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Do you think this guy is really hung up on my age?


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Old 3rd October 2017, 5:22 AM   #1
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Do you think this guy is really hung up on my age?

So I had a first date with an OLD guy 3 days ago. I was actually happy that it went fairly well (i.e. wasn't terrible) and I wouldn't mind seeing him again. He didn't contact me again despite kissing me at the end of the date and asking me if I would like to go out again (but without setting up any concrete plans).

I am not upset about this guy in particular, I am still weirdly happy that there are at least some "datable" guys left.

He is in his late 30s (a year older than me), decent job, average to cute looking (a little chubby and starting to bald though so nothing special), never been married and no kids (huge bonus for me, HUGE). I did get a bit of a "party boy" vibe though he said he is looking for a relationship. Not out of my league in any way.

Anyway, when I asked him about how long he has been doing OLD <cue to exchange funny OLD stories> he kept focusing on age. Like "all these women over 40 are contacting me", implying that they are too old for him. Then saying "I really think women in their late 20s have their head screwed on right, but not younger than that" (which to me implies that that's his preferable dating market).

I guess my question is, if he is really hang up on age, would he even meet someone that's his age? Or maybe he would but only for something casual and since I make it clear I am not into "casual", he doesn't contact me again? Or maybe he would if she turned out to be supermodel attractive but his standards of looks are way higher than for a woman 5-10 years younger?

I just don't know if I am being cynical or if this could be true. I don't think real life works like this but OLD is all about no connections and just pure "market value". It sort of feels like for these guys, early 30s is a cut off for anything serious. It's almost like guys in late 20s would have easier time dating me than guys my own age (since guys in their 20s are exposed to 20-something women all the time so they haven't become age-ist yet).

If that's the case, I think it's absurd that men wouldn't date someone their age and am not going to buy into it. I can't lower my standards anymore anyway.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 7:22 AM   #2
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He sounds like an idiot. frankly....

I mean, what type of guy (during a date, no less), tells a woman in her late 30's that he "prefers" younger?? Even if he felt that way, then keep it to yourself...It's obviously an insult to you...whether he intended to or not...

You describe him physically as a 5 at best....Are there desirable women in their late 20's lining up for this type of guy???...

I wouldn't think so, but perhaps I am mistaken..

TFY
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Old 3rd October 2017, 7:47 AM   #3
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I agree completely with TFY. I would so nope out if some guy was talking about age like that. He actually sounds really unattractive but different strokes. I don't know if it was necessarily your age that did it, though. He knew your age going in. Maybe he just didn't like the "not looking for casual" part...
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Old 3rd October 2017, 8:04 AM   #4
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Honestly does it matter? Everyone has a type but could end up falling in love with someone completely different! He may just be still trying to figure out how to handle this new type.

My current BF who I adore is 2 years older than me, Iím used to dating much older men, and Iíve told him that. Iím attracted to stability, success, reliability, which men my age donít ever have, but I found that even though heís young, heís got all those things! Now I love our age difference. He even told me heís never dated someone younger than him! Itís a first for the both of us.

Let him see that your head IS screwed on right!
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Old 3rd October 2017, 8:06 AM   #5
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I think he plain wasn't interested, otherwise he wouldn't have talked that way. It doesn't matter what he looks like, only what he is looking for. Maybe he is the greatest charmer when interested or incredibly smart, who knows?

I would just write it off as an encounter of the odd kind.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 8:42 AM   #6
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He sounds like a total jerk. I also think he mentioned the older women contacting him as a way of dissuading you from thinking that he was interested. I don't get why he went on a date with you to begin with, he obviously knew your age. If he was giving you party boy vibes that is a huge turn-off in your late 30's. He doesn't want to grow up which is why he is looking for women 10 years younger. I think it's better that he didn't contact you again.

I know it's disappointing, but at least you're trying! I had my fair share of disappointing/weird/crazy dates. For every 5 bad dates there would be 1 good one. Eventually one of the good ones became someone I was actually attracted to .
Don't give up and just laugh at this fool who's chasing his 20's
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Old 3rd October 2017, 8:52 AM   #7
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Yeah, if I was interested and not trying to chase someone away, I wouldn't say anything to indicate I was looking for something that my date didn't fit. I can't think of a more concrete way to tell someone it's going nowhere without actually saying "it's going nowhere".
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Old 3rd October 2017, 8:53 AM   #8
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But OP is not over 40... He said he was turned off by women over 40 contacting him. So she makes the cut He just sounds like a douche
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Old 3rd October 2017, 9:30 AM   #9
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Now you know why he has never been married........never been married can be a red flag in certain circumstances.....like this one.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 10:04 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
But OP is not over 40... He said he was turned off by women over 40 contacting him. So she makes the cut He just sounds like a douche
I know she isn't over 40, but she is in her late 30's and he said that women in their late 20's have their heads screwed on right. I think he was making a dig.. and I 100% agree that he was a dbag. He's chubby and balding and looking for younger women
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Old 3rd October 2017, 10:05 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
But OP is not over 40... He said he was turned off by women over 40 contacting him. So she makes the cut He just sounds like a douche
Yeah but it sounds like he was indicating his perfect match is a woman in her 20s to the OP, knowing she was in her 30s. So more like, "Hey, you're on the fringe but you might make the cut".
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Old 3rd October 2017, 10:34 AM   #12
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No, not guys in general. I guess age matters a lot only if he is looking to have kids.

Otherwise a good looking woman gets attention at any age.

But do you want a near 40 balding fat party boy ? I had that - it's not fun.
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Old 4th October 2017, 12:59 AM   #13
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Yeah, I get that he is not interested but at the end of the date he actually initiated a kiss. It was a hug and he turned into a full on kiss He also asked me if I am free later in the week as his schedule is looking free and he wants to do something again. I never initiate anything physical...and I haven't flirted at all.

It just doesn't make sense that someone would think things through enough to make the age comment as to not lead me on but then to kiss me at the end (in a broad daylight at the train station)...

He just sounds like a general douche to me.
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Old 4th October 2017, 1:08 AM   #14
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People sometimes kiss to just see what kissing is like - or so that they can tell their equally juvenile buddies that you kissed them.

Hi diatribe would have been enough for me never to want to see him again.

I suspect he is one of the plethora of 'eternal' 39 year olds you find on OLD.
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Old 4th October 2017, 1:49 AM   #15
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People sometimes kiss to just see what kissing is like - or so that they can tell their equally juvenile buddies that you kissed them.

Hi diatribe would have been enough for me never to want to see him again.

I suspect he is one of the plethora of 'eternal' 39 year olds you find on OLD.
Like this one guy who said he was 36 in his profile. When I met him, he confessed that he 43 and wanted to be honest with me because I seem like a relationship material. When I asked why is he lying about being 36 he said "it's easier to hook up with younger chicks"

He is still "36" over a year later
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