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Dating someone before I go travelling


vikki012

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I've met a guy I really like and we have been dating now for about two months. We have been texting every day and meeting up about twice a week and going out for nice dinners/cooking together etc. He is really sweet and the first guy I have liked for a long time.

 

However I am leaving to go travelling next week for about two to three months - I am going to Thailand and Bali on my own. I've had this booked for a long time - a long time before I met him and have been really looking forward to it. I feel like I want to go abroad and grow as a person, become more independent etc so feel it will be really good for me.

 

Me and this guy were meant to meet last weekend but he's been out for dinner with a friend and suddenly got food poisoning which has made him very ill. He said he's been violently sick every day and not been able to eat anything. This means I won't see him before I leave for travelling as I am currently staying at my family home which is a long way from London. He's been taking a long time to reply to my whats app messages which I assume is because he is ill even though I've seen him online many times without replying to me so I feel like the dynamic has changed between us recently. It's made me very anxious and on edge and I haven't been able to sleep well recently.

 

I'm a bit unsure of how to handle things between us now with me going away next week. I feel like it's the worst timing in the world as I never expected to meet someone I really like. I know it's only two months away but so much can change in two months. I don't know if it's best to break it off with him before I go so I don't spend the whole trip missing him and ruin the experience for myself. I've been looking forward to it for so long and now feel depressed at the thought of leaving him and worrying about what he will be doing whilst I'm away. I'm also unsure of what happens if I meet guys whilst I'm away. We haven't discussed exclusivity or where the relationship is going so it's a very hard situation.

 

I have a history of over worrying about guys and over analysing situations and I just feel like I don't want to put myself through this again. I feel like I can't go away and enjoy it now without being stressed out.

 

What do you think is the best thing to do?

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Send him a snail mail get well card. Go on your trip. Send him a couple of post cards. Text / e-mail / call when you can. Bring him back a small souvenir like a t-shirt or a shot glass.

 

See how things are when you get back.

 

It's 3 months not forever.

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Send him a snail mail get well card. Go on your trip. Send him a couple of post cards. Text / e-mail / call when you can. Bring him back a small souvenir like a t-shirt or a shot glass.

 

See how things are when you get back.

 

It's 3 months not forever.

 

Is she allowed to sleep with others on her trip? Technically she wouldnt be doing anything wrong. And if he asks her if she did when she comes back she can reply " its none of your business". Right?

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The two people in the relationship need to set the parameters for THEIR relationship. If they don't agree to exclusivity before she leaves both should assume that the other one was not celibate. There would be no need to ask for details & nobody would be obligated to share those details. The only relevant fact would be whether anybody engaged in behavior that could adversely affect somebody else's health.

 

fred123 -- you have to stop looking for universal rules. Love & relationships are not computers. This is stuff is not binary ones & zeros. There is no logic

 

vikki012 -- fred123 does bring a up a valid point. Did you & this guy discuss expectations before you left?

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This is the trip of your lifetime. Dont let anyone or anything come in between especially such a young, non-exclusive relationship.

 

Go, explore the world. Live your dream. Dont hold back.

 

Whoever matters to your life or find you important for their lives, they will wait for you. 3 months are not the end of the world. Time will fly quickly.

 

Regardless of what happens between you and this guy, you need to be strong in your head that "YOU'RE GOING TO THIS TRIP AND ENJOY IT TO THE FULLEST!"

 

P/S: The places you're going to, are full of fun and there is a lot of things for you to explore and enjoy. Dont let this ruin your trip or experience.

 

All the best!

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