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Bad texter or just not that interested?


Anielaviv

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There's this guy I've been on several dates with. He's entertaining in person, witty, we'd joke, tease, and flirt; he basically just loves to talk.

 

The problem, however, is that he is SOoO boring to text. We both have busy schedules so we only get to see each other like once a week or sometimes two weeks. So the only way to "connect" with him when we're apart is through text (he doesn't like to call for some reason). He mostly only texts me to set up/confirm upcoming dates for the following week, and if not that, he doesn't text me for days or if he does, it's just to ask how my day was. His response to my answers are usually "cool", "sounds fun", "lol" and that'll be it. I'd try to continue the conversation after that by asking him something and he'd respond but still doesn't seem like he wants to talk. Or I'd try to flirt with him but his answers would be so dry it jus makes me not want to text back.

 

I know he could probably be busy doing something but HE is always the one that texts me first. I'd assume that if he doesn't want to talk or have time to talk, why even text me in the first place? There are times where I think maybe he really is just not into me and maybe I should just completely ignore his texts and move on since we're not serious at the moment but then again, he seems really into me when we're face-to-face. The problem is that we don't get to see each other often so his boring texts is ruining whatever chemistry we built from our dates. Is there anything I can do about this?

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Would you rather be dating a great texter who is boring in person?

Maybe he's just not into texting, and you could try texting him first.

If I always have to initiate contact with a girl or else I won't hear from her, at some point I will probably start to think she might not be that interested.

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Is there anything I can do about this?

 

Make more time for each other. And if both of you can't or won't, then it shows that each of you is low on the other's priority list.

 

Seeing each other just once a week or fortnight just isn't sustainable.

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I have a friend overseas who is really economical in his texts, while I'm quite verbose. When I met him in person, I thought it was going to be a real slog through conversation with him but he was extremely chatty and funny (and deliciously sarcastic, which I love). I don't get to see him as much as I'd like, as he lives in the UK, but now that I know how he is in person, I don't trip on how short his texts are--that's who he is and I accept that.

 

You have to figure out if you accept him as he is and not try to change him. You at least get to see him way more often than I get to see my friend.

 

He may be one of those who'd rather wait and have something to say to you in person rather than blowing his wad all in text messages and then have nothing to talk about or worst still, repeat what he's already said and have you remind him constantly that he already told you that.

 

Either accept him or reject him, but don't try to change him if he hasn't asked you for help to change.

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