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Going to a bar alone to meet guys


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Old 6th October 2017, 7:49 PM   #31
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When I see a woman alone in a bar, I assume she is waiting for friends, or perhaps killing time. I think the idea that she might be a "prostitute" is somewhat ridiculous; it's mostly in the movies (and foreign countries) that prostitutes wait at the bar. I have never seen that in the US, and I doubt there are many people who have been to as many different bars as I have.
Come to Vancouver. There were hookers trying to work the club I worked in years ago, and I have seen them downtown Vancouver (they do get kicked out), lots of escorts hitting the dance clubs here. You can tell who they are.

And wow have you not been to Vegas?? They are everywhere.
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Old 6th October 2017, 7:54 PM   #32
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Different strokes for different folks.

I usually very quickly find a stranger to chat with. I love meeting people and talking with humans from all walks of life.

Business trip? One evening talked all night with a man who reminded me of my father. Sometimes I meet cute young bloods, other times some professional on the road as well.

I go out by myself probably once a month. Usually when the Mr is out of town on business, or I am out of town doing the same.

Truthfully I really enjoyed talking with men, it's rare I meet a female while out, but it happens on occasion as well.

I have met men I would be interested in dating.... If I was dating.

I love the freedom of going out alone, going where the wind takes me, no one to confir with first.

Knock on wood, never have gotten into any sort of "trouble" - sure I have had to tell a drunk dude to BEAT IT while I waited for an Uber etc... But I have never been in a scary situation.

Never been mistaken for a working girl either....

Edited to add. I DO NOT go to "clubs". Beer bars, classy cocktail lounges, financial district bars.

Clubs are totally a different scene - not for me, often very sleazy.

Last edited by RecentChange; 6th October 2017 at 7:56 PM..
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Old 6th October 2017, 8:01 PM   #33
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Omg Iím sorry but are we really saying that women that go to bars by themselves look like prostitutes? LOL.

Idk where yíall live but it is not weird or unsafe or unheard of where Iím at for women to go enjoy a drink by herself. Nor is it strange in the various cities Iíve travelled for work. Itís better than hanging out by myself in a hotel room. And I donít think that makes me attention seeking...and if a guy is gonna see me alone and think Iím an alcoholic or prostitute I donít wanna talk to him anyway!
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Old 6th October 2017, 8:53 PM   #34
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I used to go to bars alone when I didn't have someone to go with (male or female friend). Once, about 10 years ago now that I think of it, I was at a bar with a guy friend. He said he was going to go to the bathroom then we would leave. I sat alone at a bar stool and watched people around me, minding my own business, not saying anything to anyone. Then this guy comes up to me, leans in and says "Don't look so sad, someday some man will come along and he'll treat you nice and make you happy." I looked at him, then he walked away. I was blown away because I must look so sad.

And it's 10 years later and ... Nothing's changed. If anything I'm even more isolated than I was then. It's what it is.
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Old 6th October 2017, 9:19 PM   #35
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OP is not doing it on principle or because she enjoys it though, she is doing it because she thinks it will be easier to attract guys. I think the type of attention and from who is what will be in question here. It's awkward where I'm at but yes you will get attention because you're advertising for it. Not all attn is good attn though. I think she will have better luck bringing a friend or two and being more open and having fun. Maybe even approaching men herself which is going outside social norm but less so than sitting alone drinking waiting for guys to approach Jmo
I agree with you point here! But I am from NYC and it's not right way to go about it she should really bring another single female friend who wants a guy too. Buying them drinks is okay OP can spend some money on the guy at the bar if she wants too. Talk and get to know each other exchange phone numbers and go to a better club to dance with her friend too.
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Old 6th October 2017, 9:39 PM   #36
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I only go to a bar alone when I am traveling and yes, they descend like flies but usually not the type I would go for.

I have also experienced meeting up with a date at a bar and sitting at a table. When the date leaves to go to the toilet, a random guy would attempt to sit down and chat me up or give me his number in his absence.

That was in the previous city I lived in though - current city is dead and there is barely any people anywhere

It's hugely city dependent.
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Old 6th October 2017, 10:05 PM   #37
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I used to go to bars alone when I didn't have someone to go with (male or female friend). Once, about 10 years ago now that I think of it, I was at a bar with a guy friend. He said he was going to go to the bathroom then we would leave. I sat alone at a bar stool and watched people around me, minding my own business, not saying anything to anyone. Then this guy comes up to me, leans in and says "Don't look so sad, someday some man will come along and he'll treat you nice and make you happy." I looked at him, then he walked away. I was blown away because I must look so sad.

