Am I falling out of love? Feeling emotionally numb

[LM9]

Hi I'm new here and I really need help, sorry if this is too long, I just want to give enough detail so you can understand my question.

 

I am 18 and I met this girl almost a year ago and when I first met her I didn't expect her to be this significant in my life, she is the first girl I fell in love with and I am the first guy she fell in love with.

 

After a couple of months we have realized that we had something special for each other, she even told me that she was never interested in guys but I was different for her and when I got to know her I realized that she was something special. I honestly feel so lucky to have met a person like her, she is so sweet, we understand each other so well, we can be ourselves and have conversations that make no sense to others but only we would understand, we have a lot of things in common, she has supported me through hard times, she has always believed in me, she has made me into a better person.

 

I used to be doing terrible in school, feeling hopeless, heading the wrong direction wanting to give up in life and since meeting her things have changed a lot. She motivated to improve things and she believed in me that I can do better. I went from having almost all F's to all A's and I never thought this would be possible. We have talked almost everyday, I remember we used to chat untill one of us fell asleep, we can talk about almost anything. Our relationship has been amazing. She is like my best friend, she's the one I talk to first when something amazing happens and I always text her goodnight every night. She means so much to me and I just want to make her happy.

 

Recently there are things that have made me worried. I remember on May 14 we had such a great time, it was one of the best days I've had with her, then the next day on Monday the 15th of May during class I suddenly started feeling nauseous and anxious every time I would think of her. After school when I texted her, I felt so anxious and one moment it felt like I didn't want to talk to her and the next I want to talk with her. Ever since, whenever she is away, I have an OCD thing in my head thinking am I falling out of love or not and whenever I think of her I'll get anxious and thoughts will be racing in my head and then I'll feel happy thinking of her and wanting to talk to her and then a minute later I'll feel like not wanting to talk with her and feel lazy to do so and this will happen many times throughout the day.

 

Ever since I have felt numb from emotions. I remember feeling joyful and excited for so many things including my girlfriend. I would look forward to the Summer, having a great time and ending the school year with great grades, but when it was the last day of school, I didn't even care that it was Summer break and had ended the school year great. I didn't feel like I achieved anything.

 

My birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I didn't even care that it was my 18th birthday, it didn't even feel like my birthday and normally if I received anything I would feel so excited but I didn't even feel anything even if it was more than I could ever ask for. The things that once made me happy and excited don't interest me at all.

 

I know I sound unappreciative but I'm very thankful but the thing is.. I don't feel anything at all, like I have lost all my emotions and I just want to lay down on the bed all day. I haven't even been eating much at all like I used to. I don't even fear anything at all, even the thought of something terrible happening even with my girlfriend doesn't make me feel anything.

 

It's like I feel disconnected from my emotions. I feel no empathy or feelings for anyone anymore even for the people that mean a lot to me. I feel like I can live on a planet with only me on it forever and not feel lonely at all and not miss anyone.

 

Despite all these things, I still try to make my girlfriend happy and let her know how much she means to me because deep inside I know I love her and she is the only person that I can think of my life with. I don't know if the situation I have with her has to do with the things I'm experiencing recently. If you read all of this, thank you and I really appreciate it.

Edited June 27, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs~T

[todreaminblue]

a lot of people feel depression is all about sadness when really its not...that way for everyone.....its feeling disconnected its feeling numb its in feeling conflicting emotions all at once.....

 

its in missing people but needing to be alone....because when you are with the people you miss, you are overwhelmed in their presence with guilt and shame and also love..wanting to be near them but then not wanting them to know how you are feeling and bring them down with you.........

 

its in thinking that you can do more and you keep adding to your list of to do things and when you look at it....you feel inadequate and insecure.....and when you fail to complete your to do list you are brutal and beat yourself up more than anyone else ever would....that is also depression at work...and depression is a worker from hell....

