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She leaves me then comes back and then leaves


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Old 6th July 2017, 4:44 PM   #1
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She leaves me then comes back and then leaves

Hey guys so I was dating this girl who I knew for a year we talked before but nothing dating wise,
then last month she hit me up,
we started to talk a lot over text for few weeks and then she asks me out. We went out had some fun and then talked for another week, then she forgot me , wouldn't text me or anything. Then 2-3 weeks later she texts me again and we where both going to the same festival and we agreed to hangout there'. We hung out 3 times that day (we are only 19 so we came with our parents) we had a lot of fun she texted me after and said she had tons of fun and we should do it again, she told me that her dad loves me, I talked to her fam since they said hi, and they all like me I'm sure (mom , and grandparents)
then she said she "low key kinda likes me" over text and I'm very different from most men. We talked a lot in the mean time , she would start convos and she was showing an effort to get to know me.
So we got back home and we went out for dinner, and then talked over the phone the next day she called me at 12am and texted tons before I left and during my camping trip. I was leaving the following weekend for camping and we wanted to hangout before I left so we did , we both clicked and she told me she really enjoyed it and we gotta do it again when I got back. So I texted her Monday I'm back home we talked for a bit. and she seemed to forgotten me again. Not making an effort to text me , she left me on read but she never usually does , she starts a new topic always. And Ignoring me on fb on the stuff I share, which she usually always likes.

whats the issue here? i really like this girl but I think she doesn't like me "once again"
sorry for the big post.
is she confused? Or taking her time?
I wish she would just tell me she's not intrested and tell me what the deal is instead of this crap
I forgot we did talk yesterday I sent her a Snapchat. And she replied and we talked for a bit. She did send a snap of her face also. But it was a dry convo. We didn't talk like we used to.
And today she seen my snap story and massaged me.

Basically what she does is comes around talk tons go out then she stops msging me , and then comes back and does the same thing. She told me she has personal issues before and she has social anxiety

Last edited by Ilikeher; 6th July 2017 at 4:48 PM..
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Old 6th July 2017, 5:19 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilikeher View Post
Hey guys so I was dating this girl who I knew for a year we talked before but nothing dating wise,
then last month she hit me up,
we started to talk a lot over text for few weeks and then she asks me out. We went out had some fun and then talked for another week, then she forgot me , wouldn't text me or anything. Then 2-3 weeks later she texts me again and we where both going to the same festival and we agreed to hangout there'. We hung out 3 times that day (we are only 19 so we came with our parents) we had a lot of fun she texted me after and said she had tons of fun and we should do it again, she told me that her dad loves me, I talked to her fam since they said hi, and they all like me I'm sure (mom , and grandparents)
then she said she "low key kinda likes me" over text and I'm very different from most men. We talked a lot in the mean time , she would start convos and she was showing an effort to get to know me.
So we got back home and we went out for dinner, and then talked over the phone the next day she called me at 12am and texted tons before I left and during my camping trip. I was leaving the following weekend for camping and we wanted to hangout before I left so we did , we both clicked and she told me she really enjoyed it and we gotta do it again when I got back. So I texted her Monday I'm back home we talked for a bit. and she seemed to forgotten me again. Not making an effort to text me , she left me on read but she never usually does , she starts a new topic always. And Ignoring me on fb on the stuff I share, which she usually always likes.

whats the issue here? i really like this girl but I think she doesn't like me "once again"
sorry for the big post.
is she confused? Or taking her time?
I wish she would just tell me she's not intrested and tell me what the deal is instead of this crap
I forgot we did talk yesterday I sent her a Snapchat. And she replied and we talked for a bit. She did send a snap of her face also. But it was a dry convo. We didn't talk like we used to.
And today she seen my snap story and massaged me.

