ullahayesha1994 Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 I posted a thread a week ago about actually asking out my professor (no longer his student or a student at the school anymore) and I ended up deciding to send an email saying I understand that its an awkward position for him so I get that he might not respond or reciprocate, but that I found him attractive the entire semester. He actually responded saying that it would be more awkward if he was still grading my final and that it was easy to reciprocate because I am "gorgeous" and he that my confidence was very attractive. So I took that as him being interested and started slowly trying to shift towards going for a drink, he said that was very flattering and we actually made plans and everything. I had to end up cancelling because one of my family members are going into surgery so I let him know and asked him when he would be back in town because he's leaving the country for a good week. He said he would be back next week and that I could come into his office on Friday to pick up my assignment. I actually already got my grade for his class I just never picked up my assignment, but I mean... I just got kind of confused because he sort of changed the tone. I was asking when he was back to reschedule a drink and he shifted towards assignments and his office..like thats not the setting I was hoping for. Initially I was surprised how quickly he reciprocated but when it came to actually making plans he seemed like he wanted to, but also obviously hesitant. It was a third year course so I'm assuming he doesn't even know I'm done school now. He also mentioned he was really shy at one point. Anyway I sent him an email saying "I can't tell if you're just really shy and not used to making plans with girls or if you're just not interested" (I know its kind of mean but his emails were confusing me lol) and he replied with this: "Well yeah, but shy has nothing to do with it. I know what I can and cannot do and what I want and don't want. Let's agree this messaging is confusing, which is why i agreed to grab a drink with you." I find his emails hard to decipher but I mean when he says lets agree this messaging is confusing, he sounds like he kind of wants to stop. I don't know what he meant because he says he knows what he wants he's just a bit unclear with me..should I stop pursuing? I actually really enjoyed talking with this professor, he's not the generically "hot teacher", my crush isn't out of lust, I actually like him, him being my prof in the past has nothing to do with my attraction for him, I'm just not amused with guys my own age, he is much more mature and intelligent and so it would've been nice to get a drink and see where it goes. but at this point I'm not sure what he really wants. what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 He doesn't want to have it in writing. Email is writing, electronic trail. Worse if this is over his school email account, because full content is available to administration. Whatever he wants to say, he'd better say it in person. You are now in possession of an email from him in which he said you were gorgeous, so he'd better think twice about making you angry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ullahayesha1994 Posted June 23, 2017 Author Share Posted June 23, 2017 He's been sending them from a personal email account, you're right it explains why he's been so cryptic in his emails. I was hoping he'd be more clear about what he wanted, but you're right I think he agreed to get drinks so we could talk in person. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 If I were the guy, I would have told you to pick up the assignment in his office upon receiving your first suggestive email; I think he realized he had made a mistake by saying that you're gorgeous and that he found your confidence attractive in his email reply (it's really quite creepy, to be honest). You guys should at least pretend to hang out a bit just as friends first, to have some "cooling off" period. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ullahayesha1994 Posted June 23, 2017 Author Share Posted June 23, 2017 you're saying he regrets that? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 (edited) you're saying he regrets that? I'm saying if you really want this to work, you should make things easier for him, considering he was still your professor a few days ago. Professing your romantic attraction over email, and worse, wanting him to be clear about his attraction to you over email can put him in a pretty bad position. You should just pretend to pick up your assignment from his office as suggested by him and go from there...he may take you out for coffee or for some drinks and things will develop from there. And I suspect that's why he asked you to pick up your assignment from your office, instead of saying directly he wants to ask you out on a date... Edited June 23, 2017 by JuneL Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 Or it could be that you cancelled and he thought you were a flake. Though that is a perfectly valid excuse, he could think it is a lie. That would cause a lot of guys to back off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 Or it could be that you cancelled and he thought you were a flake. Though that is a perfectly valid excuse, he could think it is a lie. That would cause a lot of guys to back off. Good point. I think he doesn't want to look like a fool, after taking the risk with you only to be played. Link to post Share on other sites
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