Mind, body and soul connection

[Mkn1010]

Has anyone heard or personally lived by this trifecta theory of wanting a partner with whom you have a deep 'mind, body and soul' connection. So someone you are intellectually, emotionally and physically on the same with/compatible with?

 

 

Or is that a little much to ask? Realistically, do you choose a long term partner with maybe an average connection in one of the above but strong in the other two?

 

 

When I find the type of guy I'm strongly compatible with in an emotional and intellectual sense, you'd think the physical would follow, but nope...and it's not even me, the guy will be the one who something is missing for too in the physical compatibility realm. And then I'll meet someone who I have off-the-charts physical chemistry with and they may usually be really smart, but not very emotionally in-tune or deep!

 

 

Does this sound like I'm being too picky?

[Eternal Sunshine]

Most people don't have all 3 and still get married and have a LTR after LTR. I personally need all 3 and for all 3 to be mutual.

 

The difference between a serial monogamist and a perma-single person are low standards

[basil67]

Isn't mind and soul the same thing?

[Mkn1010]

Most people don't have all 3 and still get married and have a LTR after LTR. I personally need all 3 and for all 3 to be mutual.

 

The difference between a serial monogamist and a perma-single person are low standards

 

 

I love this this is so what I think to myself all the time!

 

 

Are you single? And if so, how long for if you don't mind me asking?

[Highndry]

I don't even understand this.

[Mkn1010]

Isn't mind and soul the same thing?

 

No....mind = intellectual connection, intellectual conversations about mutual topics, theorizing on matters that both people feel passionate about, and also having similar tastes in terms of interests.

 

 

soul = the undefined element, the big one, the feeling like something spiritual connects the two of you, something beyond this realm. I have only had this once....ever. Intimacy feels like a powerful union of emotions and can bring you to tears (cheesy I know).

[basil67]

I don't even understand this.

 

Same here....

[basil67]

No....mind = intellectual connection, intellectual conversations about mutual topics, theorizing on matters that both people feel passionate about, and also having similar tastes in terms of interests.

 

 

soul = the undefined element, the big one, the feeling like something spiritual connects the two of you, something beyond this realm. I have only had this once....ever. Intimacy feels like a powerful union of emotions and can bring you to tears (cheesy I know).

 

OK, thanks for the explanation.

 

While hubby and I don't connect 100% on all three, we have enough of each to make it work well. I would imagine that 3 x 100% would only exist in a perfect world. Not sure it's a realistic thing to strive for.

[Mkn1010]

OK, thanks for the explanation.

 

While hubby and I don't connect 100% on all three, we have enough of each to make it work well. I would imagine that 3 x 100% would only exist in a perfect world. Not sure it's a realistic thing to strive for.

 

I agree with this too, it's far from a perfect world and I honestly feel like I'm part of a loveless generation... people are incredibly self-absorbed or obsessed with baseless priorities! No one knows the meaning of commitment, vulnerability and unconditional love anymore!

 

 

So it's definitely unrealistic to have 100% in all three. I wonder if I should just accept that even 80% is probably a bit unrealistic! Or maybe because I had that deep soul thing once, that was enough for one lifetime and you don't get to have it again!

[Eternal Sunshine]

I love this this is so what I think to myself all the time!

 

 

Are you single? And if so, how long for if you don't mind me asking?

 

Yes - I have been single on and off for 5 years (since I last lived with someone). I have had a couple of 6 months-1 year relationships during that time though. Every now and then, I tell myself that I am being unrealistic and push myself into a relationship where I am not really feeling it on all levels. Or, I am feeling it but the guy isn't.

 

Then again, I am a loner, I prefer solitary activities so it's pretty easy and natural to be single. Most people hate being alone so I understand why they would have lower standards for a relationship.

[No_Go]

Yes - I have been single on and off for 5 years (since I last lived with someone). I have had a couple of 6 months-1 year relationships during that time though. Every now and then, I tell myself that I am being unrealistic and push myself into a relationship where I am not really feeling it on all levels. Or, I am feeling it but the guy isn't.

 

Then again, I am a loner, I prefer solitary activities so it's pretty easy and natural to be single. Most people hate being alone so I understand why they would have lower standards for a relationship.

 

I wish more people were appreciating the truth in the bolded statement...

It also seems to be cultural - certain demographic groups are obsessed with being coupled. Others - simply have no choice.

 

I think mind, body and soul connections do NOT need to happen with the same person. It will be great - but it happens extremely rarely. I've been thinking about it in a while: I think this is an artificially set model to ensure 'family units' staying together for people that are not monogamous by nature.

[CptInsano]

Has anyone heard or personally lived by this trifecta theory of wanting a partner with whom you have a deep 'mind, body and soul' connection. So someone you are intellectually, emotionally and physically on the same with/compatible with?

 

Yes!

 

Or is that a little much to ask? Realistically, do you choose a long term partner with maybe an average connection in one of the above but strong in the other two?

 

Depends on how conventional you are. If you have specific tastes, or are a bit of an oddball yourself, then it will get hard finding all three. I only met one woman who I was compatible with in all three aspects, but external circumstances prevented a relationship.

 

I have a somewhat "interesting" background, so I no-longer expect a match on all three. In fact, I do relish differences to a certain degree, they keep things interesting.