 

 

.emotional numbness is common to my depression.....as are all the things I have listed in this post...It might help if you go see a professional to rule out depression or if not ...treat the depression....what you have described is symptomatic sometimes for depression....deb

[mikeylo]

a lot of people feel depression is all about sadness when really its not...that way for everyone.....its feeling disconnected its feeling numb its in feeling conflicting emotions all at once.....

 

its in missing people but needing to be alone....because when you are with the people you miss, you are overwhelmed in their presence with guilt and shame and also love..wanting to be near them but then not wanting them to know how you are feeling and bring them down with you.........

 

its in thinking that you can do more and you keep adding to your list of to do things and when you look at it....you feel inadequate and insecure.....and when you fail to complete your to do list you are brutal and beat yourself up more than anyone else ever would....that is also depression at work...and depression is a worker from hell....

 

 

.emotional numbness is common to my depression.....as are all the things I have listed in this post...It might help if you go see a professional to rule out depression or if not ...treat the depression....what you have described is symptomatic sometimes for depression....deb

 

Quotes to emphasize. You are depressed, nothing to do with your relationship.

[barnabas17]

Hi,

 

Here's a draft:

 

 

Hi, thank you for sharing so openly about this. I echo the previous respondent's sentiment that it wouldn't hurt to see a professional and to share with caring adults, a parent, a youth leader/pastor, an uncle/aunt, to get their wisdom.

 

Sometimes, I feel we live more in a virtual world than the real world and we get disconnected sometimes with those around; consider going out and enjoying nature, meet up with people even if you don't feel like it--share with them; their presence is important.

 

In terms, of love, what you described earlier sounds like how marriages ought to be most of the time. In relationships, though, what struck me most was when I heard the phrase that 'love is a decision' not merely a feeling. I find that the feeling of love accompanies the act of loving another as opposed to waiting for a feeling before we act. In order to put this in practice, I found that the "Five Love Languages," The 5 Love Languages and Your Teen | Focus on the Family, helped me to concretely show others that they are loved; in return, I feel good, too.

 

Hope what you choose to do will get you out of this slump.

[Versacehottie]

It sounds like you are anxious (clinically probably) and/or depressed as the others have stated. I'm not sure that it actually has anything to do with your relationship with your girlfriend--you might only be transferring your negative feelings toward the biggest thing in your life, her.

 

In addition, there is perhaps some great fear going on directly related to the relationship itself. I think you'd do well to seek out help from a professional. Feeling this extreme, i'm not sure is normal happy, healthy behavior and you just deserve the best life for yourself so help will help.

 

You don't need to address it right now but the majority of relationships at 18 aren't the final one you will be in. Knowing this might actually stress you out more or give you comfort or both. The point is you have a lot of life to live and a lot of time to figure out where your life will go. Get treatment for yourself first and then you can address what you should do about your relationship. It may not be possible for you to continue in the relationship while you are taking care of yourself but you will know what you should do soon enough. I think the most important thing is to stabilize your emotions a bit first so you can make any decision like that from a more stable place rather than cause yourself some additional dramatic things to worry and think about. It sounds like your head is on overdrive and you don't really need to add to that at the moment. Take care & good luck

[LM9]

Thanks everyone, I will try to get help professionally. This past week has been so confusing for me, when I thought of my girlfriend when I haven't seen her, it's like I don't feel anything. I used to feel so happy wanting to tell her everything that happened that day but it's like now I feel lazy to do so, it's like talking to anyone makes me feel lazy. Then I'd believe that I don't care for her after those things and I'd feel like I don't miss her at all if I haven't heard of her for a while. This used to be the opposite, I used to worry so much and feel so clingy for her, if she didn't text me for a day I'd worry so much that something happened to her but now it's like I can imagine if something happened to her and it would not feel like anything but the thing is it is also the same case for people close in my family. I used to feel so much for people but now it's like gone, it's like I don't feel bad for anyone at all. Now it's like whenever I would hear a certain song or watch a certain scene in a movie emotions would flood in me and I'd start crying and feeling love, actually feeling strong emotions then after a few minutes I go back to where I was.

