Playing with fire?

[CryForNoOne]

There's a beautiful waitress at a bar that I frequent whom I've had a crush on since I met her about a year ago. We talked all night that night and she was single at the time and definitely interested. We hinted at going snowboarding together but I was still trying to reconcile with my ex whom I have a 3 year old daughter with and I decided not to ask her out. I intentionally stayed away from the bar for a while to avoid temptation. Well a few months later, once I had concluded things were definitely over with my ex, I decided to ask her out. Naturally, she now had a boyfriend so that was that. Anyway, I see her every few weeks and I always get a huge smile and she always makes a point to come over and talk to me for a while. Well last night she bought a pint after her shift was over and came over to sit with me. She was also eating a dinner from Whole Foods. I asked her if the bar got annoyed that she never ate their food and she said "Oh no, one of the regulars always buys me dinner from Whole Foods." So another thing about her is that she has this impossibly friendly and disarming demeanor for someone who is so beautiful. I'm probably the 500th guy who has a crush on her. She literally has guys fawning all over her 24/7. She's kinda like the real life "There's Something About Mary".

 

Anyway, another guy (who probably also has a crush on her) invites both of us to another bar. He basically disappears once we get there and the two of us end up hanging out the rest of the night. At some point she tells me her boyfriend lives about 50 miles away, which in LA means 2.5 hours with traffic, and that they rarely see each other. She also muttered something about them fighting right now, but I didn't go there. We end up playing a ton of bar games - pool, skeeball, and air hockey. Not sure how it came up, but we decided to start messing with people. Basically, each of us got to pick a member of the opposite sex and the other had to approach them and ask a ridiculous question. For instance "Can you lick your elbows? I read that only 12% of people can lick their elbows?" It was hilarious how embarrassed the targets became, especially if they were in a large group when we approached them. We had so much fun doing it, we pledged to make it a regular thing. I drove her home after last call. When I dropped her off, she asked me to text her when I got home. I told her I didn't have her number so she grabbed my phone and called herself.

 

Now today we're texting. I definitely feel like I'm entering the danger zone. I mean, absolutely nothing sexual or flirty happened last night, but it's obvious we have crazy chemistry or at least the ability to make each other laugh endlessly. I also believe in the bro code even if I don't know the guy - so hitting on women with boyfriends is kinda off limits for me. So I'm wondering if I should back peddle on this pledge to go bar hopping together to mess with people. I mean I obviously still have a crush on her, but feel like there is a very high likelihood it will end badly. Out of sight is out of mind for me so I won't pine for her if I don't see her, but we're on the verge here of becoming much closer...

[Chilli]

Yep , back peddle ,leave other couples alone and stay away from her,it's the only decent thing to do.

Maybe they implode themselves down the track ,maybe they don't.

 

Besides , the timing always seems to be off anyway so it's probably just not meant to be.

[shy_actor]

I dunno. It kinda sounds like the timing is pretty good to me. A girl like that will always have the guys lining up so you'll be waiting forever if you want perfect circumstances. You don't know each other very well, yet she's willing to offer up that she's having problems with her BF. Even if she likes you, she's probably waiting for you to make the first move since she has a BF. If she did make the first move, I'd never be able to trust her. Then again, I'm not sure I'd even want to date a girl who is spending all night at bars with men if she's supposedly in a committed relationship with me..

[CryForNoOne]

Even if she likes you, she's probably waiting for you to make the first move since she has a BF. If she did make the first move, I'd never be able to trust her. Then again, I'm not sure I'd even want to date a girl who is spending all night at bars with men if she's supposedly in a committed relationship with me..

Yeah even when she was single she struck me as the type who wasn't going to make the first move. And what's wrong with spending all night at bars considering she works at one???

[preraph]

I'd tell her, Look, I don't want to get in the middle of someone and their boyfriend, but if you are not exclusive with him, I would really love to date you.

[diddilybop]

do you really want to be with a woman who's emotionally cheating on her boyfriend? danger zone is right. if you're still really interested in her, please respect her, her boyfriend, their relationship and respect yourself by telling her that nothing can happen between you two unless she's single or if they have an arrangement where they're allowed to see other people (an open relationship).

[CryForNoOne]

do you really want to be with a woman who's emotionally cheating on her boyfriend? danger zone is right. if you're still really interested in her, please respect her, her boyfriend, their relationship and respect yourself by telling her that nothing can happen between you two unless she's single or if they have an arrangement where they're allowed to see other people (an open relationship).

