Jump to content

Need Some Support Cohabited Too Soon


PrincessWarrior1

Recommended Posts

PrincessWarrior1

Recently had an awesome twist of fate and couldn't b happier, however, me being bipolar. I'd prefer to be dead asleep right now instead of going over things obsessively.

 

I've been in a few long-term abusive relationships, and recently just escaped a 3.17 yr toxic attachment w a narcissist.

 

Low and behold this tall sexy guy from my small hometown found me on Facebook. He doesn't drink anymore or act like a maniac. We've been dating over a week and it's the healthiest most loving and fun relationship ever. He loves me so much and I love him too. We're perfect for each other. We made love allday and had fun at his house. I met his son. He dropped me off as i also have a son and to catch up on his sleep my poor baby works so hard and in pain, he's 47 and I'll b 43 in July. I wanted to go public but I'm afraid of Facebook as everyone knows it can be trouble. Also I hope it's not just bc its new. And I just want to relax and be thankful. Get some sleep etc. Its so unnatural to be separated from your new "husband" after making love like we did, I really miss him. But the bright side is that it can stay exciting longer idk I'm outta my mind right now.

 

Thank u for listening LS family. I don't think we should publicize it on Facebook, but the teenager in me wants to take cute pics together and do it. What do y'all think?

Link to post
Share on other sites
BrutalHonesty1980

What?!?! "He doesn't drink anymore or act like a maniac." How do you know he use to do this? How do you know he no longer does?

A week and you love each other so much? Loving and healthy relationship after a week?

 

You are in like with this new guy and its all about this "new car smell". Take a few steps back, slow down and don't rush it! What will be, will be.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
Recently had an awesome twist of fate and couldn't b happier, however, me being bipolar. I'd prefer to be dead asleep right now instead of going over things obsessively.

 

I've been in a few long-term abusive relationships, and recently just escaped a 3.17 yr toxic attachment w a narcissist.

 

Low and behold this tall sexy guy from my small hometown found me on Facebook. He doesn't drink anymore or act like a maniac. We've been dating over a week and it's the healthiest most loving and fun relationship ever. He loves me so much and I love him too. We're perfect for each other. We made love allday and had fun at his house. I met his son. He dropped me off as i also have a son and to catch up on his sleep my poor baby works so hard and in pain, he's 47 and I'll b 43 in July. I wanted to go public but I'm afraid of Facebook as everyone knows it can be trouble. Also I hope it's not just bc its new. And I just want to relax and be thankful. Get some sleep etc. Its so unnatural to be separated from your new "husband" after making love like we did, I really miss him. But the bright side is that it can stay exciting longer idk I'm outta my mind right now.

 

Thank u for listening LS family. I don't think we should publicize it on Facebook, but the teenager in me wants to take cute pics together and do it. What do y'all think?

 

Dating over a week. And he is your new ' husband'.

 

What am I missing ?

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok slow this down... You aren't a teenager anymore... Don't go public on Facebook unless this lasts months not a week.

 

That he used to be an alcoholic maniac should make you want to take things slower, see where he is really at...

 

This sounds like a train wreck in the making

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

You are not a teenage girl anymore, you are a grown up woman of 43 and a mother. Your behavior is not only over-the-top but dangerous to you and to your child. You've lost all contact with reality here it's time to call your therapist.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PrincessWarrior1

 

Dating over a week. And he is your new ' husband'.

 

What am I missing ?

 

I am so sorry about last night's post. I really need to vent and I just didn't want it to be a wall of text.

 

We know each other from our childhood and we've both had crushes on each other. I cried and asked him why he didn't pursue me when we were kids and his reply was "I would have ruined it."

 

Does that help a bit more?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PrincessWarrior1
Ok slow this down... You aren't a teenager anymore... Don't go public on Facebook unless this lasts months not a week.

 

That he used to be an alcoholic maniac should make you want to take things slower, see where he is really at...

 

This sounds like a train wreck in the making

 

Sorry for not explaining it in detail just didn't want you guys to have to read a wall of text. We both love the Lord and respect life, love, and marriage.

 

He turned to God 5 years ago and turned his whole life around. He's been alone all this time and wanted a christian girlfriend so he refused to date just anyone but he was ready. And I was honest and upfront about where I am/was. We need each other no matter what. He is not a stranger we both grew up in a very small town where everyone knew everyone.

Link to post
Share on other sites

 

I've been in a few long-term abusive relationships, and recently just escaped a 3.17 yr toxic attachment w a narcissist.

 

Dating a week and you already believe this is the most healthiest and loving relationship? :eek:

 

This is what happens when you've had a history of toxic relationships. You rush through, magnify the relationship, idealize your partner, future fake -- without even investing in the person/relationship long enough to make such a statement. This has likely been your pattern in past relationships.