[OnlyHonesty]

You are very unlikely to find what you are looking for, because all of those things that you want are directly related to the level of consciousness a person has, and how identified with their own mind they are. If you consider the overall state of the collective consciousness, you will know why meeting someone that ticks those boxes is very unlikely.

 

Then you have the stages where fantasy, infatuation, and first impressions can cloud reality as well.

 

There is also a possibility that on some subconscious level, you may be creating obstacles for yourself. This then becomes a never ending, and impossible search for a future that may never exist. I believe some of those things you mentioned can be developed, grow, and become enough from having some of the others.

 

For example. I think a strong soul based and mind connection, can lead to a strong physical one because the light within, radiates outward. But perhaps a strong physical one, may not lead to a strong mind one for the same reasons.

[MajesticUnicorn]

It would be awesome to find all three.

 

In my experience, I can find someone I am emotionally and intellectually compatible with, but the physical attraction is not there. These are the type I end up having as friends.

 

Or it can be intellectual and physical, but not the emotional attraction. Which seems to be the case for guys I end up being FWB with.

 

Physical and emotional connection in my experience seems to be the ones I end up dating.

 

In a perfect world I'll find a guy with all three!

[Mkn1010]

Yes!

 

 

 

Depends on how conventional you are. If you have specific tastes, or are a bit of an oddball yourself, then it will get hard finding all three. I only met one woman who I was compatible with in all three aspects, but external circumstances prevented a relationship.

 

I have a somewhat "interesting" background, so I no-longer expect a match on all three. In fact, I do relish differences to a certain degree, they keep things interesting.

 

Yes, that's exactly the difficulty as I'm a huge oddball I've always believed that some of my more mainstream friends have a much larger pool of potential to work with! This might sound arrogant and I hope it doesn't offend anyone but I often find people my age to have such different (perhaps surface level) priorities than I do... like social media, money, meeting society's definition of success, ticking off milestones according to a set timeline and/or other self-absorbed endeavours! So yeah, massive loner here

[basil67]

I agree with this too, it's far from a perfect world and I honestly feel like I'm part of a loveless generation... people are incredibly self-absorbed or obsessed with baseless priorities! No one knows the meaning of commitment, vulnerability and unconditional love anymore!

 

I'm a mother, so I know unconditional love. But my love for a partner is conditional upon being treated well. Unconditional adult love is the stuff which underpins accepting abusive partners.

 

Commitment? I'm told that the fact that I'm defacto shows a lack of commitment. Yet our defacto union has lasted far longer than many formal marriage I know. That said, I know many other long term marriages too. Commitment most certainly exists.

 

When you speak of vulnerability, do you mean offering love knowing that it may one day end and you'll get hurt? There's still plenty of that going around too.

 

The only thing I'm seeing going wrong is with online dating and the sheer volume of people being churned through in people's quests to find "The One". From the outside looking in, it seems people have lost the ability to be patient. And that if they aren't getting many dates, there's something wrong.

[Mkn1010]

I'm a mother, so I know unconditional love. But my love for a partner is conditional upon being treated well. Unconditional adult love is the stuff which underpins accepting abusive partners.

 

Commitment? I'm told that the fact that I'm defacto shows a lack of commitment. Yet our defacto union has lasted far longer than many formal marriage I know. That said, I know many other long term marriages too. Commitment most certainly exists.

 

When you speak of vulnerability, do you mean offering love knowing that it may one day end and you'll get hurt? There's still plenty of that going around too.

 

The only thing I'm seeing going wrong is with online dating and the sheer volume of people being churned through in people's quests to find "The One". From the outside looking in, it seems people have lost the ability to be patient. And that if they aren't getting many dates, there's something wrong.

 

 

I actually believe that many defacto partnerships are fully (if not more) committed. It's as though marriage has become meaningless or something that is easily exited out of (perhaps this is my pessimistic view from years as a divorce lawyer).

 

 

And I couldn't agree more regarding your analysis of the 'churn and burn' culture! We want what we want and for it to happen NOW (on our terms), which is the problem with people's expectations for instant gratification today! And if someone isn't immediately meeting 'needs' (aka pumping up one's ego), then it's NEXT :/

[Mkn1010]

Yes - I have been single on and off for 5 years (since I last lived with someone). I have had a couple of 6 months-1 year relationships during that time though. Every now and then, I tell myself that I am being unrealistic and push myself into a relationship where I am not really feeling it on all levels. Or, I am feeling it but the guy isn't.

 

Then again, I am a loner, I prefer solitary activities so it's pretty easy and natural to be single. Most people hate being alone so I understand why they would have lower standards for a relationship.

 

I identify with this a lot as I'm also content on my own. I'm an introvert but also don't mind going out to things alone. Plus someone's company that I'm not really into is far more irritating and unnerving than flying solo!!

[snowbird7]

OP, I can relate to what you're going through. It's really hard to find compatibility in all 3 areas. But I think that in a relationship it's really only intellectual and emotional compatibility that's important. After all, the physical side can be worked on, but if there's no intellectual or emotional connection then you really have nothing to work with. So I would say that if you feel a deep connection with a guy, don't worry if the physical compatibility isn't there at the beginning. Because my experience has been that if everything else clicks, then eventually the sexual compatibility will follow. With a little time and patience, you can learn what your partner likes.