In your mind, should the guy or girl initiate the boyfriend-girlfriend talk?

[CoolJoe]

A lot of guys (especially Corey Wayne, Google him if you don't know who that is) say the guy absolutely should let the girl bring up the BF GF talk, because it keeps the guy in a "position of power" and the woman "chasing."

 

Is that fair/logical/right?

 

I've been dating this girl 7 weeks now and we're exclusively dating. I don't know if that's too early to ask her to be my girlfriend or if I should heed Corey's words and continue focusing on just having fun, meeting up and letting her initiate all the "relationship" work/talking.

 

Does the guy lose power in any way if he initiates the BF GF talk? It sounds crazy but I can see Corey's point. Anyway, just seeking different opinions on this topic.

[Popsicle]

Guys always say the girl should. Girls always say the guy should.

 

Personally I don't have a problem telling a guy what my expectations are. And that usually involves me telling him that I expect him to ask me to be his girlfriend, if we're going to continue. It's up to him if he wants to do that or not.

[Larryville]

Actions speak louder than words.

 

I thought about this, I have never initiate the boyfriend-girlfriend talk, nor has anybody initiated it with me. You just know, the actions speak for themselves, from planning activities and time together, to communication style, body language ect.

 

Now having said that, a good number of people either lack the capability to read other humans and or have a low EQ.

[Shining One]

The person who wants it first should be the one to ask.

[olivetree]

If you're looking to have the most power in a relationship, you're not doing it right.

[Gaeta]

Most women will wait for the man to initiate the talk. Why? Because the man by nature is the chaser. Women (most) WANT relationships it's no secrets to men. Men are much more harder to pin down so it's normal a woman will wait for a man to make up his mind about exclusivity. What this Corey guy says is counter productive and against human nature. Just look at how many women post on here waiting for men to offer exclusivity.

[knabe]

I think someone who obsesses about the talk and stalls waiting for ME to do it is too passive for me to date. Just saying

[SwordofFlame]

Well if you believe that men are the gatekeepers to relationships and women are the gatekeepers to sex, than the woman should be the one to initiate the relationship talk and the men initiate sex.

[Chilli]

All just sounds like a silly game to me op and way way ridiculously formal too for a couple that should be well on their way to in love

l've never had the talk as you call it in my life, no need to it's usually pretty obvious anyway by then.

 

But eh , if you really must have a talk then l'd go with Gaeta and be the one to bring it on. Not that it would bother me if she did but l just think it'd be a really cool way of showing her how special she is to you, a respect thing.

[d0nnivain]

Corey Wayne is giving you that advice because he views dating as a zero sum power game -- if you give & she gets, you lose. A good relationship means everybody wins.

 

 

So whoever is feeling it should open the conversation when it feels right to them.

[BryanSmiley]

I echo most comments above and have had extremes from one end to the other. From a girl considering it normal to be ‘BF/GF’ after sex then continuing to date. To a girl 3 months on seemingly averse to labels.

 

My preference lies somewhere in-between the above. But people are different, have different cultures, with different experiences.