newheart Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Or do you respond at all? I just don't feel right ignoring messages, especially when some people take the time to actually read my profile and write something other than "hey" or "hi", lol. If you aren't interested, do you let them know, or do you just not reply? If you are the person sending the first message, do you prefer a message back saying you are not interested, or is it better to not receive anything back? Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 When its on OLD and it's someone I've never met, I just don't respond to their messages. Why start a conversation, even one telling them you aren't interested, if you aren't interested? Also, if I messaged everyone on OLD that messaged me just to tell them I wasn't interested, I would be spending a good part of a day just doing that. I respond to the ones I am interested in. I do check out profiles of everyone that messages me to gauge if I want to respond to them or not. But I do not respond to those that I have no interest in. If I send them a message and they don't respond, I just figure they weren't interested in me and move on. No harm, no foul. It doesn't make me feel like they are horrible because they didn't respond. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Or do you respond at all? I just don't feel right ignoring messages, especially when some people take the time to actually read my profile and write something other than "hey" or "hi", lol. If you aren't interested, do you let them know, or do you just not reply? If you are the person sending the first message, do you prefer a message back saying you are not interested, or is it better to not receive anything back? You don't have to respond. But I'll be honest. When a woman did respond, and it was usually with something pretty arbitrary, I was like "Wow, that was nice." Because the vast majority of people don't bother. Not that it makes that big of a difference. It's just one of those very rare things. Like a person letting you go ahead of them at the supermarket without even asking. It also matter how many guys message you with legit, thought out messages. But still, responding to 10 a day with arbitrary messages would take 2 minutes. But again, just my opinion. Lots of guys will chime in saying they prefer no response. This topic has been covered ... a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 I felt like you at first. I thought they made an effort to write to me something well put together so I will reply. Almost each time I responded thank you but not interested for such and such reasons they ended up arguing with me my reasons so after a while of this I decided if I am not interested I simply do not reply. Some men don't understand 'no', some men even got back to me calling me names for declining their messages. Don't bother. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 If you respond back, it's just going to encourage someone who can't take no for an answer, and you are also inviting nasty remarks back in retaliation for telling them no. I would just not respond and block them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 As a man, and with some decent pics and a short, trying to be witty profile, I've never had much trouble doing OLD and going on dates. Hence getting women message me first. Going to be honest, there are a handful of women I'm not interested in at all, often for their apparence (we guys get rejected all the time for the same reason.) I'm past answering to everyone. Not replying rather than ''sorry not interested'' is my new motto. Women do the same, nobody's entitled a response. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 It really depends. Sometimes I just ignore. I get a some contacts from people too far away. I want to date someone who doesn't take more than 20 minutes to drive to, maybe 30, so my radius is very small for dating, and when I get contacts from people in neighboring cities, I will let them know they're too far away. It just doesn't work for me. Recently I told someone not having a car is a deal-breaker. There were more reasons beyond the car, but that's what I said. Anyway, I do try to write back something nice, but no thanks, but I will ignore. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 I have two responses: 1. No response. 2. "I don't think we are a match. Good luck and be safe." One or the other. If the message is thoughtful, I send the latter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 I responded once to say "thanks for your message. I don't think we have much in common, so I don't think we are a match. But I wish you all the best in your search..." His response was "You stuck up *****! Who do you think you are? Do you think you're better than me or something." That was the last time that I spent time responding to a message... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 I responded once to say "thanks for your message. I don't think we have much in common, so I don't think we are a match. But I wish you all the best in your search..." His response was "You stuck up *****! Who do you think you are? Do you think you're better than me or something." That was the last time that I spent time responding to a message... wow...men could be so mean and vindictive and so not understanding... wow...so I shouldn't be upset with what the guy told me then... I got so many msg, with real or fake photo, there is no way I would response to people I am not interested. I simply too exhausted. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 I responded once to say "thanks for your message. I don't think we have much in common, so I don't think we are a match. But I wish you all the best in your search..." His response was "You stuck up *****! Who do you think you are? Do you think you're better than me or something." That was the last time that I spent time responding to a message... I have heard from so many ladies of the abuse they get from men who are 'declined.' A lot of creepy people out there reveling in this anonymous world we live in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 i feel really bad when i dont reply to messages so i always reply which ends up me feeling overwhelmed responding to messages .....its easy to not reply once they get sexual or rude....or to say im actually a celibate mormon......but even that gets me down......that its all about sex.....and they normally if i reply with i am celibate till marriage...i become a challenge....im just not an old kinda girl..... i dont like the disconnect .....i dont like the masses of replies....i dont like the rude guys....and i dont like not replying to lonely men.....i feel obligated....and slack if i dont...and yeah its overwhelming....i like one on one....face to face.....honesty.....so i dont even log on to delete my profiles....i forget what sites i join anyway once the messages stop...and every now and again i think ok ill try...this time will eb different ill be strong and just communicate with guys i might like.....multiple replies........and nah..not strong i give up.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
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