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why wont she invite me to family party


Stephenj

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I've been with my gf for 4-5 months and had our ups and downs. We split for all of a few days only to get back together. Ive know for a while that she has arranged to see a family member for a night out. I now hear its a family party. I've not been invited. Also , I've not been introduced to her imediate family at all. I've introduced her to my immediate family but she has not and has said that she didnt feel certain of the relationship. but surely 4-5 months in i should be invited to a family party? any advice?

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but surely 4-5 months in i should be invited to a family party? any advice?

 

No, not under your circumstances.

 

You are on unstable ground, your relationship isn't unfolding smoothly and within 4-5 months you've broken up more than once. She is right to not bring you over yet.

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we broke up once........and up to that 4 month point...never introduced me to her family

 

Why did you break up?

 

When someone doesn't want to introduce you to their family it's because they are uncertain of you.

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Ups and downs, broke up, only 4 month in. This relationship is still on trial hun. She might have a traditional family, and won't be inviting you to a family party until there is an engagement ring on her finger. At this time you still have a lot to prove of your integrity to pass meeting the family test.

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Considering the volatile nature of your relationship so far with the breaks up and get back togethers, I'm guessing she's feeling that what you have doesn't give her enough confidence to bring you into her inner circle.

 

4-5 months in with splits and up/down episodes is the textbook definition of instability and perhaps she doesn't want to bring that mess to her family.

 

You did what you did because you wanted to do that. You didn't give to get in this sense, did you? She's not you and she doesn't have to do what you did.

 

I would instead focus on how you're adding to the issues of why you two have ups and downs and split ups. Once you've got that resolved, you will more than likely get your invite.

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we broke up once........

 

 

that doesn't matter--at 4 months, you should still be in the "honey-moon, can't get enough of you, time to dismiss the representatives" phase.

 

It would appear the representatives were sent packing by the 3rd day and the real you and her have been in command and have steered the ship onto the rocks.

 

You're at the point where weak foundational relationships disintegrate and that's what's going on here.

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I've been with my gf for 4-5 months and had our ups and downs. We split for all of a few days only to get back together. Ive know for a while that she has arranged to see a family member for a night out. I now hear its a family party. I've not been invited. Also , I've not been introduced to her imediate family at all. I've introduced her to my immediate family but she has not and has said that she didnt feel certain of the relationship. but surely 4-5 months in i should be invited to a family party? any advice?

 

She might have someone else beside you. Just never know with women like her that's why she hasn't brought you around her family. Before you broken up have you met her family if not then that's another red flag. So you have on and off relationship any talk of "I love you or I am in love with you" from her prior to the break-up? What caused that first break-up? You had said there was many of them?

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She might have someone else beside you. Just never know with women like her that's why she hasn't brought you around her family. Before you broken up have you met her family if not then that's another red flag. So you have on and off relationship any talk of "I love you or I am in love with you" from her prior to the break-up? What caused that first break-up? You had said there was many of them?

 

we only broke up once for a few days!.....she did say she loved me yes....i've never met her family......she felt things were too intense, but she was the intense one at the beginning and then later blamed me.

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Ups and downs, broke up, only 4 month in. This relationship is still on trial hun. She might have a traditional family, and won't be inviting you to a family party until there is an engagement ring on her finger. At this time you still have a lot to prove of your integrity to pass meeting the family test.

 

engagement ring???....woah...doesnt really go like that here in UK...I have to prove MY integrity...doesnt the woman have to prove anything...seems to me the ball is always in the womans half of the court if thats true

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that doesn't matter--at 4 months, you should still be in the "honey-moon, can't get enough of you, time to dismiss the representatives" phase.

 

It would appear the representatives were sent packing by the 3rd day and the real you and her have been in command and have steered the ship onto the rocks.

 

You're at the point where weak foundational relationships disintegrate and that's what's going on here.

 

we were in a honeymoon phase but she seems to gone off boil and I still want more and thats partially caused issues

(please write english...I'm not american but UK so dont understand the representative refs)

)

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we were in a honeymoon phase but she seems to gone off boil and I still want more and thats partially caused issues

(please write english...I'm not american but UK so dont understand the representative refs)

)

 

Sugar, that IS the Queen's English and people on here who are from the UK understand what that means.

 

Since you don't understand, it means everyone is on their best behavior in the first 3-6 months of a relationship. It's when familiarity begins setting in and a level of being comfortable around them sets in that the person who was putting the best foot forward is dismissed and who the real person is comes to the fore.

 

Breaking up, even for a few days, is indicative that the "best foot forward" aspect of your personalities had been dismissed a long time ago. Breaking up and having ups and downs this soon in the relationship means you two are not compatible with one another because you can't seem to get onto the same page, let alone the same book.

 

You're at the point where weak foundational relationships begin to fail. This has run its course if you two can't get on an even keel and it's less than 6 months of knowing one another.

Edited by kendahke
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I've been with my gf for 4-5 months and had our ups and downs. We split for all of a few days only to get back together. Ive know for a while that she has arranged to see a family member for a night out. I now hear its a family party. I've not been invited. Also , I've not been introduced to her imediate family at all. I've introduced her to my immediate family but she has not and has said that she didnt feel certain of the relationship. but surely 4-5 months in i should be invited to a family party? any advice?

 

You could tell her that you will not tolerate this anymore if she is not sure of the relationship and leave her.

 

but stick with it. the other option is to wait it out a little bit. it took me like half a year before my gf met my parents. and then I met her parents about a year later and I went to another country to meet them.

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engagement ring???....woah...doesnt really go like that here in UK...I have to prove MY integrity...doesnt the woman have to prove anything...seems to me the ball is always in the womans half of the court if thats true

 

This isn't about gender. This is about her being unsure of you and the relationship. If it was her writing about you not wanting to introduce to your family, the answer would be no different.

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Sugar, that IS the Queen's English and people on here who are from the UK understand what that means.

 

To be fair, he'd have to be old enough to know the Chris Rock skit.....

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Ups and downs, broke up, only 4 month in. This relationship is still on trial hun. She might have a traditional family, and won't be inviting you to a family party until there is an engagement ring on her finger. At this time you still have a lot to prove of your integrity to pass meeting the family test.

 

I've not found that to be the case. Women want you to meet their family by the 6 month stage often.

 

It is likely a sign that she doesn't have good interest. However, it's not a sign that I care much for. I'm not overly concerned about meeting family and the like.

 

I'd suggest that OP note it, but not stress about it.

 

Take the evening off, enjoy some peace and quiet. Be glad you weren't dragged along :D

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There may be lots of reasons why she is not introducing you to her family yet, but the glaringly obvious one is that "she seems to have gone off the boil".

If she is not sure she even wants to be in the relationship after only 4-5 months, then she is hardly going to introduce you to her family is she?

 

Not introducing you to her family is probably the least of your problems here.

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