 

She's definitely not the open relationship type. She's a nursing student who is waiting tables at a bar to make ends meet. She seems to be from a pretty traditional family in Virginia. Definitely the marrying type.

 

I think I'm going to just keep things fun and casual. If she's going to breakup with her boyfriend, it will happen with or without me. I'd rather not instigate it. I'm doing what I always do when I am trying to get my mind off a particular women - I line up a bunch of dates on OLD...

[maxi105]

if anything IS going to happen with her it will happen I guess - once she decides to become single!

 

if she doesn't then you ARE playing with fire!!!! and maybe that is something that you are enjoying now you are not getting burnt, but there is no guarantee that she wont burn you badly - the longer these games go on!!!!

 

maybe you need to see things a bit clearer and step back from all of these bar visits!!!! she is a barmaid and its her job to be a friendly hostess, just as if she was a barman It would be her job to be the friendly host! you are probably not that special to her as she works in a fun environment where other people also make her feel special and are treating her like a queen for the night...the guy that buys her meals...etc...

 

she's loving it and it passes the time with her mates at work (probably laughing at you behind your back and mocking the punters who flirt with her) .

 

people who work in fun places or in places where others are out to have fun often enjoy the times most of all (after several shifts on) when they have time off and can probably hit some other bar with their true mates or partners because they can fully relax, spend their hard earned cash and let the night go the way they want, not how others demand or hope it will go.

 

the bottom line is she WAS single and you didn't ask her out!!!!

 

now she has someone she has it all,

 

guys fawning over her, buying her stuff and she also has her mans attention.

 

has she ever said she loves YOU over him????? I doubt that has been the conversation (but I could be wrong...who knows)!

 

but what I do suspect is that she probably doesn't even need you the way you think or eventually hopes she might, as she has all the attention and flattering admirers at her every move!!!!

 

she isn't doing anything wrong in just talking to you (however intimately and cosy its all getting - providing it is just talking), however - the only mugs here I'm afraid are you, the other punters that fancy her and are taking it more seriously at having a chance with her, and her boyfriend (if) she cheats on him physically in any way to be with you. but that is an "if" still at this stage. and it sounds like its a fantasy at that!!!!!

 

 

I don't get the messing with other peoples heads for fun bit! and then finding it hilarious to embarrass them!!!! that all sounds pretty immature and dim if I'm honest...

 

how old are you???

 

and if anything; that kind of stupidity (however harmless or funny you think it is at the moment) might actually get you into more serious trouble if your not careful especially if people suddenly take against you!!!!!!

 

not everyone finds it funny to be made a fool of or have people setting them up...and sooner or later your stupid games will be seen through - so dont be surprised if someone decides to hit back at you or give you a sharp dose of public humiliation when their mates suddenly turn on you!!!!!!

 

take the hint whilst you still can and drop this "playing the *******" act to show off to her!!!!

 

there might just be someone out there who you decide to upset for fun who is harder, bigger and badder than you, and who is only too keen to knock you down a peg or two publically with a black eye or broken bones!!!!

...and you will have no one to blame but yourself!!!!

 

maybe its time to grow up a bit emotionally...sorry! but from what I see in your post, you don't actually have anything real in terms of love or real friendship with this girl!!!!!!!

 

even the setting up of others is faked quality time with her, and it sounds like she is just passing the time when she has nothing better to do!

 

maybe its time to start visiting another bar or looking for a single girl who you don't have to show off to or try to find a more mature female who can teach you how to be more secure in yourself and in your actions so you don't have to carry on in this rather desperate way!

 

seriously though, drop the messing with peoples heads bit!!! you only have to look at the local papers to understand that people can turn on you when you out of the blue...particularly where alcohol is involved!!!!!

[CryForNoOne]

if anything IS going to happen with her it will happen I guess - once she decides to become single!

 

if she doesn't then you ARE playing with fire!!!! and maybe that is something that you are enjoying now you are not getting burnt, but there is no guarantee that she wont burn you badly - the longer these games go on!!!!

 

maybe you need to see things a bit clearer and step back from all of these bar visits!!!! she is a barmaid and its her job to be a friendly hostess, just as if she was a barman It would be her job to be the friendly host! you are probably not that special to her as she works in a fun environment where other people also make her feel special and are treating her like a queen for the night...the guy that buys her meals...etc...

 

she's loving it and it passes the time with her mates at work (probably laughing at you behind your back and mocking the punters who flirt with her) .

