New guy

[ChanelValentine]

Ok guys, I met this guy at my University and we hit it off. We exchanged numbers and we started texting a little after the semester ended. He is Egyptian and I am American. We go to an American University. I really like him and have never felt this way about anyone before. Both of us have never dated before and I just recently started being more confident in myself. So much so, that I almost scared him off. I was coming on too strong and his friend told me to tone it down. But I only did that to keep things interesting. I didn't mean to do that to him. I know he likes me too because of the things he says to me. He is an orthodox Christian and I am a Baptist Christian, so we hit it off even more. I just came on here because I am confused as to if he likes me as much as I like him! He has only been in the US for 5 years, which means he is still getting used to American culture. He is in no way dumb, but he doesn't get a lot of things and he was/is very sheltered. We went on our first date and it went well (talked for 5 hours!) and we have been talking for almost two months. So whenever one meets someone, you are going to want to talk to them a lot. I am not saying he has to text me everyday, but I would like to talk to him more often. He likes to snap me but I like to text. He leaves me on "delivered" all the time, but then proceeds to watch my snap chat stories. He does things that I consider rude, but I don't say anything because I know he doesn't mean any harm. We both have decided to not talk to other people because we like each other, but on text he just makes me not like him. I have talked to his best friend and he has been helping me and has told me to tell him how I feel, BUT I am stuck because we just started talking and I don't want to sound too controlling or nagging. He is taking summer classes and I know he's busy, but I just want him to know that I do not like when he does that to me. I crave physical affection and acknowledgment and I am scared to tell him that because I really really like him and do NOT want to scare him away. So should I tell him that it annoys me when he ends conversations early and when he just doesn't respond, or should I leave it alone?

[Gaeta]

I have dated men from around the world and that includes men from North Africa (Egypt) and also Ortodox men. Being from another culture does not excuse this man from being polite and a gentleman. If he doesn't treat you like a lady it's because he does not respect you as one.

 

It's a huge mistake to accept disrespect from a man and excuse it as being cultural differences. This man is not into you, I am not even sure he likes you.

 

No matter where a man is from, no matter his religion, if he likes you he will respect you and he will want to see you and set up dates.

 

Love and courtship may vary from country to country but respect is universal.

[salparadise]

If he doesn't treat you like a lady it's because he does not respect you as one.

 

This man is not into you, I am not even sure he likes you.

 

No matter where a man is from, no matter his religion, if he likes you he will respect you and he will want to see you and set up dates.

 

 

Gaeta, you sure do pull a lot from between the lines. I don't suppose the interpretations are colored by... Nah, not possible. Please continue offering your words of hope and encouragement for the benefit of first-time posters.

 

OP, I think you should have a talk with the boyfriend and explain, using very gentle language, that just as it's customary to say goodbye when physically exiting a social situation, it's also proper and customary when engaging via text to remain engaged to a natural conclusion, and then announce your exit and offer a salutation.

 

My guess is that he's either not well informed, or a bit too casual and doesn't realize how it feels from the other's perspective. Once you've had the conversation he's likely to change for the better (although you shouldn't expect perfection). You might also mention frequency of communication, but don't make it like a demand... just a preference. Observe whether or not makes an effort before jumping to any RADICAL conclusions.

[stillafool]

I'm sorry I don't understand but what exactly did he do to disrespect you OP?

[Gaeta]

So much so, that I almost scared him off. I was coming on too strong and his friend told me to tone it down.

 

First clue he is not into you. Men from north africa come on to women very very strongly and nothing scares them. They are flamboyant with their interest, they cover women with compliments and go overboard with attention.

 

He has only been in the US for 5 years, which means he is still getting used to American culture.

5 years is plenty of time to get the hang of things.

 

He is in no way dumb, but he doesn't get a lot of things and he was/is very sheltered. We went on our first date and it went well (talked for 5 hours!) and we have been talking for almost two months.

1 date in 2 months? your second clue.

 

He does things that I consider rude, but I don't say anything because I know he doesn't mean any harm. We both have decided to not talk to other people because we like each other, but on text he just makes me not like him.

Example please

 

About his non responding to your text. You think a man of mid-20s with a University education does not know it's rude to leave in the middle of a conversation, no matter the type of conversation?

[Gaeta]

OP, I think you should have a talk with the boyfriend and explain, using very gentle language, that just as it's customary to say goodbye when physically exiting a social situation, it's also proper and customary when engaging via text to remain engaged to a natural conclusion, and then announce your exit and offer a salutation.

 

You also think you should explain to a mid-20s University student the basic in communication politeness? You think when his mother messages him he leaves her hanging? I doubt it.