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Dating 3 months after breakup


Jsos91

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Hey all,

 

I'm in need of some advice.

 

I recently went through a breakup in may from my now ex fiancée. A few weeks ago I met a girl online and we hit it off and agreed to meet. The first time we met was actually at a bar because we were both out in the area at the same time so it was a bit spontaneous. There was definitely a connection and we decided to meet for drinks the next week and we've planned to meet up again this week.

 

I found out she is also coming out of a relationship in may where she was the dumper whereas in my case I was the dumpee. We've been taking things pretty slow, not texting every second of everyday and we've only made out up to this point. I've been feeling good with her (getting butterflies and feeling nervous around her) but I'm a little nervous that us coming out of relationships recently is leading us to disaster.

 

I've noticed my guard is really up, in a way I've never felt before; I'm usually an open book and I can connect with people really well. Its also been strange because my last two relationships, the girls I was with were really fast moving and wanted to progress things quickly whereas with this girl, she's a little more reserved and keeps her cards close to the vest. Also, I found this a bit strange.. earlier this week she suggested we stay in and watch a movie together and I accepted. When we went to set then plans, she switched things to just going out for coffee. I wasn't sure if she panicked because she thought it was too early to do something like that but she seemed excited at the time when she suggested it. Another thing was the first time we hung out I offered to pick her up and she accepted but then decided she wanted to take an uber there and then I could drive her home. I just chalked that up to her wanting to be a bit independent but It's just little things like that that I'm having a hard time understanding.

 

Anyways, my question is, how likely is this to crash and burn? This girl is really tough to read, I know I like her but I'm so worried about getting attached and getting hurt again right now. I don't know if she senses that maybe I've been holding back a bit or she's worried that she's just a rebound and I'll bail.

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Michelle ma Belle

Listen, you're both fresh out of relationships that crashed and burned so it's only natural that you're both a bit gun shy about how to deal with the feelings that appear to be present and possibly even growing.

 

STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE FUTURE and learn to enjoy the moment! When you spend so much time and energy trying to predict the future you're missing out on what's happening right now. And ultimately creating a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

If you can't stop worrying about the future or all the what if's then perhaps you shouldn't be dating right now.

 

Relax. Dating comes with no guarantees. Hell, marriage doesn't even come with guarantees so stop stressing out over silly things and over analyzing things that need not be analyzed and just go with the flow.

 

Good luck.

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Listen, you're both fresh out of relationships that crashed and burned so it's only natural that you're both a bit gun shy about how to deal with the feelings that appear to be present and possibly even growing.

 

STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE FUTURE and learn to enjoy the moment! When you spend so much time and energy trying to predict the future you're missing out on what's happening right now. And ultimately creating a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

If you can't stop worrying about the future or all the what if's then perhaps you shouldn't be dating right now.

 

Relax. Dating comes with no guarantees. Hell, marriage doesn't even come with guarantees so stop stressing out over silly things and over analyzing things that need not be analyzed and just go with the flow.

 

Good luck.

 

Bravo. This is perfect. Read this post 50 times and then go have fun.

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Hey all,

 

I'm in need of some advice.

 

I recently went through a breakup in may from my now ex fiancée. A few weeks ago I met a girl online and we hit it off and agreed to meet. The first time we met was actually at a bar because we were both out in the area at the same time so it was a bit spontaneous. There was definitely a connection and we decided to meet for drinks the next week and we've planned to meet up again this week.

 

I found out she is also coming out of a relationship in may where she was the dumper whereas in my case I was the dumpee. We've been taking things pretty slow, not texting every second of everyday and we've only made out up to this point. I've been feeling good with her (getting butterflies and feeling nervous around her) but I'm a little nervous that us coming out of relationships recently is leading us to disaster.

 

I've noticed my guard is really up, in a way I've never felt before; I'm usually an open book and I can connect with people really well. Its also been strange because my last two relationships, the girls I was with were really fast moving and wanted to progress things quickly whereas with this girl, she's a little more reserved and keeps her cards close to the vest. Also, I found this a bit strange.. earlier this week she suggested we stay in and watch a movie together and I accepted. When we went to set then plans, she switched things to just going out for coffee. I wasn't sure if she panicked because she thought it was too early to do something like that but she seemed excited at the time when she suggested it. Another thing was the first time we hung out I offered to pick her up and she accepted but then decided she wanted to take an uber there and then I could drive her home. I just chalked that up to her wanting to be a bit independent but It's just little things like that that I'm having a hard time understanding.

 

Anyways, my question is, how likely is this to crash and burn? This girl is really tough to read, I know I like her but I'm so worried about getting attached and getting hurt again right now. I don't know if she senses that maybe I've been holding back a bit or she's worried that she's just a rebound and I'll bail.

 

The woman I am with today did the same as you describe, but now everything had fit into the correct way. Give it time heartbreak can become love as love can become happiness once again for you both. Be patient, caring and understanding to her needs and yours. Don't you want the best from her and you then wait! Don't rush things, give her the time and space. She's making an effort soon she'll be driving with you only and you can kiss goodbye the Uber once and fall all.. That happens when she feels that she can trust you!

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Listen, you're both fresh out of relationships that crashed and burned so it's only natural that you're both a bit gun shy about how to deal with the feelings that appear to be present and possibly even growing.

 

STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE FUTURE and learn to enjoy the moment! When you spend so much time and energy trying to predict the future you're missing out on what's happening right now. And ultimately creating a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

If you can't stop worrying about the future or all the what if's then perhaps you shouldn't be dating right now.

 

Relax. Dating comes with no guarantees. Hell, marriage doesn't even come with guarantees so stop stressing out over silly things and over analyzing things that need not be analyzed and just go with the flow.

 

Good luck.

 

Do I have your permission to tattoo this on my forearm for easy reference?

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