 

people who work in fun places or in places where others are out to have fun often enjoy the times most of all (after several shifts on) when they have time off and can probably hit some other bar with their true mates or partners because they can fully relax, spend their hard earned cash and let the night go the way they want, not how others demand or hope it will go.

 

the bottom line is she WAS single and you didn't ask her out!!!!

 

now she has someone she has it all,

 

guys fawning over her, buying her stuff and she also has her mans attention.

 

has she ever said she loves YOU over him????? I doubt that has been the conversation (but I could be wrong...who knows)!

 

but what I do suspect is that she probably doesn't even need you the way you think or eventually hopes she might, as she has all the attention and flattering admirers at her every move!!!!

 

she isn't doing anything wrong in just talking to you (however intimately and cosy its all getting - providing it is just talking), however - the only mugs here I'm afraid are you, the other punters that fancy her and are taking it more seriously at having a chance with her, and her boyfriend (if) she cheats on him physically in any way to be with you. but that is an "if" still at this stage. and it sounds like its a fantasy at that!!!!!

 

 

I don't get the messing with other peoples heads for fun bit! and then finding it hilarious to embarrass them!!!! that all sounds pretty immature and dim if I'm honest...

 

how old are you???

 

and if anything; that kind of stupidity (however harmless or funny you think it is at the moment) might actually get you into more serious trouble if your not careful especially if people suddenly take against you!!!!!!

 

not everyone finds it funny to be made a fool of or have people setting them up...and sooner or later your stupid games will be seen through - so dont be surprised if someone decides to hit back at you or give you a sharp dose of public humiliation when their mates suddenly turn on you!!!!!!

 

take the hint whilst you still can and drop this "playing the *******" act to show off to her!!!!

 

there might just be someone out there who you decide to upset for fun who is harder, bigger and badder than you, and who is only too keen to knock you down a peg or two publically with a black eye or broken bones!!!!

...and you will have no one to blame but yourself!!!!

 

maybe its time to grow up a bit emotionally...sorry! but from what I see in your post, you don't actually have anything real in terms of love or real friendship with this girl!!!!!!!

 

even the setting up of others is faked quality time with her, and it sounds like she is just passing the time when she has nothing better to do!

 

maybe its time to start visiting another bar or looking for a single girl who you don't have to show off to or try to find a more mature female who can teach you how to be more secure in yourself and in your actions so you don't have to carry on in this rather desperate way!

 

seriously though, drop the messing with peoples heads bit!!! you only have to look at the local papers to understand that people can turn on you when you out of the blue...particularly where alcohol is involved!!!!!

 

Whoa! Why all the hostility???

 

My band has a residency at the bar she works at but we play on a night that she's not working. I like to hang out there sometimes tho. She invited me out on Thursday, not the other way around. So I think I qualify as one of those "true mates" as we went to another bar, not where she works.

 

Why on earth would she say she loves me??? I barely know her!!! We had one pseudo date a year ago, about a dozen brief interactions, and then Thursday night.

 

Why is it immature and dim to say something silly to complete strangers? We're the one's who should be embarrassed, yet they are. It tells me much more about their insecurities than mine or hers. If people weren't so damn self conscious and so wrapped up in their own ****, dating wouldn't be 1/10th as hard as it is...

 

And I was neither showing off to her nor am I desperate. It was her idea. It was not mean spirited and everybody laughed in the end. That's one of the things that is so endearing about her. She's not just a wallflower who sits there thinking "OK impress me". She's acts just like one of the guys.

[CryForNoOne]

This situation is getting a whole lot more complicated. I met someone about 3 weeks ago and we've been spending a lot of time together. We've been sleeping together since the first date so it's gotten intense and intimate since the first date. I still barely know her but I like her a lot. She's not my GF yet but we're moving in that direction very quickly.

 

So last night I went back to the bar where the waitress I've had a crush on works. It was trivia night and she immediately recruited me to join her team. I arrived at 8PM for 1 drink but she got off at 10PM and she sucked me in as she usually does so and we ended up hanging out, doing shots the whole night until last call. At one point she proclaimed that she was never getting married and was going to do IVF. She went on and on about how she's a very simple girl and none of the guys she dates ever listen to her advice she gives on how to make her happy. She never mentioned her BF once, but it was pretty clear they just broke up. There were several moments where it was painfully obvious that she was paving a path and just waiting for me to make a move. Which I didn't.

