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Small gift for a third date, e.g keyring?


fmfan08

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This girl I'm seeing shows high amounts of interest in person but also initiates a lot. Now she's a huge harry potter fan, like, she loves it. We're supposed to be going to the cinema for our third date (I guess a chance for me to put my arm around her, cuddle her, etc) but wondering if getting her a harry potter themed keyring is a good idea? I'd be hinting to her that I have a small surprise but she'll have to wait until the end of the date which keeps her intrigued, just wondering if this is too soon and will it come off too strong? To me it's only a keyring, but I don't want to push her away.

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MoreThanThat

I'd say you saw this and thought of her vs making it seem like you went out of your way to find it. The latter would feel creepy to me.

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Its cute and thoughtful :)

 

If she really likes you she'll appreciate the gesture

 

Go for it :D

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I'd be hinting to her that I have a small surprise but she'll have to wait until the end of the date which keeps her intrigued...

 

I think that would be odd to be on the receiving end of and builds it up to be more than it is, which is also "off" since you are newly dating. I would just take it out and offer it to her casually, and say you saw it and thought of her.

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I think that would be odd to be on the receiving end of and builds it up to be more than it is, which is also "off" since you are newly dating. I would just take it out and offer it to her casually, and say you saw it and thought of her.

 

Yeah I was thinking that too. Would give off the wrong vibe if she was thinking "what if it's an engagement ring uh oh :confused:" haha.

 

Yeah I'm leaning more towards just pulling the keyring out right at the end just before we kiss and say "I found something that reminded me of you". That sounds a lot more natural and no high expectations. Although I did like the idea of saying there's a surprise to keep her wondering throughout the date, but that might just cause more of a problem.

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I don't mind the idea of a small gift. I mind the idea of THAT small gift. A key ring implies that it ought to have keys attached to it or that you are thinking about giving her a key to your place. Based on the rest of your post I suspect you live at home to handing out keys is big no no.

 

 

Feel free to get her a sticker or something else HP related. Just don't get the key ring.

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First, don't start off by giving much in the way of gifts. It can really look desperate. However, to me, this is an okay early gift as long as you give it just casually, don't wrap it or anything. It's a mutual interest, so it's not unlike giving someone music or something like that because they expressed interest in a certain band. And even friends will do that. So I agree with the poster who said to just NOT make a big deal of it. Just real lightly and happily pull it out and go, Oh, look what I found! I picked it up because I knew you'd like it. Don't let there be a gap in conversation with you waiting to be kissed or something that would make her feel something was expected. Move right on to asking her about which one of the books or movies she liked best. Just keep it moving.

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Cookiesandough

If she likes you a lot already, this will come off sweet and endearing.

 

If she's feeling still feeling you out, which is very possible, this comes off as way too try-hard. I really wouldn't do it. You can save those things for later on when you have a better feel for how she feels about you.

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I don't mind the idea of a small gift. I mind the idea of THAT small gift. A key ring implies that it ought to have keys attached to it or that you are thinking about giving her a key to your place. Based on the rest of your post I suspect you live at home to handing out keys is big no no.

 

 

Feel free to get her a sticker or something else HP related. Just don't get the key ring.

Wow I would never think that, but an interesting perspective!

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I've seen several threads similar to this. What is with this trend of guys giving girls "gifts" on early dates? What are they trying to do? Show how extra extra sweet they are so the girl will like them more?

 

It doesn't work. It comes across as try-hard. At this point it instead really should be about how much fun you and she have together and how well you connect.

 

I agree w @MoreThanThat post #2. How do you just "happen to come across" a Harry Potter keyring anyway?

 

So, no brah. Save the gift-giving for later! If the keyring is really that special then buy it to give to her at a later time.

 

(Lest I sound like a *ahem* jerk, the fact that you are thinking about this enough to write a thread means that it is *already* too try-hard on your part, which makes it a bad idea!)

Edited by Imajerk17
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What happened to a cuddle on the first date?

 

Gift shouldn't be a problem. Not sure that I would build it up with telling her prior. Just give it to her and say that it reminded you of her or something.

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I don't see the big deal. If your dates so far have been casual, be casual in giving her the gift. Don't build it up or put a focus on it.

 

It also depends on how long you've known each other. Did you only recently meet and start dating, or did you know each other for a while before? If it's the latter I think that makes the gift more of a good gesture rather than a try-hard move.

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ChatroomHero
If she likes you a lot already, this will come off sweet and endearing.

 

If she's feeling still feeling you out, which is very possible, this comes off as way too try-hard. I really wouldn't do it. You can save those things for later on when you have a better feel for how she feels about you.

 

Agree completely. Over time I have gotten away from giving gifts until there is pretty much a firm relationship. You can't really buy her affection. If she likes you, she will like you with or without the gift. If she is on the fence, it's a little "eh", and very possible she will go home and pitch it or put it in a drawer.

 

 

With a gift if she likes you and it has no effect, or if she is on the fence it won't push her over in your favor but might turn her off, I have come to view it as a lose-lose situation.

 

 

It sounds like you want to "play" her a bit by building up this surprise and fake excitement for the end of the date, but the pay off is really, "Oooooh. A key chain. Neat. Were they out of Harry Potter pencil and eraser sets?". It just seems cheesy with no real benefit.

 

 

Now if you were with her in a store and she saw it and said, "cool" and without her knowing you bought it and gave it to her when you kissed her goodnight, then that is a good date gift.

 

 

On top of that, does she need a key chain? Does she use one? Does she already have 72 key chains that are special to her? Don't waste the money on something she may care less about.

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I think it's too soon for that kind of thing. I'd save that for when the relationship is established and a gift is warranted -- birthday, show of affection when going through a difficult time, etc.

 

IMO, a gift this early comes across as kinda "buying" me. It's a sweet thought, but . . .

 

Some people are averse to receiving gifts, it makes them uncomfortable. So, I wait until you know her a little better.

 

And, I agree, the key chain might have some "implications", like "here's a key ring so you can put the key to my apartment on it" :)

 

A single flower might be better, if you really want to give something. On top of all this, why would you give her something on a movie night? If you want to give her something, make it over a romantic dinner or day out or something like that. Movies are casual. Gifting would be more of a "formal" thing.

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