 

I don't think you've done any sort of self-reflection or healing by working through why you've been where you've been and why you've always attracted abusers. Few abusive LTRs and recently escaping a narcissist -- the last thing you should do is glorify a 1 week meeting and involve your son in what sounds like an unhealthy perspective.

Link to post
Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease

You got legally married already? Or are you posting "married" in the sense of becoming one physically?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Link to post
Share on other sites
Recently had an awesome twist of fate and couldn't b happier, however, me being bipolar. I'd prefer to be dead asleep right now instead of going over things obsessively.

 

I've been in a few long-term abusive relationships, and recently just escaped a 3.17 yr toxic attachment w a narcissist.

 

Low and behold this tall sexy guy from my small hometown found me on Facebook. He doesn't drink anymore or act like a maniac. We've been dating over a week and it's the healthiest most loving and fun relationship ever. He loves me so much and I love him too. We're perfect for each other. We made love allday and had fun at his house. I met his son. He dropped me off as i also have a son and to catch up on his sleep my poor baby works so hard and in pain, he's 47 and I'll b 43 in July. I wanted to go public but I'm afraid of Facebook as everyone knows it can be trouble. Also I hope it's not just bc its new. And I just want to relax and be thankful. Get some sleep etc. Its so unnatural to be separated from your new "husband" after making love like we did, I really miss him. But the bright side is that it can stay exciting longer idk I'm outta my mind right now.

 

Thank u for listening LS family. I don't think we should publicize it on Facebook, but the teenager in me wants to take cute pics together and do it. What do y'all think?

 

oh boy where to begin.

 

First of all, loving someone after a week is the polar opposite of a healthy relationship. It is a huge red flag and a sign of personality or mental health disorder. Not sure if you guys fall into that category, but those are the norm.

 

Second of all, you should not introduce your kids to your bf so quickly. I do not have kids so I won't say that much on this, but this is way TOO MUCH TOO SOON.

 

If posting this on Facebook ruins your relationship than it isn't much of a relationship.

 

Which it isn't, since you have been dating him a little over a week.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

To get back on track here....There is no rule out there that you have to post anything about your personal life on FB. Hey we get overly excited about someone new, etc. Just don't let it go to your head, because these kind of things fizzle out just as quickly as they start.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PrincessWarrior1
To get back on track here....There is no rule out there that you have to post anything about your personal life on FB. Hey we get overly excited about someone new, etc. Just don't let it go to your head, because these kind of things fizzle out just as quickly as they start.

 

My boyfriend already did so but yeah I'm going to take it easy, thank you! I appreciate everyone taking the time the post and everything. It's always the chance u take when u put your life on the internet.

 

Oh and I love ur screen name smackie9, it's perfect, lol :lmao:

Link to post
Share on other sites

So your bf is telling everyone around that you are guys are together. I guess, slow down a bit. If he can't , at least you do! While it's great you both fit together but issues can arise. And if you start telling people so early on , then how are you going to deal in case you guys have a quick fall out?

 

You knew him before. He could be different now. People change.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
PrincessWarrior1
So your bf is telling everyone around that you are guys are together. I guess, slow down a bit. If he can't , at least you do! While it's great you both fit together but issues can arise. And if you start telling people so early on , then how are you going to deal in case you guys have a quick fall out?

 

You knew him before. He could be different now. People change.

 

Thank you mikeylo,

 

He is different but in a good way. He is so perfect for me, I can't even tell you and we are happy. It feels so good to be loved, adored, cared about, understood, and taken care of. We're at the same place in life and it just fits.

 

Issues always arise and I had to learn. For instance, he was not feeling well yesterday, tired from work and a sinus infection. He went home and crashed. Plus I keep him up too late when he picks me up from work. I'm so used to him running to the phone for my calls, so when he missed a couple of calls I went crazy a little bit and went out drinking. It was fun but I can't react that way as I have to be careful with my health, etc. He ended up calling and apologizing and then again this morning but relationships are hard for me anyway with my bipolar depression. It's nice that he understands that and also the abuse from my childhood.

 

It's just so much different when both people love the Lord and respect others. Issues are dealt with differently.

 

Thank u for taking the time to read and being there for me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
Jump Through Loops

That's lovely news. :)

It's good to hear you're using the hearts I gave you. Remember; They're fragile hearts that can only be found at the centre of a very special fairy ring here in the New Forest. Be careful how you use them. Don't rush into things, just take your time. x :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...
  • Author
PrincessWarrior1

It's been moving fast for me. He is already in the "comfort zone" and I have my doubts. I have had many failed relationships for two reasons. 1. I have manic depression 2. I gravitate towards drug addicts/abusers.

