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Hard to read her


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 6th October 2017, 7:45 PM   #1
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Hard to read her

Hi everyone,

I met a coworker in my previous job and I was kinda attracted to her without really showing it.

We became friends and she gave me her phone number without me asking for it. She used to talk to me everyday and we even hung out once after work together just to grab a coffee and talked for 2-3 hours in a restaurant/bar.

Most of my colleagues were saying that she's into me but I never really thought she was, I think she is just being friendly. After a few weeks of contact, she started calling me "baby", "my love", "honey", etc. Maybe it's only being friendly as well but I never had a female friend calling me like that.

The thing is, because of all that, I became more and more attracted and asked her several times if she wanted to hang out after work. Most of the times she said that she doesn't have time nor the availabilty.

Being sick of getting denied all the times, I stopped asking her. And then on my last day of my previous job, she said that she wanted to meet me in her town and that I can even come and see her new apartment. We agreed on a date but then nothing happened. She forgot or had no time...

That wasn't the first time and I told her about it. She apologized and said that she is really busy and she has the same issue with other "friends". She doesn't have time to see them.

Well as we say, if you want to see someone, you make time for it. Since then, I've been avoiding contacting her because nothing comes out of it.

Do you think that I should try again to schedule something with her or just forget about it and live on ?

Thanks !
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Old 6th October 2017, 7:57 PM   #2
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No, leave her be....dude it's right in your face....she's into attention and getting it. That's all she's about. She has no interest in you sexually or romantically. Just stop it.
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Old 6th October 2017, 8:25 PM   #3
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Let it go. You are correct, she could make the time, and the other reality is, she shouldn't be pursuing, hinting, hitting the dating sites, or anything indicative of wanting a relationship if she simply doesn't have the time to invest.

Let's look at another angle. She meets you! Yay! Things go well, and you might even get a second date the next week! Yay! And then she drops off the planet again, as she's busy. She sporadically gives you attention a week, a month later, and you think things are finally moving forward, and you text and/or call, try to plan, expect to see her, and you do once or twice, and then she stops responding, or is slow to respond and evasive. Your thoughts on getting together Friday/Saturday are dashed, and you even avoided making plans with other friends or taking on a new date because you were sure you would be seeing this coworker on Friday or Saturday. She'll pop back in, and pop back out.

Just don't.

If she contacts you, and you want to give it a go, by all means, try, but when she drops out again, you'll have your answer...she can't/doesn't want a relationship, is not interested, likes the attention, or maybe she doesn't know what she wants, so she runs away the second a guy shows interest.

So don't.

You have extended yourself already and even told her how her behavior affects you and is confusing, and she hasn't changed her behavior, so let it go.
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Old 6th October 2017, 8:55 PM   #4
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When she said she doesn't have the time, LISTEN TO HER! She telling you this:

1. I am not interested in you!
2. I do not want to go out with you!
3. Even if she tries to set a time she changes it or doesn't show up for some odd excuse.

To Answer 3, would mean she's either playing mind games, stringing you along, or just have her way with you! Because she can keep you at bay and still have you on edge of you feet in hopes you will continue. She has something to think about abut she clearly not into you.

So what should you do, NOTHING BECAUSE SHE'S NOT INTO YOU!
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Old 6th October 2017, 11:45 PM   #5
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If she was interested in dating you she'd accept your date request. It's really that simple
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Old 7th October 2017, 6:37 AM   #6
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Thanks guys for your feedback.
Too bad she was funny and quite pretty...

But you're right, it's plain and simple, I jus't don't like the fact that she's playing mind games but well, can't be helped.
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