[BaileyB]

Talk to your doctor. It does sound like you are experiencing some depression and anxiety. There is nothing wrong with that, you just need to some help with this. Your doctor and a counsellor will help you to find a much healthier and better path.

 

I would also suggest that you tell your girlfriend what you are feeling. She should be understanding and that may help with the things you are feeling. Best wishes.

[Redhead14]

Hi I'm new here and I really need help, sorry if this is too long, I just want to give enough detail so you can understand my question.

 

I am 18 and I met this girl almost a year ago and when I first met her I didn't expect her to be this significant in my life, she is the first girl I fell in love with and I am the first guy she fell in love with.

 

After a couple of months we have realized that we had something special for each other, she even told me that she was never interested in guys but I was different for her and when I got to know her I realized that she was something special. I honestly feel so lucky to have met a person like her, she is so sweet, we understand each other so well, we can be ourselves and have conversations that make no sense to others but only we would understand, we have a lot of things in common, she has supported me through hard times, she has always believed in me, she has made me into a better person.

 

I used to be doing terrible in school, feeling hopeless, heading the wrong direction wanting to give up in life and since meeting her things have changed a lot. She motivated to improve things and she believed in me that I can do better. I went from having almost all F's to all A's and I never thought this would be possible. We have talked almost everyday, I remember we used to chat untill one of us fell asleep, we can talk about almost anything. Our relationship has been amazing. She is like my best friend, she's the one I talk to first when something amazing happens and I always text her goodnight every night. She means so much to me and I just want to make her happy.

 

Recently there are things that have made me worried. I remember on May 14 we had such a great time, it was one of the best days I've had with her, then the next day on Monday the 15th of May during class I suddenly started feeling nauseous and anxious every time I would think of her. After school when I texted her, I felt so anxious and one moment it felt like I didn't want to talk to her and the next I want to talk with her. Ever since, whenever she is away, I have an OCD thing in my head thinking am I falling out of love or not and whenever I think of her I'll get anxious and thoughts will be racing in my head and then I'll feel happy thinking of her and wanting to talk to her and then a minute later I'll feel like not wanting to talk with her and feel lazy to do so and this will happen many times throughout the day.

 

Ever since I have felt numb from emotions. I remember feeling joyful and excited for so many things including my girlfriend. I would look forward to the Summer, having a great time and ending the school year with great grades, but when it was the last day of school, I didn't even care that it was Summer break and had ended the school year great. I didn't feel like I achieved anything.

 

My birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I didn't even care that it was my 18th birthday, it didn't even feel like my birthday and normally if I received anything I would feel so excited but I didn't even feel anything even if it was more than I could ever ask for. The things that once made me happy and excited don't interest me at all.

 

I know I sound unappreciative but I'm very thankful but the thing is.. I don't feel anything at all, like I have lost all my emotions and I just want to lay down on the bed all day. I haven't even been eating much at all like I used to. I don't even fear anything at all, even the thought of something terrible happening even with my girlfriend doesn't make me feel anything.

 

It's like I feel disconnected from my emotions. I feel no empathy or feelings for anyone anymore even for the people that mean a lot to me. I feel like I can live on a planet with only me on it forever and not feel lonely at all and not miss anyone.

 

Despite all these things, I still try to make my girlfriend happy and let her know how much she means to me because deep inside I know I love her and she is the only person that I can think of my life with. I don't know if the situation I have with her has to do with the things I'm experiencing recently. If you read all of this, thank you and I really appreciate it.

 

I remember on May 14 -- This is interestingly -- specific. Have you experienced a significant trauma that occurred on or around this time of year or date in the past? This may be a "triggered" reaction. That might be a good starting point if you enter therapy.

[smackie9]

She isn't the reason you improved in life, it's the dopamine being released in your brain from being with her......now it's wearing off, which is normal, it happens to everyone, but for someone who are clinically depressed like yourself, you are heading right back to where you started before you met her. You need to get yourself into counseling/therapy. You have signs of depression, and it sounds serious.