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Boyfriend goes through my phone, but hides his..?

Alwaysthinkofme

By Alwaysthinkofme,
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Alwaysthinkofme

Alwaysthinkofme

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My boyfriend looks through my phone and its contents all the time. I never deny him access or pull my device away. Last night I came into my room to catch him snooping through files. I didn't say anything but, thought it was pretty invasive. Whenever I try to look through his phone as of recent, he instantly pulls away..even though he says I can see anything. This morning I asked to see his phone and wanted to just use it. He then tilts the screen away from my direction and begins deleting two photo albums. When I confronted him about why he would do this, he states "Its just previous pics of female friends or a blonde and didn't want me getting jealous." (If it was the past, there would be no reason..) "Its way in the past..its just old and I'm trying to protect you." When asking him from what? He says apps, garbage, old pics of female friends.. I am now feeling as if there is lack of trust here and before I had no desire to go through his device. I set a password on my phone and said "I think its best we not look at each other's devices anymore." What I am curious about though, is what he was trying to hide.. Was it pics of an ex or something intimate? How do I move past this, I'm pretty upset at him..

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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He hides his stuff because he knows what's on there so he suspects that the same inappropriate stuff is on your phone.

 

 

I mean c'mon . . . .you've been dating for how long? So it had to be that moment when he deleted the offensive albums? BTW, he didn't delete them. He just sent them to the cloud. As soon as you were out of sight he put them back where they are easily accessible.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

CautiouslyOptimistic

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My boyfriend looks through my phone and its contents all the time. I never deny him access or pull my device away. Last night I came into my room to catch him snooping through files. I didn't say anything but, thought it was pretty invasive. Whenever I try to look through his phone as of recent, he instantly pulls away..even though he says I can see anything. This morning I asked to see his phone and wanted to just use it. He then tilts the screen away from my direction and begins deleting two photo albums. When I confronted him about why he would do this, he states "Its just previous pics of female friends or a blonde and didn't want me getting jealous." (If it was the past, there would be no reason..) "Its way in the past..its just old and I'm trying to protect you." When asking him from what? He says apps, garbage, old pics of female friends.. I am now feeling as if there is lack of trust here and before I had no desire to go through his device. I set a password on my phone and said "I think its best we not look at each other's devices anymore." What I am curious about though, is what he was trying to hide.. Was it pics of an ex or something intimate? How do I move past this, I'm pretty upset at him..

 

You're not buying that BS, are you?

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Alwaysthinkofme

Alwaysthinkofme

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Yeah..I didn't buy the first few excuses he threw at me.. He says in defense "I just didn't want you over thinking too much.." The way he seemed panicked to rush and delete the albums gave away that this was complete BS. Now as the two albums are deleted (up in the clouds for later) he seems more willing to let me see his phone.. :confused:

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BaileyB

BaileyB

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Yeah..I didn't buy the first few excuses he threw at me.. He says in defense "I just didn't want you over thinking too much.." The way he seemed panicked to rush and delete the albums gave away that this was complete BS. Now as the two albums are deleted (up in the clouds for later) he seems more willing to let me see his phone.. :confused:

 

Oh, so he's doing this for your benefit, because he's concerned about you ;)

 

Seriously, what are you confused about here? It seems pretty obvious what he is doing... But, if you are still confused, Donnivain hit the nail right on the head.

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Alwaysthinkofme

Alwaysthinkofme

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I'mI even said that he knew what was on there, otherwise he wouldn't have gone to delete those two albums. This can't be just some random female friend and it makes me curious what else he is hiding. I'm not really confused, as I am really upset and feel my trust has gone down. Its unfair he expects me to let him see and look through my phone, but acts as weird with his..

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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Alwaysthinkofme, just wondering when you're going to dump this guy. He's no good, been telling ya. You are patient

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smackie9

smackie9

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*I would never date anyone that saw fit to go through my private stuff. It's insulting. I don't know why people allow this sort of thing tbh.

 

OP I thought you made the firm suggestion to not look at each others phone? You are wasting your time now because all he is going to do is delete whatever is incriminating on his phone and let you look to pacify you. This is not a war that has been won. You are right back where you started.....same old bs.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

CautiouslyOptimistic

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OP, I took a quick look at threads you have started and the majority of them involve you posting yet another suspicious thing your BF has done. The writing is on the wall here, over and over, in bright red paint. It makes me wonder why you are allowing yourself to be treated this way? And don't say "because I love him." That's a cop-out.

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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Yeah..I didn't buy the first few excuses he threw at me.. He says in defense "I just didn't want you over thinking too much.." The way he seemed panicked to rush and delete the albums gave away that this was complete BS. Now as the two albums are deleted (up in the clouds for later) he seems more willing to let me see his phone.. :confused:

 

That in bold is him insulting to your intelligence. A man serving me this sentence would be long gone.

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Poutrew

Poutrew

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You need to end things with him. When he demands a reason, you can tell him you have become insanely jealous of all those sexy pictures and texts to old lovers he has deleted before he gave his phone to you. When he says they really weren't anything bad, you look him straight in the eye and say, "prove it."

 

That's the thing about deleted evidence. Since you have no way of knowing what it actually was, your mind is left to fill in the void with the absolute worst crap it can come up with, and there is no way for your BF to prove to you it isn't so. But seriously, with his behaviors, is there any doubt in your mind he is not up to no good? Your BF showed you how to treat him: Delete this relationship the same way he deleted his phone...

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act00

act00

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Thieves expect everyone to steal and cheaters expect everyone to cheat. The fact he has a ton to hide and then snoops through your phone as if you're misbehaving is screaming he's up to no good. He's projecting his behavior on you. If this were my boyfriend, my trust would drop significantly. He's hiding something, obviously.

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Methodical

Methodical

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He wanted to protect you so much that he kept material on his phone, even though he thought it would upset you. Pfft... Honestly, I'd be irate at his juvenile explanation. Pics and apps = active use, not something from his past. He has insulted your intelligence. Oh yeah, then there is the snooping through your phone. Guilty people assume others are guilty too.

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Caramelpopcorn

Caramelpopcorn

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LOL doesn't want you to overthink it!? Then why be so shady? Delete them IN FRONT OF YOU so you can know what to even believe.

 

My ex acted this shady before, I was going through pictures on his phone that he took of me and he was standing over me panicking trying to pull the phone out of my hand. I knew instantly something shady was going on, I got pissed and confronted him, he said oh there are kinky pictures I took for you once before remember? Your sister was in the room I didn't want her to see them.

 

She was standing no where near us.

 

Guess what? He was on tinder.

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