bmne90 Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 Met this really shy girl in my college and we hit it off really well; things were going good. A few days ago, we met up to grab lunch at a restaurant on campus. Afterwards, she showed me around the school, since I'm a new student and all. We then went to a packed library, since she needed to study while I had to wait for my next class (I ended up falling asleep lol). But we got to talking and I flirted with her for a bit. We left, I went to class and she went to visit with her department chair. Once my class was over, I texted her to see if she was still at school, but she told me she had to go with her department chair to a meeting at another school, and apologized. So I go home, and we text back and forth the entire time. She then asks if we could grab lunch again but maybe "skip the library part". I said "ok", told her that I'm down to grab lunch anytime since I'm free at noon almost everyday. She then ignores that text lol and only responded to a question I asked her earlier, and seemed like a different person. Since then, she's been very distant, cold, and sends very short, emotionless texts. So what's going on here? And why is she all of a sudden being this new person? Was it something I did or didn't do? Thanks in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 Downshift. You are overwhelming her. You don't know each other well enough to spend every day together. Today is Thursday. reach out on Monday to see if she wants to have lunch next Tuesday or Wednesday. If you are too impatient to do that, ask if there are any good parties or events this weekend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 It would have been better if you had taken the lead and suggested a specific day instead of leaving it open and up to her to continue setting up the date. Since that didn't happen, do as Donnivain suggested. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
swim808 Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 Speaking as a shy college girl myself, I agree with Kamille. If you want to go grab lunch with her, it would've been best right away to suggest a concrete date and time. Personally, had I texted a guy about meeting up for lunch sometime and he never followed up with a specific day and time, I would've assumed he wasn't that into me and then would've backed off. Now whether that's the right or wrong assumption to make, I don't know, but that's just an idea for you on what might be going on in her head. My guess is that if you text her on Sunday and say something like "Hey, how about grabbing lunch on Wednesday at noon?" she'll respond positively and then you should immediately plan with her where you'll be going. If she ignores it or gives a BS excuse why she can't, you'll know she's not interested. Good luck! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 My guess is that if you text her on Sunday and say something like "Hey, how about grabbing lunch on Wednesday at noon?" she'll respond positively and then you should immediately plan with her where you'll be going. If she ignores it or gives a BS excuse why she can't, you'll know she's not interested. Good luck! One caveat: if she responds back with Wednesday doesn't work, how about X instead, that is not a blow off. It's a scheduling issue. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
The Urbanyst Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 What do you want out of this situation? Friends? Sex? Dating? A lot of guys have no guts to just come out and ask a girl out on a date.. so they do this wishy-washy "lets grab lunch" nonsense and timid flirting instead as a way to play it safe. Most women can see right through it. So they might turn cold just to see what you do. Its usually because they don't really know where you stand or what you want. That's why I'm also asking you where you stand and what you want lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 She was probably busy. You said she had another meeting right? stop over analyzing. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 (edited) She asked you out and you said "OK". This shy girl breaks convention and asked you out, Can't you catch the ball a little and say "sounds great. how about x place at x time?" C'mon man. Edited October 12, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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