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Moved In Together and it's Not Going as Expected


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 6th October 2017, 1:03 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Gaeta View Post
How long exactly had you been dating before moving in?

That is exactly why we say there is a world of difference between dating a person and living with them. I dated my ex-husband for 3 years before we moved in together and he changed completely once we were under the same roof. When we were dating I was his beloved girlfriend, the moment we moved in together I became his mother. There was no more need to dine and wine me. I was taken for granted from that moment.

Yes when a couple move in together there is an amount of routine to be expected but any couple that understand the dangers and traps of routine will put aside time for each other on weekly basis. That's what makes the diffence between being a couple versus being room-mates.

The routine is innevitable. When my boyfriend stays over all week he expects me to give him all of my evening time. I can't do that. The laundry needs to be done, meals have to be cooked, lunch-bags have to be prepared, the dog needs to be walked, etc. If you expect living together is like being on a date each night, it's unrealistic a bit.
So why did you marry him if you said you immediately became like a mother to him?
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Old 6th October 2017, 1:08 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by herodgrant View Post
So why did you marry him if you said you immediately became like a mother to him?
We only moved in together after we married.

Like I said, we dated 3 years. When we dated he was the perfect boyfriend. I married him because I loved him, I loved the man I dated. He became someone different once married. How could I have known that ahead of time? Yes, by living with him first, but we didn't. That's why I am telling OP that dating someone is different than living with them. What she sees is what she gets, she should leave him, and certainly not marry him. She knows ahead of time what she's getting into, I didn't.
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Last edited by Gaeta; 6th October 2017 at 1:12 PM..
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Old 6th October 2017, 1:14 PM   #18
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Getting used to each other takes time, and some communication. When me and my husband started to live together, it got challenging and I was second guessing my decision. lol
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Old 6th October 2017, 1:19 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by FerociousBadAss View Post
We've been together 3.5 years. I don't expect weeknights to be date night, but seriously get complete and total silence now and again and feel / treated like a nag for wanting some interaction.

I guess it makes sense to have a talk.. Just saw everything going differently.
You know the answer already this is not how it suppose to be. Your with him 3.5 years how where those years together? You the type of woman who wants communication and not dead silence. If he has his own things to without you then you should have seen that coming. Sure you can't be attached to the hip 100% these people like to be independent (left alone) what I had prior with my ex-wife that's not a good way to live. She would always say"after I had asked to watch a TV show or movie I had recorded on DVR. - Her reply was very cold ti sounded like this "IF I WANTED TO WATCH ANYTHING WITH YOU I WOULD LET YOU KNOW! BUT RIGHT NOW I DON'T!"

That's really right down mean, so I ended up in my own home office and did my own things. I going to share that above with you because you need to know how some of them think. If you experience anything like that you have to decide if they're worth your time or not worth it! In my case she wasn't I am so glad I am not with her ever again, we don't even talk NC -NO CONTACT

What you need is a real man who enjoy's your company and time you share together even talk things out. Go out have fun and enjoy the life you have. Don't be a victim of neglect... It get's very lonely that way..
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