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Mixed Signals


pixel_hungry

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pixel_hungry

I met a guy online that I really liked and felt connected to. After a week of messaging and exchanging flirty texts, he asked me for a drink. We hang out and I really like him (that was on Saturday). We have texted everyday since then and had funny/flirty interactions. On Wednesday, he has asked me for a drink again and we agreed to do it on Friday. Friday came around, I sent him a text message, we chatted, and I've asked him what time does he want to meet up. He said he is free after work, but then sent a message saying that his brother came in town as a surprise for his birthday and he is sorry but he has to cancel. I took it calmly, joked about my birthday being on the same week and told him to have fun! No text or re-schedule on Saturday. I messaged him on Sunday morning asking how him time was. We exchanged a few messages and on Monday morning I responded with a question. He didn't say anything all day. I assumed that he isn't interested in continuing talking and deleted his number. He messaged me a really sweet text the next day about my birthday coming up, then told me happy birthday next day and asked me questions. Eventually, he stopped to respond. I sent him a casual message next day asking if he wants to drub a drink. He responded with "Hell, yeah I do!". Long story short we met up on Sunday for a drink and hang out for three hours. When we parted way he told me that he is looking forward to telling me how his trip goes (he is leaving to Europe on Wednesday). We said goodbyes and I haven't heard from him. Since I really liked the guy from the two dates that we had, I told about it to my friend and she convinced me to message him and let him know. That's not what I would normally do, since I don't want to come off too strong but I did it anyways. I said "I really like hanging out with you and enjoyed our time on Sunday! I hope your trip goes well". I think he has already left to travel by the time I sent it. Did I come off too strong? Was it too much too soon? Should I take him not talking to me as a sign that he isn't interested?

 

I get dating anxiety and tend to worry too much for no reason sometimes!

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He has a life. It includes family members who pop in for birthday celebrations & trips to Europe. He is out of his routine, enjoying traveling, not being tied to his phone which might not even work there & living life.

 

 

You are the cute fun person he had 3 drinks with. He'll get back in touch when he gets home. Expect very little contact while he's away but understand that has absolutely nothing to do with you. He's just on vacation. You are not a priority at the moment nor should you be.

 

 

Simmer down. Keep yourself busy. See him when he gets home.

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pixel_hungry
He has a life. It includes family members who pop in for birthday celebrations & trips to Europe. He is out of his routine, enjoying traveling, not being tied to his phone which might not even work there & living life.

 

 

You are the cute fun person he had 3 drinks with. He'll get back in touch when he gets home. Expect very little contact while he's away but understand that has absolutely nothing to do with you. He's just on vacation. You are not a priority at the moment nor should you be.

 

 

Simmer down. Keep yourself busy. See him when he gets home.

 

Thank you for your response! I don't expect communication while he is on vacation at all. But, we used to message everyday and not anymore. I initiated the second date which was on Sunday and he didn't send me a single message before he left on Wednesday. Even simple "hey, I had fun, will be gone for two weeks looking forward to seeing you!" would do. That's what makes me think he isn't really interested in me

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Cookiesandough

He doesn't sound too interested. My guess is you are on the backburner. This is behavior indicative of that. Tell you why. The first time you felt the need to confirm, he was dodgy but you thought you were still on, then he canceled, he did not immediately try to set up an alternative date. When a person is interested and they have to cancel, at the very least they suggest a vague alternative. They don't leave you hanging. After that, I see a lot of chasing from you. Initiating conversation etc. when you asked him out for drinks and he had nothing better going on, he agreed. Now he is faded out again. This is just not behavior from an interested man. Sorry. Good news is there are a lot of interested guys out there

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pixel_hungry
He doesn't sound too interested. My guess is you are on the backburner. This is behavior indicative of that. Tell you why. The first time you felt the need to confirm, he was dodgy but you thought you were still on, then he canceled, he did not immediately try to set up an alternative date. When a person is interested and they have to cancel, at the very least they suggest a vague alternative. They don't leave you hanging. After that, I see a lot of chasing from you. Initiating conversation etc. when you asked him out for drinks and he had nothing better going on, he agreed. Now he is faded out again. This is just not behavior from an interested man. Sorry. Good news is there are a lot of interested guys out there

 

Thank you! That's exactly what I thought too! Good to hear it from somebody else though. What threw me off are his sweet messages on my birthday and initiating the conversation after he cancelled. May be to continue stringing me along?

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You are on the back burner but at this very very early stage that is where you belong. Have a little faith & see what happens when he gets home.

 

 

If he's still cool then, move on.

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He isn't going to get into anything too serious at this time...he might meet someone on his trip!

 

You put him on the back burner and go out on dates with other guys in the meantime. Always keep your options open.

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Cookiesandough
Thank you! That's exactly what I thought too! Good to hear it from somebody else though. What threw me off are his sweet messages on my birthday and initiating the conversation after he cancelled. May be to continue stringing me along?

 

 

Yep, that's exactly why. If it's this hard to get dates with someone, they flake and don't reschedule, and yet they continue to send texts occasionally - 9 times out of 10 that is what is happening. They should be really wanting to see you at the beginning!!!

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pixel_hungry

Ok, thank you everybody, that was very helpful! I'm not investing into the situation anymore and started talking to other people for my own sake!

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Ok, thank you everybody, that was very helpful! I'm not investing into the situation anymore and started talking to other people for my own sake!

You go girl!;)

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