Basically what she does is comes around talk tons go out then she stops msging me , and then comes back and does the same thing. She told me she has personal issues before and she has social anxiety
She's immature and treating you like a doormat. Don't be a doormat. Pick up the mat and close the door.
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Old 6th July 2017, 5:22 PM   #3
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She's too flaky to be a gf. Friendzone her.
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Old 6th July 2017, 5:40 PM   #4
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I actually think you need to step up your game and signal your interest by consistently asking her out on dates. If she told you she likes you but you didn't respond in kind, I could see where she may be insecure or unsure of how you feel and deciding to give it a rest to see if you will initiate. Just make your intentions clear and go from there.
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Old 6th July 2017, 6:04 PM   #5
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The only issue here is you allowing yourself to be a doormat.
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Old 6th July 2017, 8:26 PM   #6
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The only issue here is you allowing yourself to be a doormat.
this.
have you even kissed her?

ignore her next time she disappears and continue to ignore her.
real men don't wait for a woman to tell them she isn't interested.
real men move on when a woman ignores us and doesn't look back.
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Old 6th July 2017, 8:34 PM   #7
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Train wreck. Move on.
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Old 6th July 2017, 10:28 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilikeher View Post
Hey guys so I was dating this girl who I knew for a year we talked before but nothing dating wise,
then last month she hit me up,
we started to talk a lot over text for few weeks and then she asks me out. We went out had some fun and then talked for another week, then she forgot me , wouldn't text me or anything. Then 2-3 weeks later she texts me again and we where both going to the same festival and we agreed to hangout there'. We hung out 3 times that day (we are only 19 so we came with our parents) we had a lot of fun she texted me after and said she had tons of fun and we should do it again, she told me that her dad loves me, I talked to her fam since they said hi, and they all like me I'm sure (mom , and grandparents)
then she said she "low key kinda likes me" over text and I'm very different from most men. We talked a lot in the mean time , she would start convos and she was showing an effort to get to know me.
So we got back home and we went out for dinner, and then talked over the phone the next day she called me at 12am and texted tons before I left and during my camping trip. I was leaving the following weekend for camping and we wanted to hangout before I left so we did , we both clicked and she told me she really enjoyed it and we gotta do it again when I got back. So I texted her Monday I'm back home we talked for a bit. and she seemed to forgotten me again. Not making an effort to text me , she left me on read but she never usually does , she starts a new topic always. And Ignoring me on fb on the stuff I share, which she usually always likes.

whats the issue here? i really like this girl but I think she doesn't like me "once again"
sorry for the big post.
is she confused? Or taking her time?
I wish she would just tell me she's not intrested and tell me what the deal is instead of this crap
I forgot we did talk yesterday I sent her a Snapchat. And she replied and we talked for a bit. She did send a snap of her face also. But it was a dry convo. We didn't talk like we used to.
And today she seen my snap story and massaged me.

Basically what she does is comes around talk tons go out then she stops msging me , and then comes back and does the same thing. She told me she has personal issues before and she has social anxiety
You are dealing with a toxic girl, she's clearly unhealthy ego type. She'll just get worst and worst. You are more healthy ego type but if you stick around for her you'll be come drained mental and emotional. This girl is not for you mate you need to stop all contact and get on with your life. Find a healthy ego type where you can have happy times ahead. Why did you settle for this girl because her family loves you, are you just wanting to be with her family. That's not enough today my friend. You have to think what your dealing with this is not normal girl She's only interested herself and forgets about you every time just say goodbye for good and move on, case closed!
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Old 7th July 2017, 4:30 AM   #9
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You're her "fallback" guy. Don't be that. You deserve more respect
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Old 8th July 2017, 12:53 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by phineas View Post
this.
have you even kissed her?

ignore her next time she disappears and continue to ignore her.
real men don't wait for a woman to tell them she isn't interested.
real men move on when a woman ignores us and doesn't look back.
No I haven't kissed her yet ,
She seen my Snapchat story I was at a outdoor store (she lives near it) she said
"Didn't invite her"
I said well you forgot me
She said I could never forget you (with emojis)
Then I said we don't talk like we used to so I thought you don't like me anymore
Then she said she felt bad that I thought She doesn't like me anymore and she cried that I said that, and she said she doesn't like texting and she said she's not clingy at all
and then we talked about that for a bit then I changed topics.

