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Girl I've Been Dating for 2 Months has Ghosted Me


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I've been dating a girl for close to 2 months now. She's super inexperienced, still a virgin and hasn't had a "proper" boyfriend. She's younger than me. She is very good looking and receives a huge amount of male attention.

 

We've been getting along great, and she's seemed extremely into me, with equal date planning/initiation on both ends. She's super busy with university at the moment, and I'm only seeing her once a week, which is not enough for me and it's making me feel like this won't really progress anywhere. She's told me she likes me because I'm very laidback and nonchalant and that she's used to guys chasing her constantly, while I don't do that at all. I've been letting her come to me, as I'm not a massive texter etc, but i'll set up a date as soon as she reaches out to me.

 

I've met her dad and quite a few of her friends and we got along great. Apparently I'm the first guy her dad has actually liked, i'm the first "man" she's dated, and she's not used to dating someone "confident and loud" which i find sad if i'm honest.

 

I'm cool with the virgin thing, I am willing to wait, and we're very affectionate around eachother. I've made it pretty clear I want to sleep with her, I'm always touching her etc and she reciprocates. She seems very comfortable around me.

 

Anyway, she came over to my place for a casual dinner 3 nights ago where she met my family. It was super, super laidback and I ensured it wasn't some sort of "scary family introduction", I just couldn't be bothered going out, and we just had takeout around the TV and joked around and laughed etc. She was very nervous but loosened up and they loved her.

 

We chilled out in my room afterwards listening to music, we were heavily making out and I went to "touch" her and she turned me down, I asked if she was ok and she said "yeah i'm fine", and nothing else, so I instantly stopped touching her and we just talked and joked around for the rest of the night.

 

I'm not sure if she got the sense I was frustrated, but it might've come off that way.

 

She had to leave quite early as she has class super early the next morning.

 

I haven't heard from her in 3 days now, at all, and i'm beginning to think it might be done. I'm thinking she was intimidated by the idea of meeting my family and turned off by it. I don't think she is attracted to me enough to want to go further with me, that is what my gut's saying, and I believe she might be ghosting me out of fear of not knowing how to "end" it.

 

I've tried to go the "safe" route with her, which I never do with girls, where I've taken it slow and tried to make her comfortable and meet my friends/family and show her that i'm interested in her for her and not just her body, and as I suspected it's resulting in her losing attraction/interest in me.

 

I'm not going to contact her. I've initiated 3/3 last dates, and I've been the one to reach out to her recently the most. I think her interest is waning.

 

Can anyone give me some input here? Why might she have just gone cold?

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You're speculating as to the reason why she's not contacting you. If you're right about her not being attracted enough to you to meet your family, then why are you meeting hers? Doesn't seem like there's been great communication between you two, and now there's none at all. I'd say the ship has sailed on improving that, but if you do hear back from her then improving communication should be priority one. I'll be honest though it won't be an easy task with an inexperienced virgin that's never had a relationship.

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did you contact her after that last time?

 

No, i figured i'd let her contact me to at least tell me she enjoyed herself or something, I've been the one contacting her most recently.

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I don't think she's really ghosting you (yet anyway) since you're also not contacting her. That's more like if she was ignoring your texts and calls...

 

But you can usually tell if someone is losing interest when there's a big change in their texting, and like you said also that gut feeling. I don't know if that happened here, she might just be passive.

 

She could also be thinking that you lost interest, because you're not reaching out.

 

I would just call or text her, you can probably tell by her response if she's still interested

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I haven't heard from her in 3 days now, at all, and i'm beginning to think it might be done. I'm thinking she was intimidated by the idea of meeting my family and turned off by it.

 

And SHE might well be thinking 'He hasn't contacted me since I've met the family. I'll bet they didn't like me'

 

Get in touch with her. You'll know more then!

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If you like her just message her. Why all the drama. If she doesn't like you you will know soon enough.

 

Maybe she is just feeling scared and vulnerable and needs some reassurance from you that you like her and want to be with her and not just with a virgin.

 

Whatever the reason you'll find out more from communication than not.

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She could also be thinking that you lost interest, because you're not reaching out.

 

This.

 

Sad, but true, girls often expect the guy to reach out first. Just one of those things that isn't fair, but it is what it is. Added to that, she's inexperienced and she came onto your turf. You also say you may have come across a little frustrated when she declined your offer of going further.

 

I think it would be very fair of her to assume you're ghosting on her! You may be right, she may have lost interest. But this could also be a simple case of each person not wanting to be the one to reach out. Girls are constantly being told that if guys are interested, they'll contact you and not to chase. And you aren't. She has initiated in the past and text first. If you like her, would it hurt to reach out? Just a text? If she's not interested, it will become apparent quickly.

