heylovey22 Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 (edited) So starting casually kinda talking to this guy. Started out great. The first night we went out was awesome, a lot of fun, mutual attraction. We talked a ton and laughed, had a great time. Second time the same, and I slept with him. Then he stopped by my new apartment the other night and brought a bottle of wine to celebrate. The thing is, he's so hot and cold it's just starting to annoy me. We've both said that we're not ready for anything serious, but I did make it clear that I like him more than I've liked anyone in a while. Pretty sure he's rather attracted to me too. But he will text me and be sweet and sent kissy faces and call me beautiful one day, and then I don't hear from him the next. At first I was kinda like okay, whatever, it's casual and we'll see what happens... but I'm starting to get bothered by it. When we are together we really enjoy each other's company and talk and laugh, etc. The night he came over with wine at my new apartment, he went out with friends after. I didn't expect to hear from him but then he actually wound up texting me quite a bit that night and was being sweet. Then yesterday morning too... and then he went cold. But we're going to dinner and out to a bar tomorrow night. SO we have plans... but his texting is so cold now. Like "Ok. Talk to you later." Even though I'm not trying to rush into anything at all, it just doesn't add up and it's annoying me. He's 37 so I don't know why he would be playing games. Part of me really wants to ask and then the other part says I should wait it out a little more. Like I said, I know we'll have fun tomorrow and he's very sweet and affectionate when we're actually together, but I can't deal with hot and cold. I don't know if I should wait a little longer or just ask him about it? I'm starting to feel like it's a red flag... Edited October 17, 2017 by heylovey22 Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 From what you've written, sounds like you've only seen him twice with one "date" being at your place, and a third date in the works. The only thing you've mentioned about him being cold is not contacting you every day. That's not really cold, it's reasonable at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heylovey22 Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 This would be the 4th time we spend time. I get what you're saying except that one day he's like "hey beautiful, kissy face, how are you, etc" and then the next day I don't hear from him or his responses are 180 from the previous day. It's been about 2 weeks now. Am I really over thinking it too much? or is it black and white... Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Ok, I see what you're saying. It's normal at this point for a guy not to contact every single day (even though I myself would prefer a guy to from the get-go). So he seems to be a bit over the top at times and distant the next in his communications. From where I am standing, the lovey dovey messages seem a bit insincere, especially since he's not super consistent with it and it's a bit much so soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woon Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 Definitely overthinking it. New Girl used to be exactly the same, was great when we hung out, but would never initiate. The more we hung out the better the communication became. Now its daily kisses/selfies/updates etc. Just give it time, not everyone is big on texting early on. Me included. Link to post Share on other sites
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