amazonrambo Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Dated her a couple of times now and she used to initiate texts every day or every 1-2 days. This week it's not as much. Had a few drunk texts lf her too. On Friday evening I was texting her saying I was going out and she asked if I was celebrating my birthday early Her last text before I went out was ":) hahaa... I would totally appreciate a drunken text. No have a fab time, have a few drinks for me". So I text her a sweet drunk text at 2am saying that she was one of the most stunning girls in the north, that she'll do great at her job and that i'm looking forward to seeing her soon". She replied the following morning saying "Glad you had a good night and totally appreciated waking up to this text this morning smile on my face for today! Thank you xxx". I didn't reply, because I felt like it didn't require one. I have posted things on Facebook since as well. Her text was at 9am and it is now 2am the following day. Would she think I was ignoring her? Or would she not expect a reply to that text? She didn't ask a question back or continue the conversation so I didn't reply. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 She might. any reason why you can't shoot her a text? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 You're really overthinking alllll of this If you dont learn to reign in your thoughts....dating will be the death of you (trust me) Do what feels natural to you...dont overthink every little detail I think you're doing a good job showing interest...she's doing fine too Just chill Breathe 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Are you kidding? If not what has the world come to? You send a drunken text to a woman (which she's OK with). She replies back in the morning, when if it really was a drunken b-day bash I can't imagine that you were even up at 9 a.m. Now it's 2 p.m. when you posted this & you are worried that 5 hours have passed since you texted some person you barely know. OMG. I don't understand this instant gratification generation so clearly my advice will be minimal. But, people get bent about less. If the person who sent you a text can see you were participating in any other form of communication social media they will probably be freaked out by the fact that you didn't text them. If it's potentially romantic like this she will conclude one of two things, neither good for you: 1). you are not that into her & she was a fool for reaching out OR 2). you are already in a drunken hook up. Communicate sooner rather than later. . 5 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Is there an actual problem - or are you just overthinking whether or not you should have replied? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DontBreakEven Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Do you want to continue talking to this girl? Friggin text back. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 Okay I replied at about 7:41am this morning as I'm up for work early, she'll still be asleep though. I told her "G'morning! Sorry for the late reply as I thought I sent you a text back, was too hungover. But you're welcome Drunk or not, I'd have sent that anyway xxx" A little white lie about forgetting to send something but I was hungover in the morning. If she does reply I'll make some conversation then end it the conversation properly next time. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Glad you sent a text back. But the apology and drunk explanation was a bit much. It comes across as a bit try hard or making excuses. A simple "Good morning, hope you have a great day" (or whatever one says in good morning texts) would have been quite sufficient. Anyway, it's too late now. Just try and avoid being someone who's into unnecessary apologies and excuses. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fromheart Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Know you're asking women but I'm going to chime in. Messaging, texting is for setting dates only. Right now your behavior is feminine and that will put her in her masculine. Set a date and ge back to work in the meantime, otherwise you'll push her away. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 From your first post you said she always initiates. Then she said she would be up for a drunken text from you. She has backed off from initiating this week to see if you would step up and initiate but you barely have. She wants more initiation from you so that it's not down to her to do all the work. Me personally, I don't like all day chit chat texts but even so all the initiation of any type of texts shouldn't just be down to me, nor should it just be down to her. she has pretty plainly said but also indicated by her actions that you need to step up. She will by now be thinking your interest is low. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 Glad you sent a text back. But the apology and drunk explanation was a bit much. It comes across as a bit try hard or making excuses. A simple "Good morning, hope you have a great day" (or whatever one says in good morning texts) would have been quite sufficient. Anyway, it's too late now. Just try and avoid being someone who's into unnecessary apologies and excuses. Yeah I get you. It's the first time I've mentioned sorry to her, but she's done it before when she apologised the next day for falling asleep. I was going to keep it fresh but didn't want her thinking I was ignoring her all day. I'll keep note of it for the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 Know you're asking women but I'm going to chime in. Messaging, texting is for setting dates only. Right now your behavior is feminine and that will put her in her masculine. Set a date and ge back to work in the meantime, otherwise you'll push her away. We have a date set for a day this week already. She mostly initiates with me so we usually have short but fun and flirty text