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Given her inexperience, she's probably expecting you to text first, and express your continued interest, especially since she's not giving up the goodies and your attempt was not met well, plus she just met your family, which is a big deal, nerve wracking, and she doesn't know if they like her or not. It won't kill you to reach out to her. If she's not interested, you'll know soon enough. Rip off the Band-Aid.

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Thanks guys, i've messaged her telling her my family liked her and asked if she had fun. She's being pretty short with me, but oh well at least she's responding. I don't really have anything to lose now.

 

My sister thinks she's getting frustrated because I'm not "moving things forward" i.e., asking her to be my girlfriend. She's also complained to her friend (who told me) that I don't "seem to be interested in her/taking her seriously" and that she "can't read me". I've explicitly told her I like her, and I show obvious interest by contacting her. I don't know what else i'm supposed to do.

 

I don't know whether she's withholding the sexuality until we're "official", for the sake of comfort, which i would understand. But in my experience, it usually indicates lukewarm attraction, even if she is a virgin.

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Thanks guys, i've messaged her telling her my family liked her and asked if she had fun. She's being pretty short with me, but oh well at least she's responding. I don't really have anything to lose now.

 

My sister thinks she's getting frustrated because I'm not "moving things forward" i.e., asking her to be my girlfriend. She's also complained to her friend (who told me) that I don't "seem to be interested in her/taking her seriously" and that she "can't read me". I've explicitly told her I like her, and I show obvious interest by contacting her. I don't know what else i'm supposed to do.

 

I don't know whether she's withholding the sexuality until we're "official", for the sake of comfort, which i would understand. But in my experience, it usually indicates lukewarm attraction, even if she is a virgin.

 

You seem to be talking to everyone apart from her! Why don't you have a conversation about this? Plenty of people wait to have sex until their "official", it doesn't always mean they're not interested.

 

You already know she worries you're not interested and then went silent after she met your parents. In her mind, you're only confirming her fears.

 

Put yourself in her shoes for a minute. She stopped you from going further than she was comfortable with and she didn't hear from you afterwards. Until now, 3 or 4 days later. That comes across as lukewarm interest at best, at worst that you're only interested in sex. You don't seem like either based on your posts but you need to communicate better. She has no experience of this. If you're in a place where you are ready to have sex with her, you're in a place where you can talk about it.

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Thanks guys, i've messaged her telling her my family liked her and asked if she had fun. She's being pretty short with me, but oh well at least she's responding. I don't really have anything to lose now.

 

My sister thinks she's getting frustrated because I'm not "moving things forward" i.e., asking her to be my girlfriend. She's also complained to her friend (who told me) that I don't "seem to be interested in her/taking her seriously" and that she "can't read me". I've explicitly told her I like her, and I show obvious interest by contacting her. I don't know what else i'm supposed to do.

 

I don't know whether she's withholding the sexuality until we're "official", for the sake of comfort, which i would understand. But in my experience, it usually indicates lukewarm attraction, even if she is a virgin.

 

Are you really serious!??

 

I may be wrong but you're really coming off bad in my opinion. You're dating a virgin for ONLY two months. You two have met each other's friends and family and yet NOT official? Then you go and try to have sex with her!??? Then when she refused you gave her the impression you were frustrated but yet you waited days after you contacted her? If I was her friend I would advice her to stay away from you.

 

That poor girl probably freaked out thinking you only want sex from her. I would think so. No contact for days after that incident. Where is your compassion? Where is your brain dude, inside your pants?!

 

I don't see you being patient with her. She is not ready to sleep with you because she most likely want her first to be special. Do you understand that!? She's not going to sleep with some random dude with lukewarm interest on her.

 

You don't know what else to do? How about show more respect and be more considerate. Telling someone you like them is not enough. You need to back it up with actions too.

 

Seriously, I really don't think you have the patience to date an inexperienced virgin. You wouldn't be coming on her complaining about it. You would be texting and calling her instead. Would it kill you if you are always initiating? She has no experience. She probably thinks interested guys are always the one initiating. I used to think that when I was young.

 

You've talked to everyone about your concern BUT her. What's up with that? Grow up and learn to communicate.

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I've been dating a girl for close to 2 months now. She's super inexperienced, still a virgin and hasn't had a "proper" boyfriend. She's younger than me. She is very good looking and receives a huge amount of male attention.

