phone number reversal

[Fair]

I'd like to hear from men especially. What does it mean when a man gives you his phone number without asking for yours in online dating? I'm in a disagreement with a friend over this. I think when a man gives a woman his number it's because men don't think she'll call, so it's a case of "he's just not that into you." Or am I wrong? Does he really hope you'll call?

 

I would think if he really likes you he'd make sure he has a way to get in touch with you if you take your online dating account down, so this seems like a luke warm, don't really care but want to be polite kind of thing... or like a game. My friend doesn't see it that way, she thinks it is a positive sign. She's going to call the guy but I think she should ignore him and keep looking for someone who puts out more interest than that.

 

Why do you give out your number without asking for hers, guys? I think when a man is interested, it's full steam ahead... but if he's not really interested he'll be casual about it like this. Your thoughts? Curious.

[Gaeta]

It's just courtesy for a man to offer his number and to wait for the lady to offer hers and not demand it.

 

Your friend should call.

[WaitingForBardot]

It's just courtesy for a man to offer his number and to wait for the lady to offer hers and not demand it.

 

Your friend should call.

I agree with Gaeta on this.

[kendahke]

What does it mean when a man gives you his phone number without asking for yours in online dating? I'm in a disagreement with a friend over this. I think when a man gives a woman his number it's because men don't think she'll call, so it's a case of "he's just not that into you." Or am I wrong? Does he really hope you'll call? .

 

I think you're wrong here. In my experience, when a man gives me his phone number it's because he wants me to call him because he enjoyed talking to me, either in person or on the dating app, and he wants to talk with me some more. I seriously doubt a guy who isn't into you will give you his number---if they're not into you like that, they won't give you their number, period. They'll just say "take care" at the end of your conversation.

 

I do believe that he really hopes you'll call. When you do, then he has your number.

 

My friend doesn't see it that way, she thinks it is a positive sign. She's going to call the guy but I think she should ignore him and keep looking for someone who puts out more interest than that.

 

You do not know that to be true. This is speculation.

 

Your friend is a far better judge as to this guy's level of interest, not you. You weren't there.

 

Why do you give out your number without asking for hers, guys? I think when a man is interested, it's full steam ahead... but if he's not really interested he'll be casual about it like this. Your thoughts? Curious

 

Exactly how else is he supposed to gauge the woman's level of interest if she refuses to take his phone number? Giving out the means to get in directly in touch with him demonstrates interest. It would be different if he was giving out his work number.

[smackie9]

From what I have seen posted before, it's very common for women not to give out their number, but would rather message through the OLD site. OLD is old hat for Gaeta, she's hit it spot on. It's no different than wanting to meet in public and not having the guy pick you up where you live. It's a safety concern.

[Andy_K]

It's often because it puts less pressure on you. If someone asks for your number, you're forced into a very binary decision of either giving the green light, or rejecting him. On the other hand if he gives you his, this isn't true. If you're not interested, you can just say 'okay thanks' and not call, and if you're unsure or not comfortable yet, you can wait as long as you like before either calling or giving him your number.

 

So it likely courtesy, like Gaeta says.

[coolheadal]

Women always send me theirs first LOL. Sometimes I give out mine first. It depends on the situation I am in. Over the past weekend I had a few weird ones. About this issue too. Some sort of game with text only no phone calls. I can't do that I need to here their voice on the phone. Text is static impersonal.

[RecentChange]

Not OLD, but around here, I swear men giving out their number is the normal pick up routine. I have had guys slip their card into my pocket.

 

To me it seems like yes, they are hoping you call, without the pressure or being on the spot to give out your number.

[smackie9]

Not OLD, but around here, I swear men giving out their number is the normal pick up routine. I have had guys slip their card into my pocket.

 

To me it seems like yes, they are hoping you call, without the pressure or being on the spot to give out your number.

Like having a note passed to you during class? lol

[RecentChange]

Like having a note passed to you during class? lol

 

Seriously, I have had "if you don't like the drink I recommended the next one is one me" - followed by a passed card.

 

Had a guy say, "you should call me" and stuck a card in my hip pocket.