exchanges. I've been initiating last couple of days though, I'll tell her it's getting busy at work and back off. She knows where we're meeting, what day and time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 From your first post you said she always initiates. Then she said she would be up for a drunken text from you. She has backed off from initiating this week to see if you would step up and initiate but you barely have. She wants more initiation from you so that it's not down to her to do all the work. Me personally, I don't like all day chit chat texts but even so all the initiation of any type of texts shouldn't just be down to me, nor should it just be down to her. she has pretty plainly said but also indicated by her actions that you need to step up. She will by now be thinking your interest is low. I have been initiating this week btw. More than I usually do but someone on here has suggested I shouldn't as it makes me look feminine. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 I have been initiating this week btw. More than I usually do but someone on here has suggested I shouldn't as it makes me look feminine. I'm probably not the one to say this as I have never followed dating rules...but from my understanding, the guy is supposed to do the chasing. I think your friend was pulling your leg. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 The guy is supposed to be doing the chasing, definitely. Girls like to feel like their guy is interested. If you want to hang back and be all macho about it - wait for her to come to you - you will probably be doing it alone... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 We have a date set for a day this week already. She mostly initiates with me so we usually have short but fun and flirty text exchanges. I've been initiating last couple of days though, I'll tell her it's getting busy at work and back off. She knows where we're meeting, what day and time. Women and people aren't all the exact same. She's already really clearly indicated she wants you to step up more. She obviously likes more text chat - which is OK. Just don't overdo it and make sure you always wait for a reply vefore sending another text. Why on earth tell her you're busy and back off? *bangs head against wall* She wants MORE FROM YOU!!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Next text just ask her out, but you don't need to feel you need to keep up texting back and forth for no reason. Ask her out, Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Why can't you shoot her a text back? Or call? She texts that she's glad you had fun and she was happy to wake up to this text you sent her, and...crickets...nothing. You are clearly demonstrating you are not interested. Why didn't you text her and ask, "How's your day?" "It made me smile that my text made you smile. How's your morning? Looking forward to seeing you on Tuesday." "Did you hear about <some random, interesting thing>?" Really, there are things to say. You're probably early enough in the relationship, it's not the time to incorporate her into your personal, friend life, and she understands this as well, but still, the fact she is not a priority hurts, and you have fully blown her off. You went out and partied without her, she texted you to say she's glad you had fun and glad to hear from you, and you blew her off completely. Must she always be the one to initiate, or can you man up and pick up the rope once in awhile? Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 (edited) So I took your advice and responded the following morning, made a conversation out of it. I was working though, her responses varied from 15 minutes to an hour. Me: G'morning! Sorry for the late reply as I thought I sent you a text back, was too hungover. But you're welcome Drunk or not, I'd have sent that anyway x" A little white lie about texting back, but I was considering sending something Girl - Morning haha hungover [my name], I'd love to see that. Aww thanks working today? x Me - Oh would you now Yeah I'm working then going out for a drink with a work mate after. You out with your girls tonight? x Girl - Yeah I think you'd be a needy hungover person; wanting cuddles and a bed day! Oh nice, have a good day... yeah meeting up with them later today. Going to try and be sensible x Me - "If you're hinting for cuddles with me.. I don't come so easy! Haha you and the word sensible.. never Sounds great. I'll be returning to superhero duties soon x" (after an hour) Girl - "You don't come so easy.. Right i'll remember that I know i'm going to try and be sensible, set myself a goal haha x" (after an hour) Me - Haha, I'm going to have to focus on work. I'll see you at 7 outside [place] on Wednesday, we'll go to this little place I came across. Enjoy your night out x Now I got no reply to that which was at 1pm and it's now midnight, but she has been active on facebook and noticed she was online on the dating website tonight at 11pm for a short period, unless those apps just sign you in randomly lol. Should I take no response as a red flag? We have a date planned this Wednesday and she agreed to the day and time last week, so I've already asked her out. It's just usually she'd at least respond back "okay see you later" or "goodnight". It's also my birthday after just turning midnight, so guess we'll see if she sends me a birthday message over text or facebook. If not, says it all I guess. Edited April 30, 2017 by amazonrambo Link to post Share on other sites
GoneGirl32 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 (edited) Do you want to continue talking to this girl? Friggin text back. Yeah, this is exactly what I was thinking. To the OP, what are you expecting? That she should text you AGAIN? Even though you never responded to hers? Why can't you shoot her one back? Keep the flow of communique going. Sounded like it was going really well! You think she will be more intrigued if you *freeze her out* or something? SMH. You want her to chase you? Would that make you feel more secure? What are you thinking? Seriously want to know. Edited April 30, 2017 by GoneGirl32 Link to post Share on other sites
