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OLD in your 40s...which sites/apps do you like?


misswillow

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misswillow

I'm back into online dating again after a broken engagement. I'm in my mid-40s, and the last time I did this I was in my late 30s. It is much slower for me now than it was then, which I suppose is because I'm older. I am on eHarmony, which is where I met my ex and many other guys years ago. But now, I have only met two guys in two months. This is just so different than how it used to be, I would sometimes meet multiple guys in a week. I figure it's time to venture out onto one of the other sites, but which to choose? Match, OKCupid, Bumble? (I don't think I'm up for Tinder as I'm more relationship-oriented) Those of you in my age range, which sites do you like? And have you found it more difficult in your 40s, especially as a woman? Is it because men are looking for younger women?

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I was online dating from 45 to 49. No it was not hard for me. I met close to 200 men during those years. I needed 10 minutes on line to get a date. What was hard though was to find a serious man. I met many men freshly out of relationships, many younger men looking for a cougar, many married men looking for a mistress and the list goes on. I finally met my boyfriend on Badoo.

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I'm back into online dating again after a broken engagement. I'm in my mid-40s, and the last time I did this I was in my late 30s. It is much slower for me now than it was then, which I suppose is because I'm older. I am on eHarmony, which is where I met my ex and many other guys years ago. But now, I have only met two guys in two months. This is just so different than how it used to be, I would sometimes meet multiple guys in a week. I figure it's time to venture out onto one of the other sites, but which to choose? Match, OKCupid, Bumble? (I don't think I'm up for Tinder as I'm more relationship-oriented) Those of you in my age range, which sites do you like? And have you found it more difficult in your 40s, especially as a woman? Is it because men are looking for younger women?

 

Welcome back to OLDing...:eek: lol

 

You're right about steering clear of tinder....avoid it like the plague

 

E harmony, match...all the paid sites move at a slower pace because theres less selection...much less daters on paid sites...which can be a good or a bad thing

 

I would try okcupid and pof. They're very similar...a few more douches looking for hookups on pof but eh...what can you do

 

I've never tried bumble but I've heard good things about it

 

The more you branch out...the better your odds

 

However I will say there is a down side to dating lots of guys at once so try to look at it like quality over quantity

 

Best of luck girl! :D

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Gr8fuln2020

In my late-40s and use POF exclusively now. I have had luck with EH, OKC and POF, but not Match (single date, but didn't really give it a chance). I refuse to pay for any site.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

I am in my forties and had the same experience and right now, after a 10 month eHarmony relationship ended, I'm taking at least the summer off from dating and really not sure I'll do online dating again. (Although I also don't know how else I'll meet anyone since I work from home alone and only go out to listen to music, not to pick up men!). eHarmony has a lot of matches that are too far away (one of our issues we had), OKCupid has so much crossover from other apps. I'd probably do Match if I was going to do it again.

 

Whatever you do, I don't advise getting into a relationship with someone who is still married (divorce not finalized) or freshly divorced and still hurt from it.

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Tinder! :)

 

I'm 43 and met my boyfriend, also 43, on Tinder. We celebrate our one year this month.

 

Tinder gets a bad rap, but like all other sites, you just need to filter wisely. Of course there are guys just looking for hook-ups. But there are also guys on there who are looking for serious relationships.

 

I found Tinder much easier to use. I liked it better than OKCupid and Bumble. You could quickly see and swipe on guys, and only those who swiped right on you, too, were able to message you.

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mortensorchid

I am of the opinion they pretty much all are bad, some are worse than others. Here is my take on it (no matter your age or circumstances):

 

App based (Bumble, Tinder, etc.) - Tinder especially has a rep for hook ups. And that goes on, of course, but if you are looking for otherwise, not for you. Bumble a bit less, but the mentality is still there. I met a couple of people through both, one is a friend still, but he said when we met he just wanted to be friends and that's fine with me - we're friends. But you'll met a LOT of whackjobs who are just looking for a hook up and nothing serious.

 

Free websites - OkCupid and POF are the free ones, but don't hold your breath. POF is sleazier to be sure, OkCupid is just a bunch of talking.

 

EHarmony - I've done it twice and results were lackluster to say the least. You have to fill out that long questionnaire, ultimately they will match you within someone who is within a range of your zip code. A buddy of mine was matched with his sister on it. I would end up talking to maybe five people on it, once you get through that tedious ask each other questions section. I only actually connected with two people directly through it. One lived in another state, we exchanged numbers, had maybe four or five phone calls, then I never heard from him again. The other I met face to face, we met, then after two or three text messages I never heard from him again. Had another friend who met her husband through it, but they are divorced today. I would say that EHarmony is an expensive way to talk to people, nothing more.

 

Match - In my experience, you will connect with the most people possible on this website. As in you will exchange emails, phone numbers, and meet the most people face to face with it. With that being said though, it's all about numbers not quality. I did actually date two people from there, both treated me badly and after six weeks it was over in both cases.

 

It's what it is I guess. OLD is a tool for meeting others, but, nothing takes the place of the old fashioned ways of meeting others. We do it because we can't think of anything else to do to try. It's kind of how we live now, they say do things you like that bring you around people (parties, community involvement, etc.) but that doesn't bring in more opportunities to meet people and make a connection, it just gets you out of the house.

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Gr8fuln2020
Free websites - OkCupid and POF are the free ones, but don't hold your breath. POF is sleazier to be sure, OkCupid is just a bunch of talking.

 

 

I have only met a single 'sleazy' person from either of these sites. My experience.

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much like real estate online dating is all up to location,location,location.

have met mostly women who just want to have sex no-strings on their terms on pof and okcupid.

 

bumble seems to be the best app around where i live and funnily enough tinder also.

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misswillow

Thanks everyone for the advice. I guess I'll just have to start trying the other sites to see what seems to work best for me, if anything. I was single most of my 30s and I can't believe I'm back at this again. Ugh.

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