 

I really like the new girl I just started dating - but it sort of feels like a fling. I'm afraid of ruining my friendship with waitress and if things don't work out, it would be a problem going back to the bar. My band has a residency there and I hang out there a lot. I'm very tight with everybody there from the owner to bartenders and bouncers. It's my Cheers. As a matter of fact, after last night, I'm sure the rumor mill has started about us. Her roommate was bartending last night and kept on feeding us drinks and shots (which were all comped). It felt like they were setting me up.

 

Anyway, I often drive her home but last night I slipped out the back door and let her Uber. I was drunk so walked home. But mainly I didn't want to be alone with her. I knew what was going to happen next. I have a date tonight with new girl, but I woke up and waitress was on my mind. I see so much more LTR potential with her but our timing is just awful awful awful.

Edited September 7, 2017 by CryForNoOne

[kendahke]

There's a beautiful waitress at a bar that I frequent whom I've had a crush on since I met her about a year ago. We talked all night that night and she was single at the time and definitely interested. We hinted at going snowboarding together but I was still trying to reconcile with my ex whom I have a 3 year old daughter with and I decided not to ask her out. I intentionally stayed away from the bar for a while to avoid temptation. Well a few months later, once I had concluded things were definitely over with my ex, I decided to ask her out. Naturally, she now had a boyfriend so that was that. Anyway, I see her every few weeks and I always get a huge smile and she always makes a point to come over and talk to me for a while. Well last night she bought a pint after her shift was over and came over to sit with me. She was also eating a dinner from Whole Foods. I asked her if the bar got annoyed that she never ate their food and she said "Oh no, one of the regulars always buys me dinner from Whole Foods." So another thing about her is that she has this impossibly friendly and disarming demeanor for someone who is so beautiful. I'm probably the 500th guy who has a crush on her. She literally has guys fawning all over her 24/7. She's kinda like the real life "There's Something About Mary".

 

Anyway, another guy (who probably also has a crush on her) invites both of us to another bar. He basically disappears once we get there and the two of us end up hanging out the rest of the night. At some point she tells me her boyfriend lives about 50 miles away, which in LA means 2.5 hours with traffic, and that they rarely see each other. She also muttered something about them fighting right now, but I didn't go there. We end up playing a ton of bar games - pool, skeeball, and air hockey. Not sure how it came up, but we decided to start messing with people. Basically, each of us got to pick a member of the opposite sex and the other had to approach them and ask a ridiculous question. For instance "Can you lick your elbows? I read that only 12% of people can lick their elbows?" It was hilarious how embarrassed the targets became, especially if they were in a large group when we approached them. We had so much fun doing it, we pledged to make it a regular thing. I drove her home after last call. When I dropped her off, she asked me to text her when I got home. I told her I didn't have her number so she grabbed my phone and called herself.

 

Now today we're texting. I definitely feel like I'm entering the danger zone. I mean, absolutely nothing sexual or flirty happened last night, but it's obvious we have crazy chemistry or at least the ability to make each other laugh endlessly. I also believe in the bro code even if I don't know the guy - so hitting on women with boyfriends is kinda off limits for me. So I'm wondering if I should back peddle on this pledge to go bar hopping together to mess with people. I mean I obviously still have a crush on her, but feel like there is a very high likelihood it will end badly. Out of sight is out of mind for me so I won't pine for her if I don't see her, but we're on the verge here of becoming much closer...

 

What would you want us to tell her boyfriend if he wrote in about suspecting that his LDR girlfriend was monkey branching to some random dude while calling herself in a relationship with him?

[CryForNoOne]

What would you want us to tell her boyfriend if he wrote in about suspecting that his LDR girlfriend was monkey branching to some random dude while calling herself in a relationship with him?

 

Read my update this morning. She's single again. I don't know for sure, but everything she said and did last night made it clear. She also knows I have a new GF as we talk about my love life sometimes...

[kendahke]

Whoa! Why all the hostility???.

 

Actually, Maxi does have a point, direct as it may be.

 

Unhinged drunks can go from zero to a gazllion over seemingly innocuous things and these are people neither of you know--you dont' know what frame of mind they're in other than inebriated. Some guys may not appreciate being made to look like an idiot in front of his mates and you're putting your so-called friend in a really dangerous situation with someone spinning around and smashing a beer glass upside her head for being cheeky, so...

 

Read my update this morning.

 

My question still stands. Once again, a third person is in the mix who is unaware of your intentions.

