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Any Multidating Tips???


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 26th August 2017, 1:50 AM   #46
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Good question Cookies!

Ok so, I'm 95% sure he smokes weed. Nurses are scrupulously drug tested using hair samples and even being around weed could make me come up positive. Plus, I dont really agree with marijuana usage unless its for medicinal purposes. Usually, once I found out a guy smoked weed, that was always a deal breaker for me

Second, we communicate a lot but he never asks about me. He's not quiet or talking about himself all the time but I just noticed he doesnt know much about me because he's never asked. I really dont like it when guys do that

Third, he broke up with his ex back in April and he's still living in his friend's apartment. Eh... that doesnt scream stable to me.

I just learned most of this today

I just dont think this would work...
Okay well if you're already not feeling it, you should prob listen to your gut. I didn't listen to mine and ended up on a date with a gay man in the closet tonight. What you described would be deal breakers for me too in your shoes. On to the next!
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Old 26th August 2017, 1:50 AM   #47
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Another thing, he lives in a big city in my state that has a really high crime rate

Yet its 1am here and he's sending me pics of him outside saying he's getting a good buzz on????

That cant be good
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Old 26th August 2017, 1:53 AM   #48
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oh wow. Does he have a day job? A lot of 'rappers' who aren't,you know, making a living at it, are living off assistance and selling dope =S. But not all. I shouldn't jump to such conclusions.
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Old 26th August 2017, 2:01 AM   #49
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oh wow. Does he have a day job? A lot of 'rappers' who aren't,you know, making a living at it, are living off assistance and selling dope =S. But not all. I shouldn't jump to such conclusions.
He def has a job. But its one of those jobs where someone describes it to you and you can tell its nothing sketchy but at the same time is seems like a b.s type of job

Again, finding all this out today
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Old 26th August 2017, 2:04 AM   #50
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Okay well if you're already not feeling it, you should prob listen to your gut. I didn't listen to mine and ended up on a date with a gay man in the closet tonight. What you described would be deal breakers for me too in your shoes. On to the next!
Awww girl I'm sorry

This is one of those, 'trust your gut' type of moments huh?

I hate those because I always feel like I have to learn the hard way

But ya, this is probably a no go

I just have to say it...have to get it out there...he's just so damn sexy

This a total dead end though
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Old 26th August 2017, 2:08 AM   #51
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Awww girl I'm sorry

This is one of those, 'trust your gut' type of moments huh?

I hate those because I always feel like I have to learn the hard way

But ya, this is probably a no go

I just have to say it...have to get it out there...he's just so damn sexy

This a total dead end though
yep ty its okay

Might be worth the date if he's sexy...just saiyan...esp since you were considering some 'fun'? I mean a first date never killed anyone. Could be something there, but if they're absolute deal breakers and you can't do casual it's a waste of time.

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Old 26th August 2017, 1:38 PM   #52
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yep ty its okay

Might be worth the date if he's sexy...just saiyan...esp since you were considering some 'fun'? I mean a first date never killed anyone. Could be something there, but if they're absolute deal breakers and you can't do casual it's a waste of time.
Honestly, I cant do casual. I would love to have some fun and relieve some stress, NSA, but I'm not wired that way

I'm afraid if I do go on the date, I'll just get sucked in and focus on him. Considering he's probably not right for me, it would be a waste of time and energy

But at the same time, I'm tempted to just go on one date with him...probably just because he's so sexy

I'm conflicted now
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Old 26th August 2017, 1:55 PM   #53
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A lot of it sounds valid but it could be pre-date stress. If I were you I'll meet him but be watch out for red flags (the ones you mentioned) and don't respond after the date if you're not feeling it.


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Good question Cookies!

Ok so, I'm 95% sure he smokes weed. Nurses are scrupulously drug tested using hair samples and even being around weed could make me come up positive. Plus, I dont really agree with marijuana usage unless its for medicinal purposes. Usually, once I found out a guy smoked weed, that was always a deal breaker for me

Second, we communicate a lot but he never asks about me. He's not quiet or talking about himself all the time but I just noticed he doesnt know much about me because he's never asked. I really dont like it when guys do that and back when I was 100% into OLD, I always avoided those types. Not sure what happened here. Like I said, my screening game is off

Third, he broke up with his ex back in April and he's still living in his friend's apartment. Eh... that doesnt scream stable to me.