 

We've been getting along great, and she's seemed extremely into me, with equal date planning/initiation on both ends. She's super busy with university at the moment, and I'm only seeing her once a week, which is not enough for me and it's making me feel like this won't really progress anywhere. She's told me she likes me because I'm very laidback and nonchalant and that she's used to guys chasing her constantly, while I don't do that at all. I've been letting her come to me, as I'm not a massive texter etc, but i'll set up a date as soon as she reaches out to me.

 

I've met her dad and quite a few of her friends and we got along great. Apparently I'm the first guy her dad has actually liked, i'm the first "man" she's dated, and she's not used to dating someone "confident and loud" which i find sad if i'm honest.

 

I'm cool with the virgin thing, I am willing to wait, and we're very affectionate around eachother. I've made it pretty clear I want to sleep with her, I'm always touching her etc and she reciprocates. She seems very comfortable around me.

 

Anyway, she came over to my place for a casual dinner 3 nights ago where she met my family. It was super, super laidback and I ensured it wasn't some sort of "scary family introduction", I just couldn't be bothered going out, and we just had takeout around the TV and joked around and laughed etc. She was very nervous but loosened up and they loved her.

 

We chilled out in my room afterwards listening to music, we were heavily making out and I went to "touch" her and she turned me down, I asked if she was ok and she said "yeah i'm fine", and nothing else, so I instantly stopped touching her and we just talked and joked around for the rest of the night.

 

I'm not sure if she got the sense I was frustrated, but it might've come off that way.

 

She had to leave quite early as she has class super early the next morning.

 

I haven't heard from her in 3 days now, at all, and i'm beginning to think it might be done. I'm thinking she was intimidated by the idea of meeting my family and turned off by it. I don't think she is attracted to me enough to want to go further with me, that is what my gut's saying, and I believe she might be ghosting me out of fear of not knowing how to "end" it.

 

I've tried to go the "safe" route with her, which I never do with girls, where I've taken it slow and tried to make her comfortable and meet my friends/family and show her that i'm interested in her for her and not just her body, and as I suspected it's resulting in her losing attraction/interest in me.

 

I'm not going to contact her. I've initiated 3/3 last dates, and I've been the one to reach out to her recently the most. I think her interest is waning.

 

Can anyone give me some input here? Why might she have just gone cold?

 

 

You have said a lot of things here that are contradictory.

 

" I told her I'm willing to wait." " I made it clear I want to sleep with her, I'm always touching her."

 

Hahahaha seriously dude?

 

You think she got intimidated by meeting your family? How about KNOWING you scared the $hi7 out of her that she might be losing her virginity on someone not special.

 

"I don't think she's attracted to me enough to go further with me." Well let me break it to you. It's not about being attracted to someone ok. She doesn't feel respected and she doesn't feel special to give it up to you.

 

"I've tried to go the SAFE route where I've taking things slow......showed her I'm interested in her and not just her body..."

 

Yeah you surely DIDN'T. Disappearing on her for days after you tried to have sex with her.

 

Please save this poor girl the heartache and leave her be. Let her find the right dude that will be truly respectful and patient with her that knows how to communicate with her.

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Are you really serious!??

 

I may be wrong but you're really coming off bad in my opinion. You're dating a virgin for ONLY two months. You two have met each other's friends and family and yet NOT official? Then you go and try to have sex with her!??? Then when she refused you gave her the impression you were frustrated but yet you waited days after you contacted her? If I was her friend I would advice her to stay away from you.

 

That poor girl probably freaked out thinking you only want sex from her. I would think so. No contact for days after that incident. Where is your compassion? Where is your brain dude, inside your pants?!

 

I don't see you being patient with her. She is not ready to sleep with you because she most likely want her first to be special. Do you understand that!? She's not going to sleep with some random dude with lukewarm interest on her.

 

You don't know what else to do? How about show more respect and be more considerate. Telling someone you like them is not enough. You need to back it up with actions too.

 

Seriously, I really don't think you have the patience to date an inexperienced virgin. You wouldn't be coming on her complaining about it. You would be texting and calling her instead. Would it kill you if you are always initiating? She has no experience. She probably thinks interested guys are always the one initiating. I used to think that when I was young.

 

You've talked to everyone about your concern BUT her. What's up with that? Grow up and learn to communicate.

 

Ugh, it didn't let me fix my misspelling.

 

I meant to say, you wouldn't be coming on HERE posting. Instead you would be contacting her and discuss your issue.

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we were heavily making out and I went to "touch" her and she turned me down

 

She isn't ready to have sex with you and feels pressured.

