hippychick3 Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and I see each other either every weekend or every other weekend due to distance. Next weekend I'm going to be driving to him. He sent me a screenshot of an event in a town close by saying "our Saturday." Given the event, I know that his best friend would be going too so it's clear that they had discussed it already and made the plans that we would all meet up there (his best friend and his wife). I like them and it's an event that I would enjoy, but I'm really irked that he didn't discuss with me first before making the plans with his friend. This is not the first time this has happened that he makes plans for us without asking my input. I'm pissed that he did that, and he's pissed that he tried to make plans for us and I wasn't happy. All I would have wanted is for him to ask me what I thought and if it was something I wanted to do. He claims that he figured I'd want to since it's something I enjoy a lot too. But, when my bf visits me here, I never decide what we are doing with MY friends without consulting with him first. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Just because you opt to discuss it with him doesn't mean he needs to discuss it with you. I'm not seeing what the issue is here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hippychick3 Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 Just because you opt to discuss it with him doesn't mean he needs to discuss it with you. I'm not seeing what the issue is here. He would be upset if I made plans for us to do something with my friends without asking him first if he wanted to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Well, you no longer need to follow that rule with him because he didn't follow it with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 Really?! If it was something you don't enjoy then I can understand but it is an event he knew you would enjoy, so what's the fuss? Don't create problems when there is none. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 There would be nothing wrong with, after this event, you telling him how much you enjoyed that outing, but you would like it very much if next time you two could do something just the two of you . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted May 2, 2017 Share Posted May 2, 2017 He would be upset if I made plans for us to do something with my friends without asking him first if he wanted to do that. Separate out these 2 factos.... 1. Doing things with your friends 2. Doing something you know he doesn't have interest in. Also is the isdue making plans all the time with friends?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hippychick3 Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 There would be nothing wrong with, after this event, you telling him how much you enjoyed that outing, but you would like it very much if next time you two could do something just the two of you . . . We will have plenty of time for just the two of us. This event will be just half a day. We spend the majority of our time just the two of us, so that's not really the issue. I actually enjoy spending some of our time together with our friends. My issue was him making the plans for us with his friend rather than with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hippychick3 Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 Separate out these 2 factos.... 1. Doing things with your friends 2. Doing something you know he doesn't have interest in. Also is the isdue making plans all the time with friends?? I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're saying. I wouldn't ask him to do something he doesn't have interest in. We really don't make plans all the time with friends. The majority of the time during our weekends are just the two of us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hippychick3 Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 Well, you no longer need to follow that rule with him because he didn't follow it with you. Well, he would just say he didn't want to do go along with the plan if he didn't want to. And, honestly, if I told him I didn't want to go to this event, we wouldn't go. But, I just wouldn't do that if he already made the plans. We are different in that respect. Link to post Share on other sites
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