GoneGirl32 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 So I took your advice and responded the following morning, made a conversation out of it. I was working though, her responses varied from 15 minutes to an hour. Me: G'morning! Sorry for the late reply as I thought I sent you a text back, was too hungover. But you're welcome Drunk or not, I'd have sent that anyway x" A little white lie about texting back, but I was considering sending something Girl - Morning haha hungover [my name], I'd love to see that. Aww thanks working today? x Me - Oh would you now Yeah I'm working then going out for a drink with a work mate after. You out with your girls tonight? x Girl - Yeah I think you'd be a needy hungover person; wanting cuddles and a bed day! Oh nice, have a good day... yeah meeting up with them later today. Going to try and be sensible x Me - "If you're hinting for cuddles with me.. I don't come so easy! Haha you and the word sensible.. never Sounds great. I'll be returning to superhero duties soon x" (after an hour) Girl - "You don't come so easy.. Right i'll remember that I know i'm going to try and be sensible, set myself a goal haha x" (after an hour) Me - Haha, I'm going to have to focus on work. I'll see you at 7 outside [place] on Wednesday, we'll go to this little place I came across. Enjoy your night out x Now I got no reply to that which was at 1pm and it's now midnight, but she has been active on facebook and noticed she was online on the dating website tonight at 11pm for a short period, unless those apps just sign you in randomly lol. Should I take no response as a red flag? We have a date planned this Wednesday and she agreed to the day and time last week, so I've already asked her out. It's just usually she'd at least respond back "okay see you later" or "goodnight". It's also my birthday after just turning midnight, so guess we'll see if she sends me a birthday message over text or facebook. If not, says it all I guess. Dude, please chill. You basically ended the convo by saying "see you at 7:00 on Wed, enjoy your night." Now if it were me, I might have replied back "you too." Meaning enjoy your night too .... but it's not the end of the world that she did not respond to that. She has a life, so do you! Relax, and as previous poster said "Breathe." :) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 hey op read the last text convo...seems like it is all good....in my opinion when you feel liek texting hr text her she will reply.thats what a guy who is chasing does...so step up and bat...be confident if she doesnt text you by lunch time th eenxt day ...text her...show interest.....interest is sexy......as far as the dating goes have you implied exclusvity yet or has she? Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 (edited) Dude, please chill. You basically ended the convo by saying "see you at 7:00 on Wed, enjoy your night." Now if it were me, I might have replied back "you too." Meaning enjoy your night too .... but it's not the end of the world that she did not respond to that. She has a life, so do you! Relax, and as previous poster said "Breathe." :) Okay, thanks I was just wondering, she usually does but didn't this time so thought it was odd. Then again, a few days ago I ended the conversation and she did the same, then got a drunk text off her a few hours later. No drunken texting from her tonight though, which she usually does and it said she was on the online dating for 20 or so mins when I was on, unless those apps log you in without you knowing ha. I sent the last text anyway, so I'll sit and wait for her to reach out next time unless it gets to our date day and I'll just text her on the day "Looking forward to seeing you later". Should I assume a red flag if she doesn't send a birthday message? She knows it's my birthday today (1am here) and she kept referencing it. She has me on Facebook too so she'd see it. Edited April 30, 2017 by amazonrambo Link to post Share on other sites
Author amazonrambo Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 hey op read the last text convo...seems like it is all good....in my opinion when you feel liek texting hr text her she will reply.thats what a guy who is chasing does...so step up and bat...be confident if she doesnt text you by lunch time th eenxt day ...text her...show interest.....interest is sexy......as far as the dating goes have you implied exclusvity yet or has she? Nah, it's only two dates. I do notice she appears online on the dating app, so I know she's messaging other guys but she only tends to be on there for 20 mins or so late at night. I mean that's cool, so do I. She used to initiate texting tonnes before this week, but she's toned it down this week and I feel like I'm doing all the chasing now. That's what worries me is chasing her too much and putting her off, assuming she isn't put off already Link to post Share on other sites
GoneGirl32 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Nah, it's only two dates. I do notice she appears online on the dating app, so I know she's messaging other guys but she only tends to be on there for 20 mins or so late at night. I mean that's cool, so do I. She used to initiate texting tonnes before this week, but she's toned it down this week and I feel like I'm doing all the chasing now. That's what worries me is chasing her too much and putting her off, assuming she isn't put off already You have a date on Wednrsday? Text her again Tuesday to confirm, if you don't hear from her first. Tuesday is only two days from now. Surely you can hold off texting with her for two days? Or txt Monday even, late. Something jokey and fun, something to make her laugh! Link to post Share on other sites
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