Edited September 7, 2017 by kendahke

[smackie9]

So what is your real question here? You say you two are in this so called danger zone (emotional affair) while she has a BF. Take a step back. She has np over stepping her boundaries with another guy while she has a BF. You see what I'm getting at? If she is willing to do this kind of behavior, she's going to do it to you.

 

She has guys swooning over her all the time....of course she will constantly keep her options open. You ain't gonna be that special one who she will be devoted to.

[TaxMan]

She has guys swooning over her all the time....of course she will constantly keep her options open. You ain't gonna be that special one who she will be devoted to.

 

I'm not so sure about this, TBH. Just because she's good looking and has people swooning over her doesn't mean she's not looking for one special person to be with. Her previous LTR was long-distance. That's usually not going to work for long. Not every hot bartender is going to be constantly going from one partner to the next, some actually want something real.

 

I'd advise the OP to go for the one he's thinking about when he wakes up in the morning. I know from experience that if you choose the path of least resistance, you're likely to be disappointed at some point down the line. If you really have strong feelings for this woman, put your cards on the table, make a move and try to be with her.

[CryForNoOne]

I hung out with waitress again on Thursday night. Me and two buddies were at the bar where she works and she joined us when we decided to go to another bar. As always, we went as a group but the two of us end up talking exclusively almost the whole night. Both of my friends came over at different points when she was away and said "Dude, I think she really likes you..." If only it were so obvious to me.

 

Someone has definitely friendzoned the other but I'm not quite sure who anymore... Early in the evening, I made a joke about us both being single again (we were both dating someone until recently) but she said she's still kinda with her ex. Very ambiguous but I kind of took it as a stop sign. But then she gravitates toward me the whole night. After last call, my buddy invites all of us over to his place for an after party (3 guys and her). She accepts, and I'm thinking WTF??? We wind up sitting on the couch together watching a concert. My two friends are in the room, so I'm not going to make a move. To further complicate matters, I actually had a pretty bad cold (and probably shouldn't have even gone out) so there was no way I was going to try to get intimate with her and get her sick. So instead, I just sat there until I passed out from some combination of sickness, tired, and buzz. I briefly remember waking up as she got up to leave and thinking to myself "oh man, did I eff that up..." I kinda felt like an a$$ for just sitting there doing nothing and then passing out. I usually text her the next morning just to let her know I got home safely and we chat a little bit but I decided not to. She texted me at about 3PM Friday which I thought was significant because I've always initiated. Perhaps she was waiting for my text and never got it. Anyway, she told me I was "so cute last night snoring on my shoulder". So I guess she wasn't too pissed. She used to call me "matey" which I thought was about the most platonic thing you could call a guy. She isn't doing that anymore.

 

So I can't figure out if she's waiting for me to make the first move here or what? I'm not even sure I want to right now. I've wanted to date her forever but she had a boyfriend. Now that she's kinda single, I'm not getting butterflies around her anymore and I'm also still kinda hung up on somebody else that I was recently dating. I also worry about if we do start dating and things don't work out, what a mess it would be at her workplace. I'm good friends with several people who work there and gig or hang out there all the time.

 

I'd like to know if she really likes me or not. Perhaps I should just ask her out on a proper date, outside of the bar. If she says no, we can just continue being drinking buddies without all this ambiguity. It's reached the point where it's just this cloud hanging over us every time I see her or we text...

[caitlinf33]

CryForNoOne you gave me some good advice so I thought I would return the favor.

 

First off, you aren't long-term friends so the fact that she would discuss her problems with her (ex?) boyfriend says to me she is trying to clear a pth for you. She wouldn't bring it up if she didn't want you to make a move.

 

I have to say though that the timing of all of this seems suspicious to me. You indicated you had started dating someone and now all of a sudden, she wants to hang out? She may have been interested before but now is pulling out all the stops since she senses you may be entering into a serious relationship.

 

I think you could be playing with someone who is manipulative and seeking attention. She obviously gets a lot of it from what you write, and now is going after the one she may no longer be able to get.

 

If you move forward, I think I would continue to see other people. You say you were enjoying the new girl's company - she sounds like she may be more stable than the bartender. I also think you may be attracted to the bartender b/c of the uncertainty there. I don't like being strung along, and would bever advocate for someone else to do that to a girl but sounds like cutting off the GF you like for someone who may just be interested in the chase is a bad move!

[elaine567]

 

If you move forward, I think I would continue to see other people. You say you were enjoying the new girl's company - she sounds like she may be more stable than the bartender. I also think you may be attracted to the bartender b/c of the uncertainty there. I don't like being strung along, and would bever advocate for someone else to do that to a girl but sounds like cutting off the GF you like for someone who may just be interested in the chase is a bad move!

