Should I?

[KBob]

So I matched with a girl on Tinder who looks to be my type, but in my effort to come across as humourus and strike upon common ground i realised later that I sounded arrogant and ignorant.

 

Would sending a follow up message to correct my mistake and clarify make me look needy? I feel like it would.

[TheWoman]

You could be simple and self depreciating over it, while indicating it wa a joke, like 'hey hope my attempts at humor haven't put you off. how is your day going, etc.'

 

It is easy to put someone off on those early texts because you dont know anything about them. But if you do, it is probably for the best, either something you said didnt work for them on some level so you are probably not compatible. Or it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with something else going on their life.

 

For example I was texting a guy recently and said I was going to the cinema that weekend, he asked who I was going with. I ignored this as I found it a bit controlling from someone Id never met (of all the questions he could ask about me, he came up with that?!) He asked again and I stopped all communications.He probably thinks he caught me out and I was going on another date (I wasnt). But the truth is, it was none of his business and him thinking it was, was a red flag for me.

 

Good on you for trying to make it fun though, because without a bit of humor those first 'where are you from' etc texts are soooo boring after a while.

[caveman621]

It can't hurt. Either it's over before it ever started (doing nothing) or it's over before it ever started (messaging again and getting no response or a negative response) or it's the start of something (messaging again and getting a positive response.).

[elaine567]

So I matched with a girl on Tinder who looks to be my type, but in my effort to come across as humourus and strike upon common ground i realised later that I sounded arrogant and ignorant.

 

Would sending a follow up message to correct my mistake and clarify make me look needy? I feel like it would.

 

I would ignore it and act as if nothing happened, send a nice bland text or ask her out on a date, whatever is most appropriate, either she will take it as the joke intended, or call you out on it and you can then defend yourself, or she will be highly offended and annoyed and so there is probably little you can do to retrieve the situation then anyway.

[todreaminblue]

i dont think it would or should hurt in anyway to explain you were being humorous....if it did annoy her for you to say it...that woman isnt probably the right lady for you....deb

[Gaeta]

Women are very sensitive to arrogance and ignorance these days with everything going on with the sexual arrassments agressions coming out. I personally would appreciate a man to come to the realization that he went over board with a joke and acknowledge it.

 

You have nothing to lose.

[Cersei]

KBOB:

 

Exactly what did you say in the text? Maybe you are over analyzing?

 

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TheWoman:

 

Maybe he asked who you were going with in hopes of going with you? Don't assume anything. Texting can leave so many misunderstandings.

[GemmaUK]

What did you say exactly and how had things been going with chatting to her prior to that message?

[KBob]

KBOB:

 

Exactly what did you say in the text? Maybe you are over analyzing?

 

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TheWoman:

 

Maybe he asked who you were going with in hopes of going with you? Don't assume anything. Texting can leave so many misunderstandings.

 

She's a dog owner and I happen to be a person who is loved by every dog in the world. I joked about that being my cross to bear and basically said it's a guarantee her dog will like me but not a 100% guarantee that I'll like it. Totally not what I meant but when I looked at it again I realized that it could have been easily taken that way.

 

Gaeta's right, I have nothing to lose by sending a follow up message, so I will do just that.

[Gaeta]

She's a dog owner and I happen to be a person who is loved by every dog in the world. I joked about that being my cross to bear and basically said it's a guarantee her dog will like me but not a 100% guarantee that I'll like it. Totally not what I meant but when I looked at it again I realized that it could have been easily taken that way.

 

Gaeta's right, I have nothing to lose by sending a follow up message, so I will do just that.

 

As a dog owner I garantee you I would have hated that joke and not talk to you again. We are very sensitive in that department and would not consider dating someone feeling so so about our dog.

 

Yes it's better you send a follow up message and confess it was a a bad attempt to joke.

[KBob]

As a dog owner I garantee you I would have hated that joke and not talk to you again.

 

That's what I figured. Foot is firmly in mouth.

[OatsAndHall]

I got a few dates off of second messages when using OLD. But, you really don't know how she took the message; only that you viewed it as arrogant. She might just not be interested, initially, at least. So, a self-deprecating quip might not serve you well.

 

My second message was always:

 

"You'd view me as pleasantly-persistent if I sent you a second message, right? -insert random emoji-".

[Gaeta]

I got a few dates off of second messages when using OLD. But, you really don't know how she took the message; only that you viewed it as arrogant. She might just not be interested, initially, at least. So, a self-deprecating quip might not serve you well.

 

My second message was always:

 

"You'd view me as pleasantly-persistent if I sent you a second message, right? -insert random emoji-".

 

I don't know if I am the only dog owner on this thread but I assure you, in my case, he would have to directly address his bad jokes about possibly not liking my dog.

[smackie9]

Simply apologize and cut your losses. Don't try to brown nose.