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My girlfriend saw my Instagram search history yesterday morning, there wasn't much to see apart from a football team, a band, couple of mates and 1 girl...

 

Since seeing this she hasn't spoke a word to me and is just completely ignoring me.

This particular girl is local and I barely even know her however she is very attractive hence why I looked in the first place, however that's all it is!

I have no feelings for this girl and was just bored one day and had a look, I love my girlfriend and she is the only one for me.

 

The problem is my girlfriend is the worlds worst for jealousy and can't let things drop, bearing in mind I've noticed on hers that she has searched for ex boyfriends numerous times.

It bugs me a little but I just get over it and move on, I think it's human nature to look occasionally.

 

Problem is I just find when we have a slight argument she turns into a child bearing in mind she is 27 and I'm 31

we can never talk anything through.

She will just sulk and ignore me and it really pisses me off to be honest.

 

I will see her again tonight but I just don't know how to handle the situation.

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How long have you guys been together? I personally find jealous people pretty annoying. Especially in your case she expects you to be clean as piece of paper when in fact she is doing the same things that makes her mad at you. That doesn't make any sense. Also another bad factor that is working against this relation is the fact that she is 27. Jealousy is one bad habit to drop. It actually will get escalate unless you stop it. But I doubt you can. So make a choice to accept her jealousy or break up. Good luck :)

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Is this the first time she acts like this? Or she always became jealousy when you hang out with other girl friends or comment on a model from a TV show.

 

She may be over reacting from your point of view but not from her own point of view.

 

That is who she is and you will never change it. If you cannot bear with it, I'm afraid you need to end it.

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PegNosePete

we can never talk anything through.

She will just sulk and ignore me and it really pisses me off to be honest.

 

I will see her again tonight but I just don't know how to handle the situation.

I would start by telling her the 2 points you mention above.

 

If that doesn't help then honestly I would call it quits with her. A relationship is impossible if you can't communicate.

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Versacehottie

I think she is overreacting. The bigger question is what are you going to do? What do you want to do? I can't imagine allowing this jealousy to continue & continuing a relationship with a person that is this jealous and reacts by shutting you out. Ball is in your court.

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She is not relationship material at this time, and may never be. Anyway, don't call her - let her call you and you can ask for an apology, at least.

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If your GF is so immature that she is giving you the silent treatment over the picture of 1 girl on your Instagram & can't have a meaningful discussion to resolve any conflict, just where do you think this is going? You can't build a future with someone who throws tantrums rather than communicates.

 

 

Leave her be & go find a GF who is more mature.

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If your GF is so immature that she is giving you the silent treatment over the picture of 1 girl on your Instagram & can't have a meaningful discussion to resolve any conflict, just where do you think this is going? You can't build a future with someone who throws tantrums rather than communicates.

 

 

Leave her be & go find a GF who is more mature.

This is my advice too......we are giving you the mom talk....we know things.

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Midnight.Amber

Agree with the others, the silent treatment is the worst.

 

I can handle most things, but if a guy I am dating gives me the silent treatment in response to something he imagines I've done, or anything else I've done, that troubles him or pisses him off, I am out.

Edited by Midnight.Amber
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We have been together just over a year.

It hasn't been an easy year for us, she is a newly qualified teacher and has to drive about 1 hour 30 mins to and from work.

 

 

Plus she is doing a post graduate course at the same time meaning we really haven't been having much fun.

 

 

However shes finished the course now, and got a really high mark... the same day all this crap started! we were celebrating.

And she's got a new job closer to home starting next month.

 

 

Anyway she came home last night and we talked about things and went to bed, she woke up this morning in a better mood, laughing and joking... for about 15 minutes and then it all erupted again.

 

 

We both leave for work and chat on the phone whilst driving.

 

 

She says she is more hurt at the type of girl it was - a fake kind of looking girl.. fake breasts, lots of makeup, dolled up and in every photo is just her posing.

Makes her think she is not enough or good enough for me.

 

 

She wants an explanation as to why I would be interested at looking at her profile and I don't have one to give her, the only sad way I can describe it is being a man...

 

 

Her last two boyfriends treated her really badly and she said although it might seem petty, she has big trust issues and won't be able to forget it.

 

 

She then goes onto other issues and said she's been thinking about us, saying that I don't have enough career ambition compared to her.

I work in I.T and do ok for myself but if I'm honest I'm not that career driven.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We talk about some other things, I tell her how happy I am together and want to have a future together and all she keeps saying is 'Your obviously not or you wouldn't of looked at that girls profile'

 

 

I'm not ashamed to say I'm balling my eyes out by this point and she seems fine.

 

 

Tells me to pack my stuff and leave the house before she gets home from work and wants some space between us.

 

 

I'm so angry/upset and confused all at the same time.

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OMG you are dating a nut job, do yourself a favor and break this today.

