Redguitar35 Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 So I had to cancel a Saturday date (it was never actually official. I said I had to run some errands that day but I would call soon as I was finished). Anyway I want up with multiple flat tires and had to cancel. But now my girlfriend is no longer responding to my text messages. I guess this means I’m single again?Should I go back to the dating app or give her time? Link to post Share on other sites
krakakos Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 So I had to cancel a Saturday date (it was never actually official. I said I had to run some errands that day but I would call soon as I was finished). Anyway I want up with multiple flat tires and had to cancel. But now my girlfriend is no longer responding to my text messages. I guess this means I’m single again?Should I go back to the dating app or give her time? She's obviously mad at you for cancelling. Did you explain to her why you had to cancel? Did you plan a date for some other time? If you did those things, then she's being very selfish, but I don't think it's over. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 It depends upon how you did the canceling. Did you offer a raincheck for another day? Did you wait to cancel til right before you had the date to tell her about these flat tyres and errands? Sometimes, the way you do things can leave a bad taste in people's mouths. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 She's obviously mad at you for cancelling. Did you explain to her why you had to cancel? Did you plan a date for some other time? If you did those things, then she's being very selfish, but I don't think it's over. I did, I told her I had 3 flat tires which set back all the business I had to do that day that couldn’t be rescheduled, which was the truth. Then I sad we might have to reschedule for tomorrow. No reply. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Have you cancelled on her before? I noticed you had a previous thread about her possibly slipping away so I sense something has been brewing for a while now and its just not about this one incident? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 Have you cancelled on her before? I noticed you had a previous thread about her possibly slipping away so I sense something has been brewing for a while now and its just not about this one incident? First off, interesting screen name haha. Never cancelled before. There was a problem with her thinking I was cheating a couple of months ago (which wasn’t true) And after we clear the air on that things seem to go pretty fine. She had come over and spend the night with me just last weekend. I did notice weird stuff about her during the three months we dated. She had really bad road rage (I hated riding in the car with her). And she was really passionate about college football to the point where she would curse viciously at the television during games. It’s possible she has anger management issues (none directly at me that I saw) so maybe I’m better off not knowing her. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
viatori patuit Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 My experience with anyone is that road rage is a huge red flag. Being upset on the road on occasion is normal, but to the point you don’t want to drive with her? NFW..... I would run. 3 months in is not all that long. Imagine what it will be like in a few years. Curious if she has ever apologized to you? That is also a pretty big red flag. Apologies go a long way with me. Knowing you were wrong and admitting it is really important to me. Whenever I screw up I go out of my way to apologize. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyLove Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 If you are immediately thinking about going back to a dating app just bc your girlfriend didn't reply about rescheduling for the next day you are definitely not that into her. And if you are, don't go on a dating app bc you are not ready to date. You will most likely be bringing drama into your life since things aren't even resolved with your current gf. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 You had arranged to meet and you haven't yet? You haven't met but you call her your gf? I am confused on that point. However, yes, tell her somehow. Also, are you communicating just through the dating app or do you have her cell? This is not a good sign to me if and when the man doesn't offer his cell to me beyond the dating app when I have met them off the dating app. It means that he's keeping a double distance between me and him for a reason. I've done very little OLD with an app (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) but results were the same as other websites. App based ones are ... Even more questionable than the others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyRose Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 You had arranged to meet and you haven't yet? You haven't met but you call her your gf? I am confused on that point. However, yes, tell her somehow. Also, are you communicating just through the dating app or do you have her cell? This is not a good sign to me if and when the man doesn't offer his cell to me beyond the dating app when I have met them off the dating app. It means that he's keeping a double distance between me and him for a reason. I've done very little OLD with an app (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) but results were the same as other websites. App based ones are ... Even more questionable than the others. You are super confused I agree. Where did you get the idea they never met and wonders if they only communicate through the dating app? They have been seeing each other for almost 3 months now in which if I consider his other post in September saying theyve been going out for a month, would mean it's only been 2 months. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyRose Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 So I had to cancel a Saturday date (it was never actually official. I said I had to run some errands that day but I would call soon as I was finished). Anyway I want up with multiple flat tires and had to cancel. But now my girlfriend is no longer responding to my text messages. I guess this means I’m single again?Should I go back to the dating app or give her time? Your thread back on Sept 15th (I believe it was) you said you've only been seeing her for a month so it's really been 2 months, no? Anyway, I noticed you have lots of doubts but I think it's not solely because of what she's doing. You said you are better with one night stands and have no luck in relationship. Do you know my bf used to disappear on me for a day or two where he didn't call or text? Of course it drove me nuts but I didn't take it as we had broken up. What's really the reason why you think she may be done with you? Granted she ignored you for 2 days or maybe 3, but you are quick to assume you are now single and wanting to jump right back in to the dating app. If she really broke up with you, It may be best to work on yourself first and then date again. I don't see much confidence in you and you're quite negative. Work on those first and then work on being in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 If you are immediately thinking about going back to a dating app just bc your girlfriend didn't reply about rescheduling for the next day you are definitely not that into her. And if you are, don't go on a dating app bc you are not ready to date. You will most likely be bringing drama into your life since things aren't even resolved with your current gf. I’m not that into anybody to be honest. I used to get very upset and depressed when relationship ended but now I can move on pretty quickly because there is always someone else out there. I don’t get strung out over one person anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 Your thread back on Sept 15th (I believe it was) you said you've only been seeing her for a month so it's really been 2 months, no? Anyway, I noticed you have lots of doubts but I think it's not solely because of what she's doing. You said you are better with one night stands and have no luck in relationship. Do you know my bf used to disappear on me for a day or two where he didn't call or text? Of course it drove me nuts but I didn't take it as we had broken up. What's really the reason why you think she may be done with you? Granted she ignored you for 2 days or maybe 3, but you are quick to assume you are now single and wanting to jump right back in to the dating app. If she really broke up with you, It may be best to work on yourself first and then date again. I don't see much confidence in you and you're quite negative. Work on those first and then work on being in a relationship. I think it’s over because this is a huge departure in our communication patterns. Usually she calls me and we talk on the phone every day or at least text. So her not responding for three days is quite a departure.Anyway there is a part of me that misses having one night stands with a different person every week, so maybe us going our separate ways could be for the best. I’m all right with someone breaking up with me, but it would be nice to have some communication instead of being ghosted on, no one Deserves that, especially since we’ve been dating almost 3 months. That’s my only complaint. