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Third wheel on second date.


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Old 6th October 2017, 1:52 AM   #1
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Third wheel on second date.

I met a girl on OKC Tuesday night and we really hit it off. We met for drinks at 6:30 and that turned into dinner, more drinks, walking to another bar for a nightcap until 11:30. I walked her back to her car and she offered to give me a ride to my car which was a bit further. That was an obvious que for me to initiate a make out session so I know she's interested. Wednesday we exchanged texts but we kept missing each other and it was hours between replies. So I didn't get around to asking her for a second date until today (Thursday). I'm booked solid this weekend and next so I had little option but to invite her to my gig tomorrow night and then go for a late dinner and drinks after. From my past experience a woman will only accept a date that is in less than 24-hours if is VERY interested. They would rather make up an excuse that they are busy, even if they are going to sit at home. Anyway she accepted but in the oddest manner "My friend from the Czech Republic is visiting. Would you mind if HE came?"

I can't imagine I'm being friendzone... The most logical explanation would be that she really likes me but she is obligated to chaperone her friend. I said it was "no problem" but I dunno if I'd rather that she decline. Anyway, it's happening and I'm going to have to get her friend's stamp of approval. I feel like it's going to be an interview. I just hope he's not secretly in love with her and will thus sabotage my chances...
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Old 6th October 2017, 4:26 AM   #2
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What do you mean that her offering to drive you to your car was an" obvious queue for a make out session? " Did you make out with her? And if not, why?

But to address your question, I have no clue what that's about. It's odd behavior.

Maybe she needs to entertain her guest for a few days, but she really wants to see you ?

That puts both of you in a odd position though for a second date. . . It's just odd
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Old 6th October 2017, 4:30 AM   #3
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She just wants you to buy a meal for her boyfriend.

Forget about this one. It's already gone south.

Next.
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Old 6th October 2017, 8:27 AM   #4
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I don't see anything wrong.


Her friend is visiting, she had plans but is trying to work you into them and entertain her friend by going to the gig. Seems pretty simple to me.


Plus you went on ONE date so far so I doubt this ruins your chance. I must point out that I was also put off by your driving to the car comment as "an obvious que for me to initiate a make out session". A woman sneezes and a guy thinks that is a clue for him to come on to her. You said your car was further away so I think she was just being polite.


I think you assume to know more about women than you actually do.
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Old 6th October 2017, 8:46 AM   #5
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I'm mostly concerned with drinks and more drinks followed by you both driving yourselves home
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Old 6th October 2017, 8:57 AM   #6
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I must point out that I was also put off by your driving to the car comment as "an obvious que for me to initiate a make out session". A woman sneezes and a guy thinks that is a clue for him to come on to her. You said your car was further away so I think she was just being polite.


I think you assume to know more about women than you actually do.
No - I think actions like that are not so subtle ques and I can't remember the last time I was rejected when I made an advance. If I ask "Would you like to go someplace else for a night cap?" that means I'm interested in you but am giving you an easy out. "Yes" means "I'm interested and you should probably go for a kiss later". If she says "Would you like to come over and meet my dog?" (I've gotten this one twice in the last 12 months), that means "Let's hookup". If my car is barely a block away and she offers to give me a ride, that is an invitation to be alone and intimate with an almost complete stranger. I took it as a que to make a move and we did make out...
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Old 6th October 2017, 8:59 AM   #7
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I'm mostly concerned with drinks and more drinks followed by you both driving yourselves home
She had 2 drinks in 5 hours. One at each bar. I had 4. I barely had a buzz.
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Old 6th October 2017, 9:03 AM   #8
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What do you mean that her offering to drive you to your car was an" obvious queue for a make out session? " Did you make out with her? And if not, why?

But to address your question, I have no clue what that's about. It's odd behavior.

Maybe she needs to entertain her guest for a few days, but she really wants to see you ?

That puts both of you in a odd position though for a second date. . . It's just odd
Yes we did make out and I think it is odd. I guess I also put her in a weird position. Seeing someone perform in their band is an awful second date. You barely know each other and you're barely able to talk for much of the night. I usually never invite a girl until we've slept together. But I really didn't see any other opportunity to see her for a couple weeks and I would rather have less than ideal circumstances for a second date than to not see her at all. I just didn't expect it to be this weird when I decided to ask...
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Old 6th October 2017, 9:19 AM   #9
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I have mixed feelings about this. Since you invited her to your gig, as opposed to a date, wanting to bring a friend along doesn't seem strange at all to me. I probably wouldn't want to sit there by myself watching a guy I've been on one date with play in a band. So, from that sense, her asking if he could come doesn't seem that strange to me, and it would be logical that he would join you afterward, since he was already there.

But if you are uncomfortable with it, just suggest a different time, when you can actually spend the evening with her.
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Old 6th October 2017, 9:27 AM   #10
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Seeing you at your gig isn't exactly a date, so I can see why she would bring along a friend. Invite a few lady friends to join you guys so this friend can enjoy himself with new female company.
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Old 6th October 2017, 9:35 AM   #11
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Seeing you at your gig isn't exactly a date, so I can see why she would bring along a friend. Invite a few lady friends to join you guys so this friend can enjoy himself with new female company.
I know. So I made it clear that I wanted to have dinner or drinks with her after. I guess I create a slightly awkward situation and she made it even more awkward. Maybe it'll work out great...
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Old 6th October 2017, 10:12 AM   #12
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Yes we did make out and I think it is odd. I guess I also put her in a weird position. Seeing someone perform in their band is an awful second date. You barely know each other and you're barely able to talk for much of the night. I usually never invite a girl until we've slept together. But I really didn't see any other opportunity to see her for a couple weeks and I would rather have less than ideal circumstances for a second date than to not see her at all. I just didn't expect it to be this weird when I decided to ask...
Ohhh you didn't explain your second date was at one of your gigs. Within that context, it makes a little more sense. She doesn't want to go to a show alone so she's bringing a friend. Why it's a man is the confusing part but I guess why not.
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Old 6th October 2017, 10:26 AM   #13
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As a woman, I dont find her response weird or odd for two reasons:

1. She has a friend coming from Czech visiting her. She cant just dump her friend to go to your gig, but still want to see you, so she brings her friend along.


2. It's SECOND date and it's not done in a private setting. She doesn't know anyone and maybe doesn't even like your music. It makes sense to bring some friends along.

If I were her, I would do the same! I'm sure all of my girl friends could do the same too
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Old 6th October 2017, 10:30 AM   #14
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If I had to entertain a guest from out of town, I would postpone the date with the guy from okcupid, if only for the comfort of the friend. It can be awkward to some to be third wheel, especially another MAN? Especially since they're going to dinner after?!?


I mean a date with a guy I just met from okcupid is not that important it can't wait a day or week
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Old 6th October 2017, 10:33 AM   #15
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I don't see anything wrong.


Her friend is visiting, she had plans but is trying to work you into them and entertain her friend by going to the gig. Seems pretty simple to me.


Plus you went on ONE date so far so I doubt this ruins your chance. I must point out that I was also put off by your driving to the car comment as "an obvious que for me to initiate a make out session". A woman sneezes and a guy thinks that is a clue for him to come on to her. You said your car was further away so I think she was just being polite.


I think you assume to know more about women than you actually do.

Agree with all of the above.

Also, I remember offering to drop a guy off at his place who lived just a few blocks from where we met up for a drink.
I thought it was the nice thing to do though I knew I never wanted to see him again.
He thought this was a good sign and went for the kiss.
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