So is she playing hot or cold with me? I really do like her she's super cool and I like her personality but I keep falling for her when she comes back
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Old 8th July 2017, 11:34 AM   #11
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It's her anxiety. If you read about hot cold people, you will see this behavior is based on anxiety/insecurity. When things are hot, they start to feel things are too good. That's when the anxiety hits them and get insecure/ nervous/scared and go into their snail shell to escape those feelings. She know she has problems coping with her anxiety. She is burying it by giving silly excuses like "forgetting". If she doesn't get help for it, it will be a learned behavior and will affect her long into adulthood.

Tip: People with a hot/cold personality should always be avoided romantically. Just go back to being friends...this will take the pressure off and things will go back to normal.
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Old 8th July 2017, 11:43 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilikeher View Post
Hey guys so I was dating this girl who I knew for a year we talked before but nothing dating wise,
then last month she hit me up,
we started to talk a lot over text for few weeks and then she asks me out. We went out had some fun and then talked for another week, then she forgot me , wouldn't text me or anything. Then 2-3 weeks later she texts me again and we where both going to the same festival and we agreed to hangout there'. We hung out 3 times that day (we are only 19 so we came with our parents) we had a lot of fun she texted me after and said she had tons of fun and we should do it again, she told me that her dad loves me, I talked to her fam since they said hi, and they all like me I'm sure (mom , and grandparents)
then she said she "low key kinda likes me" over text and I'm very different from most men. We talked a lot in the mean time , she would start convos and she was showing an effort to get to know me.
So we got back home and we went out for dinner, and then talked over the phone the next day she called me at 12am and texted tons before I left and during my camping trip. I was leaving the following weekend for camping and we wanted to hangout before I left so we did , we both clicked and she told me she really enjoyed it and we gotta do it again when I got back. So I texted her Monday I'm back home we talked for a bit. and she seemed to forgotten me again. Not making an effort to text me , she left me on read but she never usually does , she starts a new topic always. And Ignoring me on fb on the stuff I share, which she usually always likes.

whats the issue here? i really like this girl but I think she doesn't like me "once again"
sorry for the big post.
is she confused? Or taking her time?
I wish she would just tell me she's not intrested and tell me what the deal is instead of this crap
I forgot we did talk yesterday I sent her a Snapchat. And she replied and we talked for a bit. She did send a snap of her face also. But it was a dry convo. We didn't talk like we used to.
And today she seen my snap story and massaged me.

Basically what she does is comes around talk tons go out then she stops msging me , and then comes back and does the same thing. She told me she has personal issues before and she has social anxiety
No, you are. She knows exactly what she is doing. She's using you to fill in time in between whatever else she is doing.
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Old 8th July 2017, 11:58 AM   #13
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No, you are. She knows exactly what she is doing. She's using you to fill in time in between whatever else she is doing.
No she's not. This is the assumption people make, that they are being narcissistic, rude, self entitled, weird, selfish, snobbish, etc. She suffers from social anxiety.....it's mental a disorder. Without getting regular therapy, she can't help it.
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Old 8th July 2017, 1:04 PM   #14
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You're making the assumption she has a social disorder. Seems to me if she had a social disorder, she wouldnt be asking the OP out and initiating texts after she disappears. She just may have other people that she is seeing, or she is doing drugs. No one really knows when she disappears for weeks.

Last edited by Whodatdog; 8th July 2017 at 1:09 PM..
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Old 8th July 2017, 1:39 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
It's her anxiety. If you read about hot cold people, you will see this behavior is based on anxiety/insecurity. When things are hot, they start to feel things are too good. That's when the anxiety hits them and get insecure/ nervous/scared and go into their snail shell to escape those feelings. She know she has problems coping with her anxiety. She is burying it by giving silly excuses like "forgetting". If she doesn't get help for it, it will be a learned behavior and will affect her long into adulthood.

Tip: People with a hot/cold personality should always be avoided romantically. Just go back to being friends...this will take the pressure off and things will go back to normal.
She told me she does have social anxiety and before she never usually talked to people and she said she overthinks a lot. I asked her why would she cry over me "She said I didn't only make her cry she was crying that day before and maybe she's overwhelmed" , I asked her why and said we can talk about it and she said "I can't say " "I can't"
She tagged me in a meme that said "finally opens up to someone about past issues and insecurities and it also said please don't tell anyone how I live"
She said maybe one day she will tell me
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