 

She drives 1,5 hour a day and is about to graduate? BIG DEAL. If she can't handle that without being mean with you how is she going to handle the rest of life?? It will not change when she works closer! Driving distance don't render people crazy and mean.

 

Dating is suppose to be fun, it's been a nightmare for you, why would any man with some common sense keep on dating a crazy woman like this.

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My girlfriend saw my Instagram search history yesterday morning, there wasn't much to see apart from a football team, a band, couple of mates and 1 girl...

 

Since seeing this she hasn't spoke a word to me and is just completely ignoring me.

This particular girl is local and I barely even know her however she is very attractive hence why I looked in the first place, however that's all it is!

I have no feelings for this girl and was just bored one day and had a look, I love my girlfriend and she is the only one for me.

 

The problem is my girlfriend is the worlds worst for jealousy and can't let things drop, bearing in mind I've noticed on hers that she has searched for ex boyfriends numerous times.

It bugs me a little but I just get over it and move on, I think it's human nature to look occasionally.

 

Problem is I just find when we have a slight argument she turns into a child bearing in mind she is 27 and I'm 31

we can never talk anything through.

She will just sulk and ignore me and it really pisses me off to be honest.

 

I will see her again tonight but I just don't know how to handle the situation.

 

She does this because it works and she doesn't have to face any repercussions for doing it. You're still there, aren't you? There, you see? It works. Why would she ever change her tack if it works for her?

 

I'd say change your password and stop letting her see your instagram since she can't handle it. If she behaves like a child, then that's proof she can't handle it.

 

Let her sulk and ignore you--you don't have to be around her, you know? I wouldn't go see her this evening. I'd give her a few days of NC to let her sit with this since she wants to behave this way. Give it to her in spades. When you do get in touch with her, you need to set the ground rules; that this childishness ends or you'll be gone for good. If she's got something to say, she needs to spit it out. Also, the jealously routine will no longer be tolerated. No matter where she unpacks it, you will get up and leave her where she is. She can call Uber or a friend to come pick her up.

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We have been together just over a year.

It hasn't been an easy year for us, she is a newly qualified teacher and has to drive about 1 hour 30 mins to and from work.

 

Plus she is doing a post graduate course at the same time meaning we really haven't been having much fun.

 

However shes finished the course now, and got a really high mark... the same day all this crap started! we were celebrating.

And she's got a new job closer to home starting next month.

 

Anyway she came home last night and we talked about things and went to bed, she woke up this morning in a better mood, laughing and joking... for about 15 minutes and then it all erupted again.

 

We both leave for work and chat on the phone whilst driving.

 

She says she is more hurt at the type of girl it was - a fake kind of looking girl.. fake breasts, lots of makeup, dolled up and in every photo is just her posing.

Makes her think she is not enough or good enough for me.

 

She wants an explanation as to why I would be interested at looking at her profile and I don't have one to give her, the only sad way I can describe it is being a man...

 

Her last two boyfriends treated her really badly and she said although it might seem petty, she has big trust issues and won't be able to forget it.

 

She then goes onto other issues and said she's been thinking about us, saying that I don't have enough career ambition compared to her.

I work in I.T and do ok for myself but if I'm honest I'm not that career driven.

 

We talk about some other things, I tell her how happy I am together and want to have a future together and all she keeps saying is 'Your obviously not or you wouldn't of looked at that girls profile'

 

I'm not ashamed to say I'm balling my eyes out by this point and she seems fine.

 

Tells me to pack my stuff and leave the house before she gets home from work and wants some space between us.

 

I'm so angry/upset and confused all at the same time.

 

Then go home, pack your stuff and leave. Block her on your phone and stay away from her. Consider that you two have broken up.

 

She is forcing you to unpack and sort her baggage from her past relationships when that is not your heavy lift--that was supposed to be sorted and resolved by her before she got with you. She is emotionally messy and she's got you all up in her mess as if it's your responsibility to save her from dealing with her mess. It's not.

 

If she doesn't think she's good enough, then she needs to go into therapy for that. She needs a therapist, not a boyfriend.

 

She is also highly immature--and I'd be concerned with her around my child as her teacher.

 

As far as an explanation for looking at instagram--because that's what instagram is for--to look at. Looking at someone on there doesn't have anything to do with how you feel about the person you're with. That some tortured effing logic there.

 

You've allowed her to put your nuts in a grinder with all this stupidity she unleashes on you. Find your spine, for God's sake!

 

You won't die if this relationship dies--in fact, I dare say, you will begin to see that there is nothing wrong with how you are and that you've been enabling a sick, controlling individual for way too long.

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ExpatInItaly

This relationship isn't working, OP. For many reasons.

 

She can't handle a commute? What about when she has a sick, tantrumy toddler, a husband to help find his car keys last-minute, and still has to arrive at work on time? You see where I'm going with this?

 

I would send her walking.

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