I just learned most of this today

I just dont think this would work...
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Old 26th August 2017, 2:45 PM   #54
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A lot of it sounds valid but it could be pre-date stress. If I were you I'll meet him but be watch out for red flags (the ones you mentioned) and don't respond after the date if you're not feeling it.
I really dont get pre-date stress. If I want to go out with someone and genuinely feel there is potential, I'm always super excited to meet them

At this point in my life, and because I'm such an all or nothing type of person, I dont see the point in going out with someone if I'm 95% sure the person isnt right for me
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Old 26th August 2017, 2:48 PM   #55
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I really dont get pre-date stress. If I want to go out with someone and genuinely feel there is potential, I'm always super excited to meet them

At this point in my life, and because I'm such an all or nothing type of person, I dont see the point in going out with someone if I'm 95% sure the person isnt right for me
Oh answer is clear then: cancel on him, since it is before you met, it will be easier for both that way.
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Old 26th August 2017, 4:38 PM   #56
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Thanks everyone for your feedback. I love the insight!

In all honesty, I've been burned and beaten down so much, I'm much more realistic than I used to be (hard to believe but true) and I'm much more prepared for the worst outcomes in dating

I used to be incredibly naive. I remember 2 years ago, I went on a date with a guy who was clearly an arrogrant prick. He got super drunk on the first date and asked me to be his girlfriend. I had very little dating experience and would believe anything a guy told me so I just thought his drunken display was super romatic and I fell for him hook line and sinker. I cringe when I look back at the mistakes I made

Although I do let my mind run wild and think up fairy tales, I'm much stronger, wiser and well prepared than I've ever been. The last 3 breakups I've had, I held my own and moved on no problem. When I get the feeling a new guy is a douche, I move on very quickly. I'm not longer attracted to guys that keep me guessing if they like me or if they'll call or text. I'm attracted to stability, a strong connection, a guy that thinks of me and tries to make me happy.

Maybe I'm just wired to dream about fairy tales and the white picket fence. I dont know how to shut that off. I've been screwed over so many times in the past 2 years, if I'm not done dreaming of my wedding day...I dont know that I ever will be

I'm kind of thinking I should just embrace the way I date and the way I think. I'm tired of being scrupulous and obsessing if things will work out or not. Its almost impossible for me to pump the brakes and I'm tired of forcing myself to do that. As long as I continue to be strong no matter the outcome. Maybe I should just have fun???
I used to be the exact same way lol. One time I barely knew the guy, but got burned really bad emotionally (I didn't sleep w/him though). Jerks are completely not tolerated by me.

I broke up w/a controlling guy and went back to online dating. I started talking to one guy who was enthusiastic about seeing me for a date. He cancelled last minute before the date and I let that go only because he said that work was hectic, I gave him another chance.

He cut our date short because he had an outing w/his friend, I thought that was very rude. Not only that he texted me the next day about how crappy his outing was. I called him out on it and he was none too happy, said I wasn't his type and he just wanted to meet cool new friends. I told him douches weren't my type either. I don't tolerate any of this behavior at all and due to all the jerks, flakes and generally dishonest guys, I started multi dating.
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Old 26th August 2017, 5:25 PM   #57
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I'm really picky....very picky and I'm not seeing many guys I'd consider on OLD at the moment

I'm talking to one other guy right now and he seems great

But I'm still thinking about the other one thats probably not right for me. I must be the most sexually frustrated woman in the world because if this guy wasnt so f***ing sexy, theres no way I would be considering going out with him

I havent made a decision yet

I feel so stuck
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Old 26th August 2017, 5:27 PM   #58
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I'm really picky....very picky and I'm not seeing many guys I'd consider on OLD at the moment

I'm talking to one other guy right now and he seems great

But I'm still thinking about the other one thats probably not right for me. I must be the most sexually frustrated woman in the world because if this guy wasnt so f***ing sexy, theres no way I would be considering going out with him

I havent made a decision yet

I feel so stuck
I guess you're not winning here Or we're in a close competition

Jokes aside, don't let this cloud your judgement. Time out of bed is longer than time in bed so to speak.
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Old 26th August 2017, 5:29 PM   #59
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Oh answer is clear then: cancel on him, since it is before you met, it will be easier for both that way.
I know but I'm thinking like a guy that only wants sex

Sex with this guy would be amazinggggg

Anything else? Not so much
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Old 26th August 2017, 5:33 PM   #60
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I guess you're not winning here Or we're in a close competition

Jokes aside, don't let this cloud your judgement. Time out of bed is longer than time in bed so to speak.
Hahaha!

You're right

I refuse to ignore my gut yet again. I have so many threads here where I knew the guy wasnt right for me yet I still went through with dating him. Of course it didnt end well

I'm not going to do that to myself again

I will tell him the date is off... I just hate rejecting guys. Hate it!

He texted me last night, I didnt respond. When he texts me again, I'll let him know
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