guy45 Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 I've been in a LDR with a woman I met online for about a few weeks. She's nice and all, calls me everyday and we video chat. I really do like her, it's just that sometimes I feel she doesn't like me. When ever I try to have a romantic conversation with her she usually changes topic. If I stop talking to her she'll message me and tell me she misses me a lot etc... I'm 25, and she's 24. What does she want? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 She wants a distraction to ease her boredom & stroke her ego. She doesn't really want romance. She wants entertainment. When are you planning to meet? Until you do this is a pleasant but consuming fantasy. The longer it goes on the more she becomes the person you think she is in your mind & less the person she actually is. If you mention meeting I suspect she will pull away. Continue at your own risk. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy45 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 She wants a distraction to ease her boredom & stroke her ego. She doesn't really want romance. She wants entertainment. When are you planning to meet? Until you do this is a pleasant but consuming fantasy. The longer it goes on the more she becomes the person you think she is in your mind & less the person she actually is. If you mention meeting I suspect she will pull away. Continue at your own risk. "When are you planning to meet?" That's part of the problem, we never even go over things like that. We're just in the moment... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 That is a very bad sign. Any "relationship" that begins on line is doomed to failure / stagnation until it is brought into real life. Real life is the only place it can flourish. Give her an ultimatum -- meet me at a mutually convenient time & place or I'm outta here. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Soo.... It's an online fantasy thing. If you don't meet in person, and if you hit it off have plans to relocate... It will never go anywhere. What do you want from this? A girlfriend you can never kiss, never touch, never really get to know? Don't let this distract you from real life girls that are around you - because all this online thing is, is a distraction. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy45 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 I'd like to meet these people eventually but if they don't even wanna discuss that then surely I'm wasting my time. I guess I'm just desperate for some attention since I've had no luck with anyone local. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Talk to her if it amuses you but don't give your heart away. She will only break it. Keep trying to meet somebody local. What are you doing on that front? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy45 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 Talk to her if it amuses you but don't give your heart away. She will only break it. Keep trying to meet somebody local. What are you doing on that front? I'm using match and okcupid, but no luck. Trying to meet women at school but even that's difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 You claim to be in a LDR - was that something you actually discussed? Did you talk about being exclusive and all that goes with that?? If not, that's your first problem. If yes, and she's still avoiding and redirecting conversation that often goes hand in hand with LDR including plans of meeting face to face, that's an even bigger problem. Don't waste your time with women/girls who aren't reading from the same book never mind the same page as you. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 I really do like her, it's just that sometimes I feel she doesn't like me. When ever I try to have a romantic conversation with her she usually changes topic. Why do you let her change topic? Be bold, be forward. Pin her down on this and force some honesty. Maybe it hurts, but better now than after you get your hopes up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy45 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 She did agree to be exclusive , but this was only because I stopped talking to her, then she started saying she needed me. I just feel that she thinks I'm a fool and is using me to boost her ego. Similar to my ex, couldn't care less about me when I want to talk, but when I leave all of a sudden I'm important again. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 Then press your advantage to get a meeting out of her. You have to do what's best for you in a relationship too. It's not all about pleasing the other person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 "When are you planning to meet?" That's part of the problem, we never even go over things like that. We're just in the moment... If she balks about meeting you, it's a giant red flag with flashing neon lights that spell out "RED FLAG". It means she has something to hide and your "relationship" is exactly what d0nnivain so aptly described. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 And the award for the creepiest/best Halloween themed avatar on LS goes to... That she won't meet you is a HUGE red flag. You need to be assertive. No Nice Guyery. Ask her on a date and if she cancels drop her explaining you're not looking for a pen pal type deal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 She wants a distraction to ease her boredom & stroke her ego. She doesn't really want romance. She wants entertainment. When are you planning to meet? Until you do this is a pleasant but consuming fantasy. The longer it goes on the more she becomes the person you think she is in your mind & less the person she actually is. If you mention meeting I suspect she will pull away. Continue at your own risk. I agree. The few times I even signed up for OLD, I was explicit in the fact that I had no interest in email, text, etc., and wanted to meet in person, and soon. Electronic relationships are some of the most bogus, unfulfilling things to ever partake in. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 And the award for the creepiest/best Halloween themed avatar on LS goes to... Link to post Share on other sites
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