And it's 10 years later and ... Nothing's changed. If anything I'm even more isolated than I was then. It's what it is.
damn, you sound like me... isolated and often look sad.
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Old 6th October 2017, 10:24 PM   #38
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I used to go to bars alone when I didn't have someone to go with (male or female friend). Once, about 10 years ago now that I think of it, I was at a bar with a guy friend. He said he was going to go to the bathroom then we would leave. I sat alone at a bar stool and watched people around me, minding my own business, not saying anything to anyone. Then this guy comes up to me, leans in and says "Don't look so sad, someday some man will come along and he'll treat you nice and make you happy." I looked at him, then he walked away. I was blown away because I must look so sad.

And it's 10 years later and ... Nothing's changed. If anything I'm even more isolated than I was then. It's what it is.
Wow! Why so sad? Cheerup my dear you need to be happy (positive energy) even smile instead of frown. I drove through OH a few weeks was it cold or what. Anyway your never alone here we're always here all us!
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Old 6th October 2017, 10:33 PM   #39
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If you are insecure, naive, or terribly uncomfortable doing things on your own, it's probably not for you.
I am not insecure, naive or uncomfortable doing things on my own and I won't go to bars on my own for common sense reasons. Maybe we don't have the same type of 'bars'. To me, and many people where I am from a 'bar' is a pick up place. A woman sitting on her own at a bar is looking to be picked up. That's how it's perceived here. Might be a Canadian thing, smackie and I have the same opinions on 'bars'.

So if where OP comes from it's pretty normal to go alone in a bar then by all means.

By the way, where I am, if a man shows up alone at a bar, he's pretty much a p&g looking to get laid. The judgment is not only on women alone in bars but on men as well.
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Old 6th October 2017, 11:02 PM   #40
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Iíll go to a bar alone sometimes.

Usually its either after work (so I am in professional attire), or perhaps I am killing some time before meeting my husband or some friends.

I know they call my hometown ďMan JoseĒ because there are so many young, professional, single men hereÖ.
damn...I am going to "Man Jose" if they don't extend my consulting contract.

not even caring about getting permanent gov job anymore. women way out numbered men in my city.

I should have went long ago though
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Old 6th October 2017, 11:05 PM   #41
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oh, ya, French/Montreal guys seems flirty and bold, unlike the ones here...should have moved there as well.
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Old 7th October 2017, 5:49 AM   #42
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I'm a woman & I have gone to bars alone in NYC. I've been hit on. I have never been mistaken for a prostitute. I have also been left alone when I sent out a vibe that screamed, I'm here for the wine; talk to me at your own risk. Part of it is how you carry yourself.

Drunk & sloppy alone in a bar does equal danger but 1-2 drinks in a nice place, especially if you are somewhat of a regular does not carry the sexist stigma it used to & that is being advanced here.

There is also a big difference between sitting there, perhaps smiling & having a friendly conversation vs. shamelessly falling all over a stranger & practically mauling them.
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Old 7th October 2017, 10:31 PM   #43
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Totally awkward. A woman.....sitting alone.....a guy is going to wonder if you are a workin gal, an alcoholic, desperate for someone, attention........

You are more approachable if you are with one, not a group. Find a wing man and have fun.
I wouldn't say it's awkward as I think that's an unfair double standard to put on a woman if she was having a glass of wine alone. Men don't seem to get painted as desperate or an alcoholic if they sit alone in bars so I'm not too concerned about that. If a man will judge me for that then I wouldn't want to keep his company anyway.
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Old 7th October 2017, 10:33 PM   #44
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I'm sure some people can pull it off, but I know I'd feel uncomfortable and if it's outside your comfort zone it's hard to look like you're having a good time. Plus, like smackie said, people draw conclusions about you when youre a femalle sitting at a bar alone and you might attract the wrong people. Do what feels natural. I say bring a friend but be more flirty and approachable
I know where you're both coming from, but I have the confidence to pull it off without acting awkward or desperate. I don't think in this day and age it should be taboo for a woman to meet people, unless she's unsafe and a drunken mess while doing so which I can assure I won't be.
Good perspectives though.
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Old 7th October 2017, 10:43 PM   #45
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That's cliche sexist way of thinking, no?
I always see men sitting alone in bars, do I assume they are 'working men'?
No!
Why? Because I don't judge.

If someone things I am a 'working girl' or 'alcoholic' if I sit in a bar alone, then let them have it. I do not need to succumb to such primitive, backward ways of thinking. This is 2017.
A girl should be able to enjoy a drink by herself.

OP, what I do sometimes is sit in a bar with a book or a magazine. I have a subscription to the Atlantic, I frequently read it whilst having a gin at my favorite local bar.

But here in Western Europe, a woman sitting alone in a bar enjoying her solitude, is not an uncommon thing...
I tend to agree with you. Women are people, we are allowed to have a drink. I personally wouldn't want to associate with men who will judge me simply for sitting at a bar as if I'm not as entitled to be there. Hardly anything to base a friendship on. I won't sit there and stare into mid air, I will have work documents with me so I can 'look' over those like I have a purpose.
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