Silence was the end and any recovery was up to the lady involved.

Good luck with your date and, if no joy, yeah, that's how it goes. No matter how old we are or how many dates we've been on, each iteration is new and can go any way.
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Old 31st October 2017, 11:54 AM   #12
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Look at all the x's awww. You both came on too strong to each other lol no, it's cute . Don't worry too much yet. Give it some time. He should set things up by Wednesday. If not, forget him.
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Old 31st October 2017, 12:10 PM   #13
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C'mon, just wait til Thursday and see...
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Old 31st October 2017, 1:06 PM   #14
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I'm glad you met someone you really like and I don't want to rain on your parade... but if a guy said "we'll chat tomorrow" and then I heard nothing from him that day, my level of interest would take a nosedive.

I think that when a guy is interested enough, you'll hear from him the next day... and every day thereafter.
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Old 31st October 2017, 1:10 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby Slippers View Post
I'm glad you met someone you really like and I don't want to rain on your parade... but if a guy said "we'll chat tomorrow" and then I heard nothing from him that day, my level of interest would take a nosedive.

I think that when a guy is interested enough, you'll hear from him the next day... and every day thereafter.
Yea I agree with that ...I dunno about every day but if he's very interested yes. And even if he's interested it should be almost every day at the beginning at least. Especially when he says he's going to contact you he does. I'd say it's not extreme interest but doesn't mean it's dead just yet
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