 

Er no, the other girl (if it is the same one) has just gone back to her ex and is keeping Cryofnoone on the back burner. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/634995-new-love-interest-got-back-together-ex

[caitlinf33]

Elaine567 really? I am confused! Thought it was the waitress who got back together with her ex. Not the new GF CryForNoOne had met and had mixed feelings about give sudden interest from the waitress!

[CryForNoOne]

Er no, the other girl (if it is the same one) has just gone back to her ex and is keeping Cryofnoone on the back burner. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/634995-new-love-interest-got-back-together-ex

 

Yup. That is correct. That one actually broke NC and texted me last night. She was at a bar very close to where I live and texted me a pic of our favorite beer we'd drink together. It didn't take very long before she texted that she misses me and wants to see me. I told her I was out of town (I am) but back Sunday night. She went silent after that. It was definitely drunk texting...

[CryForNoOne]

Elaine567 really? I am confused! Thought it was the waitress who got back together with her ex. Not the new GF CryForNoOne had met and had mixed feelings about give sudden interest from the waitress!

LOL. It's a mess. I met this girl at the supermarket about 5 weeks ago. Things were great for the first few weeks then after we started sleeping with each other, she told me she was getting back together with her BF. I told her she couldn't have her cake and eat it too and we agreed to end things. I knew she was going to come back tho and sure enough she texted me last night. I didn't even want to bring that up because I'm not seriously considering dating her anymore. She seems to view me as a booty call so I'm not going to view her as anything else either...

[CryForNoOne]

CryForNoOne you gave me some good advice so I thought I would return the favor.

 

First off, you aren't long-term friends so the fact that she would discuss her problems with her (ex?) boyfriend says to me she is trying to clear a pth for you. She wouldn't bring it up if she didn't want you to make a move.

 

I have to say though that the timing of all of this seems suspicious to me. You indicated you had started dating someone and now all of a sudden, she wants to hang out? She may have been interested before but now is pulling out all the stops since she senses you may be entering into a serious relationship.

 

I think you could be playing with someone who is manipulative and seeking attention. She obviously gets a lot of it from what you write, and now is going after the one she may no longer be able to get.

 

If you move forward, I think I would continue to see other people. You say you were enjoying the new girl's company - she sounds like she may be more stable than the bartender. I also think you may be attracted to the bartender b/c of the uncertainty there. I don't like being strung along, and would bever advocate for someone else to do that to a girl but sounds like cutting off the GF you like for someone who may just be interested in the chase is a bad move!

 

She's not the manipulative type. I'm pretty sure of that. Again we have lots of mutual friends and she has a reputation for being an angel. She's very pretty but she's not a 10, at least by Hollywood standards. She's the beautiful girl next door type which is much rarer in LA than the fake boobs, plastic surgery types that are everywhere...

 

The two of them actually met a couple weeks ago. It is a little suspicious though. The first time I brought her there, waitress completely ignored us. That's a first ever as she always comes over to say hi to me even when I've brought other dates. I asked her about it the next time I saw her and she swears she never saw me in the bar. I suppose that is possible but it seemed a little odd. I thought she was just keeping her distance but maybe she was a little jealous now or maybe she's telling the truth. Anyway, the second time I brought the new GF, I made a point to introduce her. Waitress texted me the next day and told me she thought my new GF was super cute, but then I told her we actually broke up that night (we did). Anyway, I wonder if that whole thing about girls suddenly becoming interested in a guy when other women are interested is coming into play here...

[caitlinf33]

It's funny, I see so much of younger me in the waitress. I have always been the type to sideline the guys who care, and chase after the ones who don't as much. It's an ego thing. And all about coming out on top.

 

I have been in that exact situation of meeting a guy's GF and complilenting him on her. It's a power play thing - to give off the signal that i am a cool girl and pretend that i really don't care so much about him. Though secretly hoping the next time we talk he will tell me he has broken it off.

 

Don't be fooled by the "angel" thing. Just because someone can be a kind,caring person genuinely, I think all bets are off the table when it comes to what the heart wants.

 

I hope this doesn't come off as overly callous. My friends would tell you I am an angel too and I really am a good-hearted and sincere person. Just get a little crazy sometimes when it comes to boys. Comes from a place of insecurity and attention-seeking/affirmation-wanting. It just sounds to me like the waitress may be of the same disposition ....