 

I haven't had much of my own space and have been neglecting "self care" such as working out and being home alone. Things have been going really well for the most part. But as you know, certain things start to rear their ugly heads as no on is perfect. Every one has faults.

 

I'm doing the best I can, today he was being really selfish and left mad and said things that I didn't like. Me being the caring person that I am, reached for him and spent some well needed girl time w my friend upstairs who just escaped a five year toxic relationship.

 

He's trying really hard and does really love and care about me. I don't want to ruin this relationship. He's not a stranger, we've known each other since we were kids from the same small town and I love him more than anything!

 

I guess another kind of romantic spin is (not to sound like an 80s movie but I have always grown up poor and he always had money. So our definition of what home/comfort is, is quite different.

 

Anyway. I would never put my relationship problems on FB and I think people who do, are very foolish.

 

I apologize in advance for this vent and if anyone has any understanding or insight and would like to comment, I thank you in advance!

 

Soldier on love warriors! :love:

Link to post
Share on other sites
It's been moving fast for me. He is already in the "comfort zone" and I have my doubts. I have had many failed relationships for two reasons. 1. I have manic depression 2. I gravitate towards drug addicts/abusers.

 

I haven't had much of my own space and have been neglecting "self care" such as working out and being home alone. Things have been going really well for the most part. But as you know, certain things start to rear their ugly heads as no on is perfect. Every one has faults.

 

I'm doing the best I can, today he was being really selfish and left mad and said things that I didn't like. Me being the caring person that I am, reached for him and spent some well needed girl time w my friend upstairs who just escaped a five year toxic relationship.

 

He's trying really hard and does really love and care about me. I don't want to ruin this relationship. He's not a stranger, we've known each other since we were kids from the same small town and I love him more than anything!

 

I guess another kind of romantic spin is (not to sound like an 80s movie but I have always grown up poor and he always had money. So our definition of what home/comfort is, is quite different.

 

Anyway. I would never put my relationship problems on FB and I think people who do, are very foolish.

 

I apologize in advance for this vent and if anyone has any understanding or insight and would like to comment, I thank you in advance!

 

Soldier on love warriors! :love:

 

Sounds like you are insecure, but if you felt that he was being selfish, then you need to stand your ground.

 

He should look for you.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you're having doubts about your relationship i just want to ask are you getting professional help for your manic depression or taking meds?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

My response to you is going to be very disjointed because you've touched on so many things but not told us much about what's really going on.

 

Yes, we all have faults. But some people have FAULTS and are to be avoided at all costs. For example, the abusers you've dated in the past have FAULTS. Just how faulty is this new guy?

 

How was he being selfish and what did he say to you when he was leaving?

 

He's "trying hard"? I'm not sure what you're getting at, but I'm assuming the full sentence is "trying hard, but not succeeding". Would this be right?

 

How have your different financial backgrounds created problems for you?

 

Why do you want "hopeless romantics?" to advise you? Do you categorise yourself this way? Would you prefer to be a bit more logical when figuring out relationship issues?

 

Lastly, are you seeing a psychiatrist and doing therapy? What has your therapist uncovered about your history of making bad choices in men?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

 

I haven't had much of my own space and have been neglecting "self care" such as working out and being home alone.

 

This isn't good. Everyone needs their ME time.

 

There are things I like to do on my own or with friends. If a woman in my life doesn't get that, I move on

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

You gotta get your head out of the romantic cloud. I read undertones of you preferring to be in a bad relationship then be alone because you can't handle the solitude.

 

 

Second he was selfish & mad so he left but then you went chasing after him. Yikes. No wonder he's "comfortable" in the relationship. Even when he's in the wrong you immediately jump to forgive him & fix things. What possessed you to chase him after he was selfish & mean to you? Explain to me how after that behavior you can characterize him as "trying hard" in the relationship? You are kidding yourself. You are letting him get away will all sorts of garbage because you have known him your whole life.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It could be because you guys are going fast. Take it slow. Slow has many advantages. Feelings get deeper, more real, stronger , you learn about each other , etc etc. It makes for a solid foundation that can withstand rough times.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
You gotta get your head out of the romantic cloud. I read undertones of you preferring to be in a bad relationship then be alone because you can't handle the solitude.

 

I have had many failed relationships for two reasons. 1. I have manic depression 2. I gravitate towards drug addicts/abusers.

 

Don’t settle, never settle and I know easier said than done. Get professional help and frankly don’t get into another relationship until you do.

 

This is why at least with OLD If I see a profile headline “hopeless romantic” or that phrase in the profile anywhere I avoid because this person is “in love with love” and lacks the capacity for “real” reciprocal (I mean balanced love)

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...