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Yikes, I'm so nervous.....


AliOop

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I have recently begun seeing a man who I like very much and who is really beginning to grow on me.

 

I have herpes. Since things have been heating up between us, I told him last night, and was I ever scared to do it.

 

He thanked me for telling him, hugged me tight and told me he's going to do some research on it. I told him that if he isn't comfortable going forward I completely understand. He left me with a knee-weakening kiss and I'm hoping it wasn't a kiss goodbye.

 

The waiting to find out if I'm being rejected is so. very. difficult.

 

Anyone else going/gone through this?

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Good for you for telling him. Hopefully his research helps him to be understanding. Perhaps message him with some links to good info which may help him.

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I don't think it's pushy. Present it as jump starting the research he said he wanted to do.

 

Your post says you are from NY. Act like a New Yorker. :) It's called being direct

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Cookiesandough

I am sorry you are anxious. If he does not return, then you know he was not right for you. If some guy decided not to see me because of something about myself I could not change then that is all for the best, in my opinion.

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I am a carrier of hsv-2 so I understand you perfectly. It's a dirty job but it needs to be done and I congratulate you for being a woman of integrity. Now that you have told him it's out of your hands. If this man doesn't want to pursue with you than another one will. I have to tell you I dated a lot and very few men stopped dating me because of it. I am currently in a relationship (2 years) with a negative man.

 

When I told men I dated I made sure to tell them if they wanted to research it to visit their family doctor OR to come with me to my doctor and told them google isn't a medical reference.

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Thanks, everyone, for the advice.

 

"Your post says you are from NY. Act like a New Yorker. It's called being direct"

 

LOLOL! So, so true!

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Some e-mail that said

 

 

OMG
! I love you
so
much. please please please be able to get past this. I know we can be
so
good together. I will worship the ground you walk on . . . blah blah blah

 

would be pushy & inappropriate.

 

 

Something that said,

 

 

Here are some links to information about my condition. Hope that jump starts your research. I'
m
here if you have Qs.

 

is informational.

 

 

Hang in there. cookiesandough is right. If he can't handle this, he's not the man for you.

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viatori patuit

I had a partner tell me.

 

This was 25 years ago. I did some research and found that the problem was manageable.

 

I ended up marrying her. It’s not a death sentence and it shouldn’t be that big of an issue. Particularly if out breaks are infrequent.

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Of the three men I've told in the past, two were fine with it and one ran as fast as he could.

 

My brother married a woman with it - they've been together for 23 years and he's never gotten it.

 

Also, I explained that I very rarely have an outbreak so I don't currently take any medication for it and if we decide to have a sexual relationship I would certainly get a prescription and take it daily for extra precaution.

 

Fingers crossed.

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Well ... These things happen don't they?

 

If outbreaks are infrequent, then it's okay. If you're managing it, it's okay. It can be ... Difficult to accept. I caught an STD years ago and passed it onto the love of my life, but he was okay with it because we both took antibiotics and it was done. Granted it wasn't herpies but ... It was something. This is why one gets tested every year. But that's another thread.

 

If you have it, it's important to tell the other person so that they don't feel as if they were lied to. It's no reason to be ashamed, these things happen. If the other person is telling you that you should be ashamed of it, then you don't really want that person to be your friend in any shape or form anyway.

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