avoforastig Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 I play on a recreational sport team, which consists mostly of people I know and one of my female friends knows. After a few games, I've talked to one of her friends a couple times and I have the hots for her now. I really want to ask her out for a date but the sport league is still going on for another month. If I wait until the league ends, I'm afraid I'll get put in the friend zone. If I ask her now and she says no, I'm concerned the rest of the league will be awkward. If she said no, I wouldn't be offended or feel awkward myself. Its tricky to get people alone during or after the games. Its been a while since I've met someone in person that I've been excited about though. Any tips on going about this smoothly? Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 If the league's only going on for another month I'd use that time to start flirting with her. Nothing over the top, but you can easily draw her in without getting friend-zoned. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 If the league's only going on for another month I'd use that time to start flirting with her. Nothing over the top, but you can easily draw her in without getting friend-zoned. I agree and this is about the perfect timeframe IMO to invite her to hang out, either in a group or alone where you flirt with her and there is good tension. People who like one another naturally gravitate toward one another and she will find herself talking more to you, spending more time together, even little things add up. Actually with a lot of women (& women you know through friends or a mutual activity) I think this can be the best way. Gives them a moment to accept the idea and want it rather than be put on the spot having never considered you like that. Put in the prep work first. It's fun! Usually for both!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author avoforastig Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 Gives them a moment to accept the idea and want it rather than be put on the spot having never considered you like that. Put in the prep work first. It's fun! Usually for both!! What do you mean by prep work? Just trying to be flirty at our games? I have a feeling there is some mutual attraction and it has me feeling atypically giddy. Do you think I should mention my thoughts to our mutual friend? My mutual friend and I often chat about about our dating lives, which has always been nice getting a view from the opposite sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 What do you mean by prep work? Just trying to be flirty at our games? I have a feeling there is some mutual attraction and it has me feeling atypically giddy. Do you think I should mention my thoughts to our mutual friend? My mutual friend and I often chat about about our dating lives, which has always been nice getting a view from the opposite sex. Prep work: yes be flirty at your games. Plant seeds of the future and deepen conversations, actually hang out besides at the games, plant seeds and be curious about what other things she likes to do--if they are in common, suggest doing them together at some time in the future; if they are something you are not familiar with suggest that she show you the lay of that interest in the near future. IMO, do not involve the mutual friend. Too high school. a real man does not need a friend to intervene for him (and more likely to get messed up than if you just handle it yourself). Plus the good tension will be better when it is your own little brewing secret (halloween reference, you're welcome!). You can only involve the mutual friend if you are asking everyone to hang out after the games, etc or to include in a group outing. Even if he/she pushed for more info or seems to have it figured out, I say don't let them in on it, just arrange the outing. Keep both the good pressure on your crush and bad pressure off of her (by not letting others in on what is going on until you two have it figured out). Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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