 

Feigned "business" contacts, often an excuse to pass along a number.

 

Plus so many guys do contract and freelance work here, having cards with personal numbers is pretty common place. They will find an excuse to give you one.

[alphamale]

Why do you give out your number without asking for hers, guys? I think when a man is interested, it's full steam ahead... but if he's not really interested he'll be casual about it like this. Your thoughts? Curious.

shy or "nice" guys will give you their phone number first because they are afraid to ask for your # and also want to avoid rejection. what they don't realize is that women rarely, if ever, want to make the first call.

[dumbass2]

After I've communicated back and forth a few times and I feel the interest I will ask if she would like to exchange numbers and that I would like to call her. It hasn't failed yet. She'll either email back with her number and I'll do the same letting her know I'll call or she might just email back yes in which I'll email back with my number and wait to hear from her either with her number or her just calling me first. I don't give out my number unless I'm very interesting in a woman.

[act00]

I don't really think the phone number exchange is a good judge on a man's interest level. There are women who don't like to give theirs out until some time has passed or they meet in person (OLD), so men just give theirs -- of course when she calls/texts, he now has her number. The end result is it shows her level of interest and comfort. She may text/call first or share her number so he can do it first...either way, an exchange of numbers occurs at some point.

 

I have had men ask for my number or give me theirs. I think they usually give out theirs first. I've never thought one way or the other for it as far as demonstration of their level of interest.

[spiderowl]

This is an interesting question. Sometimes guys offer their number upfront with a minimum of communication beforehand. In my opinion, this is a pretty stupid thing to do and not a good sign. It is like saying 'here's my number, if you want me, phone, because I'm not going to bother messaging'. It is also a way of saying they prefer the woman to do the work. I prefer to get to know a person a bit by messaging first. The guy online could be anybody - do I really want to phone a guy I know nothing about?

 

If after chatting a while a guy offers his number, that could be a polite way of saying they would like to talk but without asking for your number. I prefer it if a guys asks for my number (after getting to know a bit about each other by messaging). I suppose I have found that guys who offer their number usually do it too soon for me. It may suit other women though.

 

The ideal is that we chat a bit, get on well (according to my judgement), then talk round the idea of meeting and then he asks if we can talk. It is a more natural flow of things somehow. Problem with this is that often he thinks we are getting on well when I am just being friendly. Hmm.

[Fair]

shy or "nice" guys will give you their phone number first because they are afraid to ask for your # and also want to avoid rejection. what they don't realize is that women rarely, if ever, want to make the first call.

 

I thought a lot of men knew women don't like to make the first call... I mean, men like to be the ones conducting the chase normally, not the other way around. So it throws us off and makes us wonder if he just doesn't want to put in the effort of pursuing us because he's not that into us. I agree, women hate this... or a lot of us do. If it's the way things are done nowadays I never knew about it but... ew.

[LivingWaterPlease]

I like a guy to ask for my number if he's interested. If a guy gives me his number I'll never call because I like a very confident guy who isn't afraid to ask for my number and then use it.

[amaysngrace]

He thinks of her as a booty call who will hit him up for sex sometime.

 

Or hopes so anyway

[Fair]

my friend's online crush went on holiday for some alone time this morning, said he was leaving at 5 am. She had decided not to call him, opting to give him her number so he could call her instead, and put the ball back in his court.

 

She expected one of his immediate replies, showing some kind of excitement over it or at least a thank you... but hasn't heard anything from him at all yet, today, and I didn't say it but you can't tell me he's not been checking his mail via cell phone. A road trip doesn't cut you off from civilization. so perhaps, I was right. If a guy likes you he isn't content to take the passive role by being the one to give you his number and playing the wait and see game therefore as soon as she called his bluff and gave him her number instead he disappeared...

[sam light]

While women may not like being the one to make the first call, they also don't like to give their number to just anyone. As far as OLD...I've often given out my number first, it cuts down on emails to women who don't intend on moving things along. I'm a guy so I mentioned women above, but surely women have the same issues from men.

 

 

 

 

 

So far it's been an unneeded precaution, but I give out the number of my throw-away phone at first. Could be a poser on the other end, or worse.