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I just called her then. I can definitely sense she is frustrated with me. I mentioned something about "charming" her mum when i meet her as a joke and she got angry. I asked to see her Saturday and she said no and offered no counter date. I don't understand what i've done wrong exactly. I will gladly ask her to be my girlfriend if i knew that's what she wanted. She told me my confidence is "gross", when I was literally just joking around with her as I always do. She sounded upset/like she didn't want to speak to me, and yet still answered the phone?

 

I will leave her alone until she wants to see me again. For the record i haven't pressured her into ANYTHING, I didn't pressure her the other night at all, she shut me down and I was fine with it and continued as if nothing happened. I have not come on too strong whatsoever, if anything it's the opposite, and I have shown i'm interested in her beyond sex.

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I just called her then. I can definitely sense she is frustrated with me. I mentioned something about "charming" her mum when i meet her as a joke and she got angry. I asked to see her Saturday and she said no and offered no counter date. I don't understand what i've done wrong exactly. I will gladly ask her to be my girlfriend if i knew that's what she wanted. She told me my confidence is "gross", when I was literally just joking around with her as I always do. She sounded upset/like she didn't want to speak to me, and yet still answered the phone?

 

I will leave her alone until she wants to see me again. For the record i haven't pressured her into ANYTHING, I didn't pressure her the other night at all, she shut me down and I was fine with it and continued as if nothing happened. I have not come on too strong whatsoever, if anything it's the opposite, and I have shown i'm interested in her beyond sex.

 

If all this is true, why haven't you made it "official" then?

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heavenonearth
I just called her then. I can definitely sense she is frustrated with me. I mentioned something about "charming" her mum when i meet her as a joke and she got angry. I asked to see her Saturday and she said no and offered no counter date. I don't understand what i've done wrong exactly. I will gladly ask her to be my girlfriend if i knew that's what she wanted. She told me my confidence is "gross", when I was literally just joking around with her as I always do. She sounded upset/like she didn't want to speak to me, and yet still answered the phone?

 

I will leave her alone until she wants to see me again. For the record i haven't pressured her into ANYTHING, I didn't pressure her the other night at all, she shut me down and I was fine with it and continued as if nothing happened. I have not come on too strong whatsoever, if anything it's the opposite, and I have shown i'm interested in her beyond sex.

 

How old are you two?

The way she reacts to certain advances makes me think she may have been abused in the past?

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If all this is true, why haven't you made it "official" then?

 

I guess i've never put a label on things until i've had sex with a girl so all of this is very new/weird to me. I've also never been the one to chase to that is new to me aswell. She is worth it so if I know that's what she wants i'll chase her and ask her to be my girlfriend. My insecurity is that she's lukewarm on me, which is preventing me from outright asking her to be official, but there's also the possibility she's very into me but feels like i'm just not serious about her and so doesn't want to get hurt.

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I guess i've never put a label on things until i've had sex with a girl so all of this is very new/weird to me. I've also never been the one to chase to that is new to me aswell. She is worth it so if I know that's what she wants i'll chase her and ask her to be my girlfriend. My insecurity is that she's lukewarm on me, which is preventing me from outright asking her to be official, but there's also the possibility she's very into me but feels like i'm just not serious about her and so doesn't want to get hurt.

 

This is crazy! This could all be solved with a conversation about expectation. It's very possible you are both really into each other but assume the other isn't so you're both cooling things off. Or she could have already cooled.

 

This can only be solved by swift and honest communication. Which would require you to be somewhat vulnerable. Explain why you didn't call after she met your family, explain why you haven't made it official. Reassure her. It may already be too late so it's up to you if you think it's worth putting yourself out there.

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Cookiesandough

You saw this girl six times back in September already , so I'm assuming nearly 10 dates by now, have met each other's family, and all this other stuff.. she is a virgin and you haven't asked her to be your gf but are pushing things sexually. That is probably making her wary!!! She probably doesn't want to get too sexual with a guy looking for a fling seeing as she has held out on sex for so long. Just a guess.

 

 

Or she's not interested

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MajesticUnicorn

It doesn't really sound like this relationship is salvageable. If I were in her position, I would be frustrated with you too.

 

For the record, "ghosting," is when you reach out to someone and they don't respond to you. You invited her over to meet your family, acted frustrated when she didn't want to get physical with you, and then didn't contact her for three days. If I were in her position, I would think you were the one who lost interest.

 

If you really feel strongly about her, then you should apologize to her and admit your wrongdoings...that's probably what she's waiting for.

 

But at this point, I don't think that you two are compatible. I don't think it has anything to do with her lack of interest, but rather you not understanding/being the right person to handle her lack of experience. Some people are cut out for dating inexperienced virgins, others are not.

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