EHV85 Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 So I recently got feelings for a woman at my work untill I found out she already liked another colleague of ours. Eventually this guy turned her down but she still very much would've liked to be with him. At the moment I work a lot with her, make her smile and laugh, I do think she likes me but by her signs etc. she isn't crazy about me, which I intend to change. Today she asked me to smoke together after work, which we did. At first I thought this could be a good sign but then it hits me that this also could be the start of me getting into the friendzone. I have not been her emotional outlet or anything, the only thing she did mention was that she would've wanted this other guy but he is not interested. I do have to work with her so to be silent all the time is not really an option. My question is how do I continue (if there is even a chance for me) Do I try to flirt with her or do I wait untill she is over that other guy? How do I act? Any tips are appreciated 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I'd keep my distance. She likes another colleague. That alone is already too much intrigue for me. This has way too much potential to screw up work. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 I agree with d0nnivain. The odds are not in your favor. And I disagree with you--no, you can't change anything as far as her feelings are concerned. That comes from her and right now, her feelings are wrapped up around this coworker that she'd rather be with. She doesn't feel that for you and even if she did give you entre, right after you all did something intimate, she would draw back because she knows she hasn't developed those feelings for you. Take a pass on this one and anyone else with whom you have to work--it has the potential of getting really messy and you never want messiness where you draw a paycheck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EHV85 Posted June 29, 2017 Author Share Posted June 29, 2017 OK thanks for the replies. So even though she did not do anything with this guy (other then talk/work with him) there's no chance she might change her mind? Still, I have to work with her so there's still some kind of way I have to act around her. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 EHV85, Just act professional around her. It's a big mistake to date people from work 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Don't do it. Before you know it, people will be gossiping. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 So even though she did not do anything with this guy (other then talk/work with him) there's no chance she might change her mind? No. If you could, this wouldn't have taken place: the only thing she did mention was that she would've wanted this other guy That was her putting you on notice to back off. Still, I have to work with her so there's still some kind of way I have to act around her. You act like a disinterested coworker. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 (edited) I am in agreement that making any deliberate moves on her right now isn't a good idea. Office romance are challenging at best. But you're a big boy and will do what you want regardless. Just be prepared for it to go tits up then you'll definitely not get a chance with her. If you have to work with her, if you like her and enjoy the time you get with her, then let whatever is meant to be you unfold organically. Let her lead if/when she's ready. Yes, you may end up in the friendzone but not all friendzones are a life sentence necessarily. Use this time to get to know each other better. In the meantime, it will give her time to get over the last office crush. And if and when she's ready to entertain the idea of you, she'll let you know. Until then, chill. Edited June 29, 2017 by Michelle ma Belle Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 I'm sorry, but this "I intend to change this" mentality sounds entitled and a bit scary, honestly. Like a criminal minds episode lol Leave this woman alone. She isn;t interested, and you are not entitled to her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EHV85 Posted June 29, 2017 Author Share Posted June 29, 2017 Ok Thanks for the replies. It doesn't really matter now anyways. Today started out pretty well, she was flirting with me (touching me etc.) even without the guy around. The guy did notice however and probably got jealous and just asked her out... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 wow.................... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Ok Thanks for the replies. It doesn't really matter now anyways. Today started out pretty well, she was flirting with me (touching me etc.) even without the guy around. The guy did notice however and probably got jealous and just asked her out... Ouch. Sorry. But now you can move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 I never recommend that people date co-workers... There are too many potential problems. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EHV85 Posted June 29, 2017 Author Share Posted June 29, 2017 I never recommend that people date co-workers... There are too many potential problems. Yeah wasn't really my choice either. Usually I can like a girl but not fall in love with her after at least a few dates. But there have been several girls in my life that I instantly got feelings for and this was one of those girls. I can play it cool on the outside but not sure how I can handle it in my mind since I do have to work together with her, possibly for a long time. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Ok Thanks for the replies. It doesn't really matter now anyways. Today started out pretty well, she was flirting with me (touching me etc.) even without the guy around. The guy did notice however and probably got jealous and just asked her out... And that's why a smart person never poops where they eat. Link to post Share on other sites
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