Popsicle Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 So, I played hookie from work today (too tired, stayed up all night talking to my neice), so I've been on the dating site a lot today. I normally do this in spurts - not active on it for days/weeks at a time, then active for a few days, engaging with men a lot while on there. Today has started me being active. Anyways, what do you think of this? A really cute guy and I have been messaging. Now, for me it's rare that I find a cute guy who is local so I got happy. But then it went like this: Him: Good morning and wow. You're gorgeous. Amazing eyes and fantastic lips. My faves. Stunning. Me: Wow, you're very cute too! Very attractive. Very tempting. But I am looking for something serious and you are not. (his profile said he wants to date but nothing serious) Him: So you are looking for something serious before you e even met someone? I eventually want something serious but only with the right person. But first and foremost I want fun and laughs and kissing. If those things are amazing of course I'd be open to serious. And thank you for the compliments Me: Yes, I know that I am looking for something serious. It's okay that you feel the way you feel. I didn't say anything was wrong with it. I just know what I need just like you do. Trust me, you are so cute (from you one picture- you should put more up!) that I know you will find what you are looking for. Him: Alright. But remember you're shutting out alit of guys with that mentality and you might miss a really great one. You're really gorgeous Me: Thank you so much. Means a lot coming from your fine ass. Him: Alright well if you ever feel like putting those perfect lips on mine and having some innocent kissing making out and laughs and seeing if we have chemistry, let me know. I'd adore you. That's it. Since we've got so many guys on here claiming that all guys want is sex, let's hear it. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 sounds like two people just looking for a one nite stand 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 sounds like two people just looking for a one nite stand I am not. Popsicle Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 I am not. you should try more traditional ways of meeting guys 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Pop: in metro can't type too long. Your BS detector is broken. This man was only looking to get in your pants. If you are looking for a serious dater stop telling men they're gorgeous before meeting men. He got you hot over a cheap compliments and you reacted like a teen girl who got her first compliment ever!! C'mon girl !! 14 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 (edited) Pop: in metro can't type too long. Your BS detector is broken. This man was only looking to get in your pants. If you are looking for a serious dater stop telling men they're gorgeous before meeting men. He got you hot over a cheap compliments and you reacted like a teen girl who got her first compliment ever!! C'mon girl !! LOL! Well, he WAS hot! I couldn't help it, but I will try in the future to not say that, if you think that's best. It will be hard though, I generally say what I feel. I hope you saw that I didn't agree to meet him? I guess you're saying that I brought it on myself... Edited June 20, 2017 by Popsicle Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 When I had excluded anything serious, I used the same sort of line. "I'm dating until I find the right person". I'm becoming increasingly open to something serious, and I'll still be "dating until I find the right person". So, it comes down to your judgement on whether to next or not. It's completely equivocal. I think you played it safe here, which is fair enough. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 He was looking to get in your pants... or ya know "make out". Here's the thing - you made it sound like you were looking for something physical in your responses as well. "Very Tempting" tempted to do what exactly? Every one of your responses called to his physical appearance. You can tell someone they are attractive without going so over the top. Maybe "Thanks! You are certainly easy on the eyes as well" and then divert the conversation to something other than exchanging compliments on each other physical assets. Thanks! You're a good looking guy. So what are you up today? Turn the conversation to something more in depth. If he keeps steering it back to physical compliments and innuendos you have your answer. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 When I had excluded anything serious, I used the same sort of line. "I'm dating until I find the right person". I'm becoming increasingly open to something serious, and I'll still be "dating until I find the right person". So, it comes down to your judgement on whether to next or not. It's completely equivocal. I think you played it safe here, which is fair enough. Thank you. This is exactly my feeling and how I assessed the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 He was looking to get in your pants... or ya know "make out". Here's the thing - you made it sound like you were looking for something physical in your responses as well. "Very Tempting" tempted to do what exactly? Every one of your responses called to his physical appearance. You can tell someone they are attractive without going so over the top. Maybe "Thanks! You are certainly easy on the eyes as well" and then divert the conversation to something other than exchanging compliments on each other physical assets. Thanks! You're a good looking guy. So what are you up today? Turn the conversation to something more in depth. If he keeps steering it back to physical compliments and innuendos you have your answer. That's fair. I need to control myself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 Oh, by the way, I am talking to a NICER guy who's also cute (not as cute as the other) but he lives a bit farther. Hate that. