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Guy online asked me on a date, but hasn't confirmed. Date is today...


Free2be89

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Ive been texting with this guy for about 3 weeks pretty regularly. He's done most of the initiation texting me daily and always responding regardless if he was busy at work or not. He asked me out last Monday to get drinks on Saturday, and I said "Sure drinks on Saturday would be great." Then he said "Great it's a date." He continued to text me regularly for the first part of the week, but as of Thursday I haven't heard from him. I know he works late and hasn't been sleeping well, so I assumed that he had just gotten busy because it wasn't typical of him not to text at all. Fast forward to today, it's the morning of the supposed date and I haven't heard from him. What should I do at this point if he contacts me? I'm getting red flag feelings, and I don't know the right way to handle this situation.

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Oh for heaven's sake. Pick up your phone. Type the following into your text app:

 

Just confirming we're still on for drinks tonight. [insert name of bar] at [insert time] right? Looking forward to it. I'll be the one in the [describe your outfit: i.e. red top]

If he doesn't respond, don't go. If he does respond, go & have a good time. If he cancels reevaluate continuing to talk to him.

 

 

I don't think it's lack of interest. I think it's lack of manners.

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Cookiesandough

I think it's lack of interest. But you haven't met yet. And you are clearly more interested in meeting than him. So as D0nnivain said, contact him to find out what's up! Now! Be like " are we still on tonight?" So you can make new plans if he decides to flake.

Edited by Cookiesandough
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He asked me out last Monday to get drinks on Saturday, and I said "Sure drinks on Saturday would be great." Then he said "Great it's a date."

Do you have a specific place and time, or just the above?

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Do you have a specific place and time, or just the above?

 

He had suggested a place that he had been to that is in between the both of us, but no a specific time was never decided.

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He had suggested a place that he had been to that is in between the both of us, but no a specific time was never decided.

Weeeeell... he knows better.

Really depends on your personality and what type of guy you're hoping to date.

I consider anything less than date + time + place a bookmark/test balloon of sorts, not a date. And especially for a first meet there shouldn't be any guessing games involved. What are you willing to demonstrate to him?

 

Let's take a look at some of the possibilities:

 

- You can pick up the slack for a half-ass invitation and suggest or declare a time. From there he can respond in a timely fashion... or not.

 

- You can make alternate plans and go about your life. He may contact you or not, and you can respond or not.

 

- You can put your day on hold and twiddle your thumbs until he contacts you or doesn't.

 

Where are you emotionally right now? Annoyed but hopeful, or something else?

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Where are you emotionally right now? Annoyed but hopeful, or something else?

 

Well I'm mostly annoyed, but not terribly upset or anything like that. Im quickly learning to take this whole online dating thing with a grain of salt. There seems to be a lot of inconciderate practices going on. He seemed pretty interested while we've been talking, not all of a sudden he disappears when we talk about plans. What I want to demonstrate to him is that even though we haven't met, I'm not someone who will be put on a back burner as a last minute thought. I WILL be going on with my day.

Edited by Free2be89
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Happened to me once. I just assumed date is not happening as I hadn't heard from him. Two hours before the date, he contacts me saying he will be leaving the house in few minutes and looking forward to meeting me. I texted back that I assumed he wasnt interested since he never confirmed and that I stayed longer in school to study. He didnt seem upset. Said it was ok and we rescheduled for the following week. The following week he reached out to confirm.

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Happened to me once. I just assumed date is not happening as I hadn't heard from him. Two hours before the date, he contacts me saying he will be leaving the house in few minutes and looking forward to meeting me. I texted back that I assumed he wasnt interested since he never confirmed and that I stayed longer in school to study. He didnt seem upset. Said it was ok and we rescheduled for the following week. The following week he reached out to confirm.

Wow seriously? Some guys are that damn clueless???

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Cookiesandough

It sounds like he's interested in a chat buddy but when it comes down to actually having to buy you a drink he isn't the hat excited. Let me say though that I have had way better luck getting second dates and maintaining interest on OLD than getting guys to ask to first meet irl. They either drag out the talking or something else. It can be tricky

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Well I'm mostly annoyed, but not terribly upset or anything like that. Im quickly learning to take this whole online dating thing with a grain of salt. There seems to be a lot of inconciderate practices going on. He seemed pretty interested while we've been talking, not all of a sudden he disappears when we talk about plans. What I want to demonstrate to him is that even though we haven't met, I'm not someone who will be put on a back burner as a last minute thought. I WILL be going on with my day.

 

Now you get it!

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Happened to me once. I just assumed date is not happening as I hadn't heard from him. Two hours before the date, he contacts me saying he will be leaving the house in few minutes and looking forward to meeting me. I texted back that I assumed he wasnt interested since he never confirmed and that I stayed longer in school to study. He didnt seem upset. Said it was ok and we rescheduled for the following week. The following week he reached out to confirm.

 

Seriously? I thought it was basic common knowledge that you'd check in with someone you're planning on meeting up with. Especially if you've never met. Lol

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Cookiesandough
Happened to me once. I just assumed date is not happening as I hadn't heard from him. Two hours before the date, he contacts me saying he will be leaving the house in few minutes and looking forward to meeting me. I texted back that I assumed he wasnt interested since he never confirmed and that I stayed longer in school to study. He didnt seem upset. Said it was ok and we rescheduled for the following week. The following week he reached out to confirm.

 

This happened to me once with an online guy too. I actually ended up going out on the date with him at like 9 PM to have coffee(?) SMH my dignity. I actually made a thread about it. What is with these online dudes? I wasn't interested(attracted) after the first date and he went full psycho on me when I told him too.

Edited by Cookiesandough
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This happened to me once with an online guy too. I actually ended up going out on the date with him at like 9 PM to have coffee(?) SMH my dignity. I actually made a thread about it. What is with these online dudes? I wasn't interested(attracted) after the first date and he went full psycho on me when I told him too.

And guys wonder why so many women won't come out and say that they are not interested......:rolleyes:

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Cookiesandough

Yea..he changed his number and started sending me D pics too as a last resort. Like that would open my eyes to what a mistake id made

 

So what ended up happening. Op?

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Yea..he changed his number and started sending me D pics too as a last resort. Like that would open my eyes to what a mistake id made

 

So what ended up happening. Op?

 

So I didn't hear from him all day, and I just got a text asking me how my Saturday is going like nothing happened...I haven't answered.

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Well that fails...............dump this chump.

 

Yea...I don't know what kind of game he's playing or what's going on in his upstairs, but I'm not participating. Lol

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This is all the norm with OLD. More common than actually meeting for the first time (or first date - whatever you call it).

 

Better to find out sooner is my motto.

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Yea...I don't know what kind of game he's playing or what's going on in his upstairs, but I'm not participating. Lol

:laugh: Well done, let him wonder!

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He probably forgot there was supposed to be a date. Sounds like he's got too many plates spinning...

 

Except the date was set up by text and he finally replied through text. So he likely reviewed his last few text with her like many do.

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Since he asked how your Saturday was and he apparently forgot he asked you out for today I would tell him since he never confirmed your plans you’re going to meet someone else.

 

Determine if this guy wants to meet or is a time waster. But let him know you are not sitting around waiting for him to call. Since he never confirmed date you are meeting someone else. Even if it’s a lie.

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I don't buy that this guy 'forgot' about the date. For some, it's easier to pretend ignorance.

 

Whether he has too much going on or he is sly or thinks he is, he is not a keeper.

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