breadbin Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 I'm doing it all wrong!! I was in work recently, I'm a nurse, and this visitor had a little girl with him and she was about 3. The visitor was looking for info about their relative or something and I was chatting away to the little girl asking her was she on the swings and stuff. I looked over and a physio in work was looking at me smiling. I think she is pretty hot and we get on well and then after she was asking was I going to some party or other and she looked disappointed when I said I wasn't. I couldn't as it happens. Anyway fast forward to 3 weeks later and I have a spare ticket to a football match and I want to ask her but she has changed wards now. I thought it would be a good idea to chat to her first on fb and open up the communication first so I was like a dope and asked her did she have a cure for shin splints!! She texted me back a pretty good answer for shin splints but pure professional like. Would I have been better off asking her straight out did she want to go to the match? She would be into it. What are my options now? The match is in 4 days! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Getting to know somebody is better done in person not OL. Why did you want to hide behind FB? On your break go to where she is in the hospital & ask to the football match with you. If she says no, don't push. But bear in mind it may be a scheduling conflict rather than lack of interest. Still be cool because it's work & you don't want to be creepy stalker guy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Ask straight out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author breadbin Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 Getting to know somebody is better done in person not OL. Why did you want to hide behind FB? On your break go to where she is in the hospital & ask to the football match with you. If she says no, don't push. But bear in mind it may be a scheduling conflict rather than lack of interest. Still be cool because it's work & you don't want to be creepy stalker guy I don't know fear of rejection probably! I wouldn't be the most confident person I find it easier to think about what I say instead of being put on the spot. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Then practice making small talk. Everyone has the same fear or rejection & being put on the spot. Learning to put others at ease will boost your social standing & diminish your own anxiety. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Jeez, man...Women like confidence. That doesn't mean you have to have confidence but it does mean you had better fake it. Walk up to her, tell her you like her and would like a chance to prove that it's worth her time. Ask her to grab a drink and if you hit it off, hit the match after. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Send her a message.... That was silly of me, I don't have shin splints but I did want an excuse to talk to you. I have an extra ticket to the game and I would be flattered if you joined me. Are you free to accompany me on Saturday? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bachdude Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Would you think this hard about how to ask one of your guy buds to go to a football match? I doubt it! It's awkaward, I know. Even the most confident guy can sometimes get flustered around a woman that he is crushing on. But I promise you she is not an alien being. Just think of asking her like asking a friend. Or Imagine her as a sister or a cousin or something. Find out where she is going to be, like you are tracking down a friend, and ask her out. Simple as that. Done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Send her a message.... That was silly of me, I don't have shin splints but I did want an excuse to talk to you. I have an extra ticket to the game and I would be flattered if you joined me. Are you free to accompany me on Saturday? Definitely the best answer. Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Send her a message.... That was silly of me, I don't have shin splints but I did want an excuse to talk to you. I have an extra ticket to the game and I would be flattered if you joined me. Are you free to accompany me on Saturday?I like this too. It shows confident enough to admit the truth....humility....and it's flattering to anyone when we tell them the truth. It shows we have a "solid self" no matter how they respond. People dig on that stuff. Good luck.. but not a message...if it were me....in person is the ticket.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stixx Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Ask straight out. Bam! just ask. A two letter word -------no------- is not harmful. ...Maybe lay some charm. Goofy always works for me. I might not get a number or a date, but some women will chat with me to high heaven in a store where i have to break away from them. I did it all the time with my ex...she was 5 feet away and giving me the evil eye, then when we got in the car she said "why do you do that?. You flirt with anyone"... ..I said "I have to practice for when you dump me"....Welpers.... I should have yapped that much more and never threw out those numbers even if they was fake. She dumped me and now I cant find a great gal to even walk around and do window shopping with. Im not worried because soon will come football. Its all over for me. Im in hibernation mode and dont give a hoot about hand holding and simple things. I gotta worry about my Football League - - Then Hockey starts up. lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
