Mermaid007 Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 Hello, I need your advice please. I met this man on the on-line dating site. He contacted me first. After few messages he asked me out. He is 38 and I am 43. We met for a first time yesterday. I went to a date without any expectations as I did not really think he was my type, and was careful with my personal information. However, during the date, we started talking about our hobbies and interests, and, as it seemed to me at the moment, were having fun. We were laughing at each other jokes, teasing each other, did not talk about exes/ politics etc. I think there was just enough talking/ listening from both sides. He touched my hands few times and complimented my hair. Mentioned that I should come and see where he works (as I like photography, and his shop is photogenic) and wanted to see my travel photos. He does not drink, I had two glasses of wine. Date lasted two hours. At the tube station, we hugged and kissed on the cheek but not on the lips. He said talk soon. So far no messages. I noticed he is on-line on the dating site though he mentioned he does not use it much. Just before meeting, he gave me his phone No but I did not give him mine. Still, he can contact me via that on-line dating site. I do not know what to do. Wait a bit longer and then send him sms from my phone thanking for a great night and give him a link to the photos he wanted to see? Or, if he does not contact me within next few dates, just let him go? I am not sure I made it clear during the date that I am interested… Thank you very much for your help! Link to post Share on other sites
Telemachus Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 If you want a second date, ask him out. It couldn't be any more obvious. You didn't need to include any of the details. Call him, and propose day, time, place, and activity. You should be aware that the one asking should always expect to pay. If you don't want to buy him dinner, then ask him to do something free with you, like a stroll around a public park, or to a museum to visit your favorite work of art. Invite him for a cup of coffee. Remember to specify day, time, place and activity. He'll say yes, no, or propose an alternative. What could be easier, and why didn't this occur to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 I'd send him the text. He might feel a bit awkward messaging you on the site because he doesn't have your number. The worst that can happen is he is not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
MajesticUnicorn Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 He gave you his number, so the ball is now in your court. He doesn't even have the option to text or call you. Yeah maybe he could message you on the website, but that's kinda weird in my opinion. Just shoot him a simple follow up text - say you had a good time, it was great to meet him and you hope to do it again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 Absolutely send the "thank you for the date, I had fun text". If you don't send that you will not get a 2nd date. If you do send it, I can't promise you will get a date but for now I'd assume he's on the site again because he has concluded you are not interested. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 If I gave my number and my date didn't give hers, I would understand if she was being careful but wondering if that was her showing non-interest. In that situation I would not contact her on the dating app as the ball would be in her court and under the circumstances since she had my number I would expect either she would text or call or she was not interested and move on. If I gave my number and she didn't give hers, it would be a clear indication to me that if she wanted to see me again she would let me know. If you want to see him again, text him tonight after work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 If you like him, shoot him a text and tell him you had a wonderful time yesterday and hope you can do it again. I think you should have texted him that you got home safely and thank-you after the date if you really liked him. I'm going to agree, since he gave you his number, the ball is pretty much in your court. I don't understand why you didn't give him yours. In any case, not providing your number would seem to me to be a clear hint that you just weren't that interested, so if you are, you really do have to reach out. Link to post Share on other sites
johngalt1149 Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 If you like the guy, text him. Worst he can say is no. I do not agree with the poster who said because you invited you should pay. Men just as they should open doors and pull seats out, should always pay. If not walk away. Only skinflints think that way to have a woman who should be treated like a queen, pay. It is the price of admission and often what makes them the chivalrous Man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mermaid007 Posted May 8, 2017 Author Share Posted May 8, 2017 Hello, thank you all very much for your help. I texted him on Friday, saying that I had a nice time etc. Then I asked him if he wanted to watch me playing basketball (which he mentioned he wanted to do during our first date). He said, yes, with pleasure, when are you playing next, and we arranged it for today. At midday I received his sms saying that he hurt his back on Sunday, and will not make it, but "next time for sure". He did not mention when exactly next time, though we exchanged few flirty sms after that. I guess now it is his turn to make a next move though I have feeling he is not that interested... but at least now I know... Link to post Share on other sites
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