Dating Compatibility

[ThorntonMelon]

I have been on and off this board for literally 6 years. Through multiple relationships and divorce and ups and downs.

 

And I have consistently realized that the almost completely consistent thread through all of these posts is that many of us (including me) do not deal well when our dating styles don't mesh.

 

We all have friends whose personalities are different than ours. And it would never phase us much when they would respond to something different than we would.

 

Yet go on a date or two with someone who approaches dating differently (faster, slower, texts more/less) and it's a full blown meltdown for a lot of us (again, including me).

 

I don't have a great answer to this question because it's become a significant issue for me in dating. I am currently seeing someone (a few dates) that has said repeatedly they don't date multiple people, wouldn't have shared what they had with me if they weren't interested, and a couple comments in off moments that show significant interest, yet doesn't really text between dates, language doesn't feel excited, etc.

 

I assure you, I am not overanalyzing whether they like me or not, I take them at their word until they tell me otherwise. But I don't like it. I am way happier dating people who are much more obvious in their interest in me, even though those people haven't been good fits for me.

 

Anyways, this is more just thoughts out loud, but it is interesting to me that a month or two from now, it will not matter how this woman handled early communication (either we will be serious or we will end it or somewhere in between), but how much the lack of understanding the other person is a complete mind-bleep to me and it seems others just from reading posts on here.

 

I have no feel how to manage dating this woman yet she has suggested our next date be at her place cooking. Obviously that's a pretty intimate suggestion that means things are progressing normally and well, but damn, would I not love a couple "im thinking of you" texts, even though I most certainly will not get one.

 

So for those of you equally bugged by feeling crazy in the head through early dating - lets just remember that short term compatibility is not long term compatibility, and thats what we all seek!

[Gaeta]

If you like the occasional surprise-text why not initiate it yourself?

[ThorntonMelon]

Of course - and I'm not suggesting it's a one way street. I just felt it helpful to share experiences that mimic what so many are feeling. I know how to play this out, to wherever it is going to go.