shellybing Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 I'm doing it all wrong!! I was in work recently, I'm a nurse, and this visitor had a little girl with him and she was about 3. The visitor was looking for info about their relative or something and I was chatting away to the little girl asking her was she on the swings and stuff. I looked over and a physio in work was looking at me smiling. I think she is pretty hot and we get on well and then after she was asking was I going to some party or other and she looked disappointed when I said I wasn't. I couldn't as it happens. Anyway fast forward to 3 weeks later and I have a spare ticket to a football match and I want to ask her but she has changed wards now. I thought it would be a good idea to chat to her first on fb and open up the communication first so I was like a dope and asked her did she have a cure for shin splints!! She texted me back a pretty good answer for shin splints but pure professional like. Would I have been better off asking her straight out did she want to go to the match? She would be into it. What are my options now? The match is in 4 days! Juuuust ask her already lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stixx Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Juuuust ask her already lol I know! Why are people so afraid of each other? Maybe im just old and dont get bothered as quickly. No idea,,,,You tell me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stixx Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Juuuust ask her already lol My biggest delema today was getting my work done in time so I can catch the bus to the grocer. I needed fresh carrots and celery to make a lentil soup in my slow cooker. I was caught in a rain storm and this guy cant say "hello" to a girl. lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Steve51 Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 So many people are afraid to ask for what they want. That behavior is the result of a lack of confidence and fear of rejection. Most guys end up going into the deadly friend zone due to a fear of rejection. Much easier to just be a friend. First off, the internet is a lousy way to get to know anyone. All you know is what they want you to know and most people present themselves in a brighter light than they really are. You cannot see facial expressions or body language. Look at it this way. If she is going to reject you now, she will reject you later or you will be in the friend zone where it is very difficult to turn liking you as a brother into incest. I have asked girls I just met for sex and got it a few times. So what if I get rejected. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I met my wife on a train and asked her out on a date. Three weeks later we were engaged and are getting ready to celebrate our 45th wedding anniversary. My wonderful life might not have been so wonderful. It is just a football game, not an invitation to have sex. If she says no now, she will say no later. Emotional feelings cannot be willed or written into existence. There is either chemistry or not. Ask her because all you are doing is stalling what you really want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
stixx Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 So many people are afraid to ask for what they want. That behavior is the result of a lack of confidence and fear of rejection. Most guys end up going into the deadly friend zone due to a fear of rejection. Much easier to just be a friend. First off, the internet is a lousy way to get to know anyone. All you know is what they want you to know and most people present themselves in a brighter light than they really are. You cannot see facial expressions or body language. Look at it this way. If she is going to reject you now, she will reject you later or you will be in the friend zone where it is very difficult to turn liking you as a brother into incest. I have asked girls I just met for sex and got it a few times. So what if I get rejected. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I met my wife on a train and asked her out on a date. Three weeks later we were engaged and are getting ready to celebrate our 45th wedding anniversary. My wonderful life might not have been so wonderful. It is just a football game, not an invitation to have sex. If she says no now, she will say no later. Emotional feelings cannot be willed or written into existence. There is either chemistry or not. Ask her because all you are doing is stalling what you really want to know. Just walk up to a girl and ask a question. Anything anywhere... ---What do yu think about these sneakers? ---Do these pants make my a$$ look flat? Cut me a break - Im old(thats a great line). ---How do I pick a good melon? ---Does your kid like to play DOOM? ---What gonna happen in the next episode of Walking Dead? ---You like Game of Thrones? ---Whos your fav author? Really? i can ask all day long. Just dont be a dingbat and try to impress a person with something you dont know, or they may not know. If a girl has a BA in English,,,chances are she wont know what an IPO is or what melt @ POG is....And I dont know Calculus. That what small chat is about. Duh? Link to post Share on other sites
stixx Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 (edited) Just be a dumb guy. But not to dumb. Half the battle is Sun Tzu and trying to know the opponent. 25% is if you have a click with certain likes. This is the toughie for me.....that leftover 25% and if you can make her laugh and can agree that Panera has ok Panini and soup, or is walking the Freedom Trail in Boston and a fresh fish and chips cool. See the difference? Its a tough gig, but you want someone that can adapt to you and you can adapt to her. Just dont date some poor welfare that never experienced life. I dont like Panera crap, but I love a great Surf & Turf and an afternoon of hitting up antique shops....You have to be able to downgrade(your likes) and it has nothing to do with your/her income. I will go to the Ballet even though I dont like it...see? Easy stuff. Edited August 23, 2017 by stixx Link to post Share on other sites
Author breadbin Posted August 23, 2017 Author Share Posted August 23, 2017 thanks for all the replies i'll be sure to let you know how I get on. I like the suggestion of the text say how silly of me. it is a bit goofy and is me. but like that shows a bit of confidence too. i'm not back until tomorrow so might text her today. will text her today:) i'm putting it off already! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 At least you tried. I give you credit for noticing her interest and trying. You can try again since it's a date you're looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
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