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Any Multidating Tips???


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 24th August 2017, 9:32 AM   #31
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If you are not the type to multi date then just don't do it. What you can do is cut down on investing in someone so quickly, and keep your emotions in check. Then you will be able to make wiser choices.
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Old 25th August 2017, 3:31 PM   #32
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***Update***

I have a date with tunnel vision guys this Sunday. We were both busy this weekend so we planned for Sunday night. I could've waited until the week days but I want to meet him asap so I don't build things up in my head for a longer period of time.

As for the diluded fairy tale stuff.... It's not helped by this song he sent me. (No Shawn Mendez or Bruno Mars ) He wrote, sang and recorded it himself. I doubted it would be good but omgggg it was so good. It's actually a rap. Sounds so professional. Really well done. And It's so sexy but I def wont talk about sex like I did with the last guy. Such a bad idea.

He's Puerto Rican. I've never dated a guy that wasn't of my own race before. No rhyme or reason for it.

But anyway the song is getting to me. Music makes me day dream about things to no end

Fml...
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Old 25th August 2017, 3:32 PM   #33
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Is this a common thing for women, to get attached and have eyes only for one man so quickly? In my experience, men don't seem to have a problem multi-dating early on even if he meets a gorgeous and mind blowingly amazing woman. Maybe that might explain why polygamy/harems are most often one guy, many women rather than the other way around.
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Old 25th August 2017, 3:41 PM   #34
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Ohhhh sounds dreamy. Enjoy your date hope it goes well!
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Old 25th August 2017, 4:22 PM   #35
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Ohhhh sounds dreamy. Enjoy your date hope it goes well!
Thanks girl!

Its so dreamy.... SOOOO dreamy

Ok, stop it Dis
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Old 25th August 2017, 5:08 PM   #36
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Thanks everyone for your feedback. I love the insight!

In all honesty, I've been burned and beaten down so much, I'm much more realistic than I used to be (hard to believe but true) and I'm much more prepared for the worst outcomes in dating

I used to be incredibly naive. I remember 2 years ago, I went on a date with a guy who was clearly an arrogrant prick. He got super drunk on the first date and asked me to be his girlfriend. I had very little dating experience and would believe anything a guy told me so I just thought his drunken display was super romatic and I fell for him hook line and sinker. I cringe when I look back at the mistakes I made

Although I do let my mind run wild and think up fairy tales, I'm much stronger, wiser and well prepared than I've ever been. The last 3 breakups I've had, I held my own and moved on no problem. When I get the feeling a new guy is a douche, I move on very quickly. I'm not longer attracted to guys that keep me guessing if they like me or if they'll call or text. I'm attracted to stability, a strong connection, a guy that thinks of me and tries to make me happy.

Maybe I'm just wired to dream about fairy tales and the white picket fence. I dont know how to shut that off. I've been screwed over so many times in the past 2 years, if I'm not done dreaming of my wedding day...I dont know that I ever will be

I'm kind of thinking I should just embrace the way I date and the way I think. I'm tired of being scrupulous and obsessing if things will work out or not. Its almost impossible for me to pump the brakes and I'm tired of forcing myself to do that. As long as I continue to be strong no matter the outcome. Maybe I should just have fun???
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Old 25th August 2017, 5:50 PM   #37
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I'm kind of thinking I should just embrace the way I date and the way I think.

I think that's the best course of action. People insist on changing themselves but in 99.9% of the cases it is just putting a mask to function better into the society. Live your fairy tales, just don't let them govern you.

Let us know how it goes with the Puerto Rican guy!
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Old 25th August 2017, 7:32 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disillusionment373 View Post

As for the diluded fairy tale stuff.... It's not helped by this song he sent me. (No Shawn Mendez or Bruno Mars ) He wrote, sang and recorded it himself. I doubted it would be good but omgggg it was so good. It's actually a rap. Sounds so professional. Really well done.
.
See if a girl I hadn't met was sending me something like that, I'd think she was either a little crazy, desperate or trying to love bomb me. I'd be pretty wary. But you are having the complete opposite reaction...
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Old 25th August 2017, 7:36 PM   #39
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See if a girl I hadn't met was sending me something like that, I'd think she was either a little crazy, desperate or trying to love bomb me. I'd be pretty wary. But you are having the complete opposite reaction...
Hmmm.....

I think he was just trying to share things with me so we can get to know each other

I sent him a picture of one of my paintings
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Old 25th August 2017, 7:43 PM   #40
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Also, the rap wasnt about me

It was about what he's looking to find and have with a partner

Some of the lyrics were super sexual (But thats the case with a lot of rap) and some were genuinely sweet
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Old 25th August 2017, 8:15 PM   #41
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Most people who multi-date do it if they are doing OLD. To be sure of things, keep a calendar and make sure there is no cross over or conflict. Chances are you will meet once and never hear from the person again to begin with, so make sure you're all knowing of who and where.
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Old 26th August 2017, 12:10 AM   #42
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Have to Branch Out!

Ok so...

The guy I'm talking to might not be all that great...

So I started messaging some other guys back! Guys that might be a little more right for me.

I'm alittle rusty with OLD (havent been on in 5 months) so I wasnt doing the usual screening I did in the past

Theres some guys that seem really great that have messaged me and that will probably be better suited for me so here goes nothing!

I dont know if I want to go on the date with the tunnel vision/rapper guy anymore

Eh...
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Old 26th August 2017, 12:30 AM   #43
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wait what happened?
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Old 26th August 2017, 12:33 AM   #44
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Originally Posted by joseb View Post
See if a girl I hadn't met was sending me something like that, I'd think she was either a little crazy, desperate or trying to love bomb me. I'd be pretty wary. But you are having the complete opposite reaction...
I thought more like he was just showing of off his work, trying ti impress

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 26th August 2017 at 12:37 AM..
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Old 26th August 2017, 12:45 AM   #45
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wait what happened?
Good question Cookies!

Ok so, I'm 95% sure he smokes weed. Nurses are scrupulously drug tested using hair samples and even being around weed could make me come up positive. Plus, I dont really agree with marijuana usage unless its for medicinal purposes. Usually, once I found out a guy smoked weed, that was always a deal breaker for me

Second, we communicate a lot but he never asks about me. He's not quiet or talking about himself all the time but I just noticed he doesnt know much about me because he's never asked. I really dont like it when guys do that and back when I was 100% into OLD, I always avoided those types. Not sure what happened here. Like I said, my screening game is off

Third, he broke up with his ex back in April and he's still living in his friend's apartment. Eh... that doesnt scream stable to me.

I just learned most of this today

I just dont think this would work...
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