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 I have always rejected to get involved with guys that aren't looking for something serious. Even when I wasn't sure myself what I was looking for. But as for some anectodatal evidence, 3 out of 4 of my close friends married guys who initially told them that they weren't looking for anything serious. So who knows anymore. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 I have always rejected to get involved with guys that aren't looking for something serious. Even when I wasn't sure myself what I was looking for. But as for some anectodatal evidence, 3 out of 4 of my close friends married guys who initially told them that they weren't looking for anything serious. So who knows anymore. Interesting. Yeah I'm not a betting girl but some are. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Maybe guys are different, but I do think sometimes you meet someone that you simply can't help but fall in love with / get serious with. I was not looking for s anything serious when I met my now husband. First month or so I kept stating as such, I wanted to "have fun" and not get involved. But I couldn't help it, he was a match for me that I couldn't deny. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 So, I played hookie from work today (too tired, stayed up all night talking to my neice), so I've been on the dating site a lot today. I normally do this in spurts - not active on it for days/weeks at a time, then active for a few days, engaging with men a lot while on there. Today has started me being active. Anyways, what do you think of this? A really cute guy and I have been messaging. Now, for me it's rare that I find a cute guy who is local so I got happy. But then it went like this: Him: Good morning and wow. You're gorgeous. Amazing eyes and fantastic lips. My faves. Stunning. Me: Wow, you're very cute too! Very attractive. Very tempting. But I am looking for something serious and you are not. (his profile said he wants to date but nothing serious) Him: So you are looking for something serious before you e even met someone? I eventually want something serious but only with the right person. But first and foremost I want fun and laughs and kissing. If those things are amazing of course I'd be open to serious. And thank you for the compliments Me: Yes, I know that I am looking for something serious. It's okay that you feel the way you feel. I didn't say anything was wrong with it. I just know what I need just like you do. Trust me, you are so cute (from you one picture- you should put more up!) that I know you will find what you are looking for. Him: Alright. But remember you're shutting out alit of guys with that mentality and you might miss a really great one. You're really gorgeous Me: Thank you so much. Means a lot coming from your fine ass. Him: Alright well if you ever feel like putting those perfect lips on mine and having some innocent kissing making out and laughs and seeing if we have chemistry, let me know. I'd adore you. That's it. Since we've got so many guys on here claiming that all guys want is sex, let's hear it. I thought you found someone already? This guy just a player for casual sex, they're not interested in anything else but sex. I am not like these guys I want real relationship I am not settling for less. I had met someone early this month from OKC. She came out to my house in her Red Jeep. Gave me a warm huge and kiss. She had spent two nights. She also did the dishes kept the kitchen clean also. I keep my house clean here I use two robots for that. But again she was great. But there was something she didn't tell me at first. It's shame she was like that though. Heck I got her Papa Johns Pizza even got 5 toppings with 50% off. Drove her to get it. Made her happy. Still there was something odd about her. In the end didn't work out. I think she want a guy to help pay her bills. I am not doing that. I looking for love I am not looking to buy it. Your guy might be cute but look at what he told you already. Your not going to stand for that in your pants attitude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 The ironic thing is that I did to him exactly what he did to me, and he didn't like it. He has it in is profile that he is not looking for anything serious, which means, "if you're looking for something serious, you're not going to get it from me". But he told me that I might be missing a great guy by me not dating guys who say they aren't looking for something serious. Isn't that the same thing in reverse? I could ask him why he limits himself too. We both limited ourselves, didn't we? He makes it seem like I'm the only one. