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Said he'd be in my area and then??


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Old 5th October 2017, 9:54 PM   #1
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Said he'd be in my area and then??

Hi! A guy I've been communicating with for a while said last minute this evening that he has a last minute work appointment tomorrow morning near my home. He usually is not so near my area. He wrote, "Guess what I have a meeting in [your neighborhood] tomorrow morning "

This is after I wrote him earlier in the day telling him to consider taking a day off with me because I'd like to spend some time with him.

I replied to him with, "Wow, shall we meet?" That was 3 hours ago and I still have not heard back from him. I'm not sure if he didn't see my message, or if he's ignoring it. Was he telling me he would be in my area so we could meet up? It's getting pretty late now (11pm) for scheduling a next morning meet up.

Should I:
1) Pop by where he'll be and catch him after his meeting?
2) Text and ask if he saw my earlier reply?
3) Do nothing.

Please tell me why you have chosen what you've chosen, and feel free to add your opinions. Thanks!
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Old 5th October 2017, 10:22 PM   #2
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He got your text. They always get the text. How often do you receive texts and not realize that you received them? Now let me ask you how many times do you receive a text from someone of romantic interest and hours go by before you realize that your romantic interest sent you a text?

Of course, every so often you can receive a text that you missed but those are relatively rare. Most text you receive you know within a couple of hours unless you are asleep because in this day and age we use our phones for everything. We don't just use them for talking but we use them for dating, checking email, games, photos, etc,.


So he got the text. We can come up with all sorts of ridiculous scenarios in our heads to say otherwise but he got the text.


1). Big, "stalkerish-like" mistake. Don't do it. He is likely ignoring your text so he definitely does not want to see you pop up. Maybe he will get back to you soon.

2). He got your text.

3). Correct choice.


I chose 3 because it is the only correct answer for when you send someone a text. You assume that they got it and you just have to wait for the response and being pushy about it is less than attractive. He hasn't responded for a reason. The worse thing that will happen is that you don't see him tomorrow. This is Ok. You don't need to see him tomorrow. You were born without him, went through your entire childhood without him and you can live without seeing him tomorrow. It would be nice for you to see him tomorrow but it is not crucial.

Good luck with him.
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Old 5th October 2017, 10:22 PM   #3
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I would sit tight and wait it out. No reason to put your plans for the day on hold for him to be a no show. The ball is in his court and he has to return it. If he doesn't, that's that.
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Old 5th October 2017, 10:34 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike B. View Post
He got your text. They always get the text. How often do you receive texts and not realize that you received them? Now let me ask you how many times do you receive a text from someone of romantic interest and hours go by before you realize that your romantic interest sent you a text?

Of course, every so often you can receive a text that you missed but those are relatively rare. Most text you receive you know within a couple of hours unless you are asleep because in this day and age we use our phones for everything. We don't just use them for talking but we use them for dating, checking email, games, photos, etc,.


So he got the text. We can come up with all sorts of ridiculous scenarios in our heads to say otherwise but he got the text.


1). Big, "stalkerish-like" mistake. Don't do it. He is likely ignoring your text so he definitely does not want to see you pop up. Maybe he will get back to you soon.

2). He got your text.

3). Correct choice.


I chose 3 because it is the only correct answer for when you send someone a text. You assume that they got it and you just have to wait for the response and being pushy about it is less than attractive. He hasn't responded for a reason. The worse thing that will happen is that you don't see him tomorrow. This is Ok. You don't need to see him tomorrow. You were born without him, went through your entire childhood without him and you can live without seeing him tomorrow. It would be nice for you to see him tomorrow but it is not crucial.

Good luck with him.
Normally this is a no brainer for me and I wouldn't even have to ask. The fact is this guy has me strung out and we meet rarely due to his crap circumstances. In the past, whenever he has mentioned being in my area for meetings we have always met up for a coffee. These are the reasons why I'm like a hair trigger on this. Not great, I know. Thanks for the detailed reply. Part of me wants to tell him, You snooze, you lose (as I usually would for anyone else).

Last edited by HadMeOverABarrel; 5th October 2017 at 10:34 PM.. Reason: typo
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Old 5th October 2017, 11:06 PM   #5
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So he finally answered: "Sure, why not but will be in morning after meeting"

Not as enthusiastic as I'd like. Already bad enough it is so last minute. I'd like to see him but can't he do better than this? I'm partly wanting to ignore and on his next communication say I didn't see his late night reply. If he tries again, maybe I'll go. But for anyone else I'd say I'm already booked and need more notice. Thoughts people?
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Old 6th October 2017, 12:21 AM   #6
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I'd say this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by HadMeOverABarrel View Post
I'm already booked and need more notice.
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Old 6th October 2017, 12:55 AM   #7
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Have you guys met in person yet? This doesn't sound like a great start. He doesn't seem that keen to meet and you're already feeling spiteful and considering playing games. I'd move on. Hopefully you haven't been communicating too long
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Old 6th October 2017, 2:28 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
Have you guys met in person yet? This doesn't sound like a great start. He doesn't seem that keen to meet and you're already feeling spiteful and considering playing games. I'd move on. Hopefully you haven't been communicating too long
Ohh yes, we've been in touch for quite a while. We first met two years ago. Mostly on his terms until I complain--hence the spiteful attitude. I do care for him very much though. He's a complicated character, although he wouldn't say so.
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Old 6th October 2017, 7:29 AM   #9
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I think he's just trying to get an ego boost by having you offer to meet up. When he mentions he'll be in your area, it's like he's fishing, and then when you ask to meet up, you're grabbing the bait. He says "jump" and you say "how high". Ugh.

I'd respond with a "maybe next time" and leave it at that.
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