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Should Men Wait For Encouragement From a Woman?


Soccer1986

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If a man meets a woman and has an interest in her and if she is single should be wait for encouragement/buying signals before asking her out? Why or why not?

 

I am starting to think that if I meet a woman and as long as it is not someone I work with then I'll ask her out and see what happens whether I'm getting encouragement or not. I will ask one time only. If nothing else hearing a rejection from her directly after asking her out will help me to move on.

 

Now when it comes to meeting women at the workplace that's a different set of rules. I'm of the belief that it's usually not a good idea to date women at my job whether company policy permits it or not. However if I'm going to date a female colleague then it's a better setup if she asks me out since asking her out puts me at risk for sexual harassment charge. So ultimately women from work are off limits because it's unlikely they're going to ask me out anyway.

 

Outside of workplace don't wait for encouragement. Asking her out doesn't mean the answer will be yes. I acknowledge that a woman does not have any moral obligation to reward me with a date just because I mustered up the courage to ask her out directly. Not only that I expect to get a no more often than a yes because I'm not a high status celebrity in society. I'm not that important. I will ask women out because I never know when I will meet one who will say yes.

Edited by Soccer1986
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I have always waited for a sign of interest from a girl before engaging in conversation with her. It is much easier and less time consuming than wasting your time going from girl to girl all night. Starting out with a girl that has shown an interest in you is half way there.

 

It could be a glance, a smile, touching your arm/leg when she talks to you, smiling at you and laughing at your stupid jokes. I could just tell and I cannot remember being rejected by a girl who showed an interest in me.

 

I saw my wife on a train and caught her looking at me. I got up from my seat and walked over to her to ask her for a match. Back in the old days you could smoke anywhere anytime. Asking for a light or a cigarette were classic pickup lines in my time. We started to talk and 3 weeks later we were engaged and have been married 45 years this month. All because I looked for a sign of interest from girls around me.

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If a man meets a woman and has an interest in her and if she is single should be wait for encouragement/buying signals before asking her out? Why or why not?

 

I am starting to think that if I meet a woman and as long as it is not someone I work with then I'll ask her out and see what happens whether I'm getting encouragement or not. I will ask one time only. If nothing else hearing a rejection from her directly after asking her out will help me to move on.

 

Now when it comes to meeting women at the workplace that's a different set of rules. I'm of the belief that it's usually not a good idea to date women at my job whether company policy permits it or not. However if I'm going to date a female colleague then it's a better setup if she asks me out since asking her out puts me at risk for sexual harassment charge. So ultimately women from work are off limits because it's unlikely they're going to ask me out anyway.

 

Outside of workplace don't wait for encouragement. Asking her out doesn't mean the answer will be yes. I acknowledge that a woman does not have any moral obligation to reward me with a date just because I mustered up the courage to ask her out directly. Not only that I expect to get a no more often than a yes because I'm not a high status celebrity in society. I'm not that important. I will ask women out because I never know when I will meet one who will say yes.

 

Why you think like that.. Just say hey after work you want to go grab breakfast with me. That's it.. Talk and see where you to are at breakfast. That's what I did with the woman I know at work. I try to find out if they're seeing someone, living with someone into men not into women, and not married. I do this first no matter how many weeks it takes once the dust settle I ask them out for breakfast or lunch. If they say yes or don't try to brush me off. At work I get the comment from two managers I am a ladies man. But I work hard I don't chase women at work. I actually work. I am very friendly guy. I try to help everyone and motivate them to work harder. I also help train new employees. A lot of high-five today! But again you are working too much into this saying things about harassment. Your not doing anything like that would you at work. Just be social with some grace.

Edited by coolheadal
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You missed the real reason you shouldn't date coworkers....what if the relationship goes sour?, and there is a bad vibe between you? She could start dating someone right in front of you while you have a broken heart or she sabotages any potential date from another coworker by spreading rumors about you, etc. It can cost you your job, due to interrupted productivity, hostile work environment, it effects other coworkers, and the gossip doesn't help things.

 

As for waiting for signals, you can, but you don't have to. Sometimes confidence pleasantly surprises women, it flatters them, and there is nothing more sexier than confidence. BUT there is a difference between "mustering up the courage" and confidence in itself. If you are not smooth on your approach, it can come off as creepy, or off. Women get turned off by nervous, hand sweating nellies.

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staggerlee71

In my experience, if I strike up a conversation with a women, she will be giving buying signals immediately if interested. The fact that you engage a total stranger and she reciprocates, is a good start. just look for a combination of signals and then ask.

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TunaInTheBrine
If a man meets a woman and has an interest in her and if she is single should be wait for encouragement/buying signals before asking her out? Why or why not?

 

No. As a man, it is your duty to be a leader and take initiative. If you're interested in someone, be direct and tell them you'd like to learn more about them over a drink.

 

Assuming it's a coworker you're interested in, same approach applies. Being interested in someone isn't sexual harassment. Acting sexually inappropriate and creating a hostile work environment is sexual harassment. There's nothing inappropriate about being curious about someone. But a word of caution, I don't advise dating coworkers. Rarely does it ever work (no pun intended).

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Woah, your story is amazing - 3 weeks to engagement after cold approach ?! I've heard stories of fast engagements but usually either set up by parents (like in India) or old friends.

 

How long did you take before marrying your then fiance? Did you compensate with long engagement? It is great it worked out for you two.

 

On OP's question: I'm pretty shy so at work I'd NOT show interest unless the guy somehow expresses his interest first. I'm pretty damn good at disguising my interest which backfires ... So my advice to OP, if he likes shy girls, is to initiate, even without a sign of interest. Otherwise he may miss good chances.

 

I have always waited for a sign of interest from a girl before engaging in conversation with her. It is much easier and less time consuming than wasting your time going from girl to girl all night. Starting out with a girl that has shown an interest in you is half way there.

 

It could be a glance, a smile, touching your arm/leg when she talks to you, smiling at you and laughing at your stupid jokes. I could just tell and I cannot remember being rejected by a girl who showed an interest in me.

 

I saw my wife on a train and caught her looking at me. I got up from my seat and walked over to her to ask her for a match. Back in the old days you could smoke anywhere anytime. Asking for a light or a cigarette were classic pickup lines in my time. We started to talk and 3 weeks later we were engaged and have been married 45 years this month. All because I looked for a sign of interest from girls around me.

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100% of my good relationships have come from me indicating to the guy that I had an interest in them right at the beginning.

100% of my terrible relationships or encounters have been me showing no initial indication of any interest.

 

So ,yeah, I can see how Steve's situation would pan out as well as it has.

She indicated first and he read the signal perfectly. :)

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If a man meets a woman and has an interest in her and if she is single should be wait for encouragement/buying signals before asking her out? Why or why not?

 

No.

 

He should step up to her with confidence and ask her out. If she is interested, she will say yes and go out with him.

 

Anything other than yes is no interest and he should drop it and move on.

 

If she says yes, then calls/texts back and cancels, there is no interest and she should go on block.

 

You can be waiting til hell freezes over for her to develop enough interest.

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