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 What do you want? Does this relationship make you happy? Is it worth your while? It doesn't sound like it, but this could be you protecting yourself. It sounds like you don't care about her. Do you? Do you want to work things out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 What do you want? Does this relationship make you happy? Is it worth your while? It doesn't sound like it, but this could be you protecting yourself. It sounds like you don't care about her. Do you? Do you want to work things out? I guess I was happy when I was with her, but that’s up to her. If she wants to break up that’s fine, I’m not going to put any effort into changing her mind just so I won’t be single. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 Why not try to be double right now? What do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 You sound like you are not really at a stage in your life that you can be bothered with relationships so stop wasting a woman's time and just keep on doing your weekly one night stand which seem to give you so much joy. If you are lacklustre in relationships, you tend to get lack-lustre back. I guess this woman felt she was getting back very little in return from you, and the "cancelling" was the last straw. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 You sound like you are not really at a stage in your life that you can be bothered with relationships so stop wasting a woman's time and just keep on doing your weekly one night stand which seem to give you so much joy. If you are lacklustre in relationships, you tend to get lack-lustre back. I guess this woman felt she was getting back very little in return from you, and the "cancelling" was the last straw. You think that ghosting is OK?If a person in the relationship is not happy with how things are going they should discuss it like adults, not just ghost and disappear. If that’s the person she is, then I don’t need her. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 You think that ghosting is OK?If a person in the relationship is not happy with how things are going they should discuss it like adults, not just ghost and disappear. If that’s the person she is, then I don’t need her. But the question is: IS that the kind of person she is? Usually she calls me and we talk on the phone every day or at least text. So her not responding for three days is quite a departure. Anyway there is a part of me that misses having one night stands with a different person every week. It sounds like she powered down because of your disinterest and you just now caught on. Your interest is peaked only because the low interest you've put forth so far is now giving you your actual ROI, and its value has been inflated for you up til now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 You think that ghosting is OK?If a person in the relationship is not happy with how things are going they should discuss it like adults, not just ghost and disappear. If that’s the person she is, then I don’t need her. Ghosting is fairly common. People often can't be bothered discussing it, as far as they are concerned it is just over, done, gone, finito, sometimes they don't want to be "persuaded" into continuing it either or get into never ending arguments, sometimes they just don't want to show their vulnerable side, sometimes they are so angry they know they will lose it and so do not want to go there, and sometimes they are literally terrified about the reaction they will get if they say they are going to end it. Not probably very "adult", but sometimes it is for the best and understandable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Who cancels a date because of flat tires?? Last time I had a flat tire it took me 20 minutes and it was fixed, I stopped at a gas station to fill it with air enough to make it to my mechanic shop, my mechanical fixed it for $15 and I was back on the road. If a flat tire doesn't keep me from shopping it should not keep you from going on a date. If EVER it was impossible to fix your tires you could have asked HER to pick you up for your date!! You could have borrowed a friend's car!! You could have used public transportation!! You could have asked a ride from a family member!! If someone had cancelled on me because of a flat tire then I wouldn't want to date him. If a flat tire is enough to disrupt your life then you're not equipped for the bigger life stuff coming your way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyLove Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I’m not that into anybody to be honest. I used to get very upset and depressed when relationship ended but now I can move on pretty quickly because there is always someone else out there. I don’t get strung out over one person anymore. That seems like a pretty good attitude to have (knowing there is always someone else out there). Just make sure you are not holding your feelings back because of past relationship fails and you are afraid of getting hurt. For a really deep connection (if that's what you want) you do have to have some vulnerability. Good Luck! Keep us updated! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 Ghosting is fairly common. People often can't be bothered discussing it, as far as they are concerned it is just over, done, gone, finito, sometimes they don't want to be "persuaded" into continuing it either or get into never ending arguments, sometimes they just don't want to show their vulnerable side, sometimes they are so angry they know they will lose it and so do not want to go there, and sometimes they are literally terrified about the reaction they will get if they say they are going to end it. Not probably very "adult", but sometimes it is for the best and understandable. Meaning, you don’t have a problem with ghosting. I do and I don’t want to date someone who thinks it’s okay to treat somebody like that. Good riddance. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Meaning, you don’t have a problem with ghosting. I do and I don’t want to date someone who thinks it’s okay to treat somebody like that. Good riddance. To put it into a little perspective, most people who ignore rather than break up usually have had very uncomfortable experiences in the past breaking it off with someone. They can even have been insulted, , bombarded with questions about what went wrong, pleads to reconsider. And the person is still hurt.There's no fun way to let someone down unless you are a cruel person. Ignoring seems merciful to both people because it avoids having to have the rejection talk . And if you recognize being ignored for what it is, a rejection, it isn't a whole lot different than verbalizing it I guess... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 But the question is: IS that the kind of person she is? It sounds like she powered down because of your disinterest and you just now caught on. Your interest is peaked only because the low interest you've put forth so far is now giving you your actual ROI, and its value has been inflated for you up til now. Not really, I’ll just find another girl soon enough. No big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
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