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Oh, by the way, I am talking to a NICER guy who's also cute (not as cute as the other) but he lives a bit farther. Hate that. Just be careful who you select, make sure they're not married still. I am not looking for a woman who had a child already the one that came had one but she left the child with the dad in China. Yeah massage girl with a business that not doing so well. I can't deal with the child I would like to find one who doesn't have them but might want to have them. That's would be great. Your feeling out what's out there again. The playing field is not as fun as it use to be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 The ironic thing is that I did to him exactly what he did to me, and he didn't like it. He has it in is profile that he is not looking for anything serious, which means, "if you're looking for something serious, you're not going to get it from me". But he told me that I might be missing a great guy by me not dating guys who say they aren't looking for something serious. Isn't that the same thing in reverse? I could ask him why he limits himself too. We both limited ourselves, didn't we? He makes it seem like I'm the only one. Yes, you want serious and I want serious you need to find a guy like me who want the same. Otherwise the jerks are many out there. The woman are just as bad. He was just boosting his ego on you with the last statement. He's hot and a good catch you going to loose out if you just want something serious, yeah but what he wants is not what you want. You stick with your plan. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Interesting. Yeah I'm not a betting girl but some are. I think women on OLD don't gamble anywhere near as much as women met in real life when emotions can be spurred more. That's what I find anyway. I got rejected a bunch of times in the same way you did with this guy Thing is, I don't think any guy is going to say no to a woman who is perfect for him to be around long-term. But reserving the right to decide that is a nice thing to have. And obviously lying about it takes you into very dodgy territory. But then pointing it out in the direct terms which I just did doesn't go down great either... hence the need to remain ambiguous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 From his awful opening line to giving you unsolicited dating advice near the end......he just raised my hackles. Ugh 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 (edited) Make them work a little harder.... Most guys(guys that have options, anyway) are turned off by women who are "lay downs"....And by heaping gushing teenage compliments, you are, in effect, lowering your own value...Make it seem like you have been with other desirable or good looking guys, and you don't immediately put him on a pedestal....By the way that read, it seemed like you were star struck.. Unless its a poke and pass type of deal, you will often find that to be the case..... Good luck.. TFY Edited June 20, 2017 by thefooloftheyear 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 Thing is, I don't think any guy is going to say no to a woman who is perfect for him to be around long-term. But reserving the right to decide that is a nice thing to have. I thought it was assumed that everyone is reserving the right to decide? That's what dating is. Trying to see if you're compatible enough to keep going long term. Feeling each other out. To me, to STATE that you're not looking for anything serious, is basically saying that you KNOW that you won't be deciding that any time. I take them seriously when they say that. I also take them seriously when they say that they want children (yes MEN say this). You should see how they back peddle after I say that I'm not interested in them because they want children and I do not. Stick to your guns, man. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 hmmmmm you just never know. i'm 50/50. I got a vibe that he just wants casual and if you proceed he's going to say "i told you that from the beginning". On the other hand, lots of guys say that so they don't overpromise or obligate themselves. I think they also like to convince themselves that it's 100% funfest! As if being in a relationship isn't fun--which is kinda insulting haha. You could proceed with extreme caution though I think that he already started in with the kissing stuff and complimenting you physically too much then you wouldn't really have a neutral enough handful of dates where you could see what his potential really is. Idk, sleep on it? I might be changing my tune to 40/60 (good/bad). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 by the way that read, it seemed like you were star struck.. There are a lot of ugly men here. LOL. A LOT. This is not so much the case in the bigger cities, like where I came from. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 When I was dating, I was hoping to find a serious relationship. But EVERY such relationship starts with casual dating to see where it leads. Most dates lead nowhere - but the process itself was enjoyable. If it doesn't have potential, just move on quickly. If anything, I'd worry about the guys who say they're looking for serious right up front. I think many of those are desperate to find someone - locking things down too fast without going through the full process and spectrum of dating and learning about each other to be sure of what they're doing and who they're choosing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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