A romantic date or a networking date?

[happygurl]

Hi, I was completely taken by surprise when someone I met recently at an out of town business event and thought was later calling me to talk about business (which he did, but may have been an excuse because the better part of the conversation later got personal) asked me to coffee or to grab a bite next time he's in town...He mentioned he'll be in town in a month. We didn't set a date or time, nor did he ask for my personal phone number. In the heat of the moment, I forget how we left the conversation, but would expect for him to want to get in touch to firm up plans if he was interested. I like him, but it's been more than three weeks since we talked and it's been crickets from both of our ends. He comes to town next week. What's a girl to do if she (1) doesn't know if he'll even reach out, (2) wants it to be a date but has no idea if that's how he meant it, (3) doesn't know if he's single, (4) accidentally set up herself to be an option because no specifics have been firmed up? Thanks!!

Edited April 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
duplicate threads merged ~6

[Popsicle]

Do nothing? Just go about your life and don't worry about it.

[preraph]

If he was pursuing you personally, it wouldn't have been crickets during this time. He's probably just networking. Usually if someone has a romantic interest in you, it's pretty obvious and not much guessing involved.

[happygurl]

He was flirty on the call actually, but because I was surprised by that, I think I may have thwarted his advances by playing it professional and cool. My biggest concern, honestly, is that he is from out of state and may be taken.

 

In any case, we did talk about some things which would be fun to follow-up with him on, but would it be weird or not the best idea for me to do that if he never contacts me again? He visits my state monthly and I actually will be visiting his in two months. But I hate the idea of him throwing out the idea to get together next week and potentially never following up, and me looking like a fool getting back in touch.

Edited April 20, 2017 by happygurl

[smackie9]

Just hoping for a hookup my dear....just a hook up when he comes to town.....nothing about romance.

[devilish innocent]

I'm going to differ from the other responses you've gotten. What have you got to lose by sending him a message him asking how it's going? I mean don't go out of your way for him. But I don't think you'll look like a fool for reaching out, and there's always the possibility that it will lead to either a business or personal opportunity.

[happygurl]

Thanks again to everyone who responded!

 

devilish innocent was closer on the money. It turns out I was reading too much into it because I find him attractive and was secretly hoping him contacting me was romantically charged (not the fooling around kind of way, the 'we really hit it off and I want to get to know you better way'). He ended up contacting me via email and it was 100% business-angle though he did send me something that made him think of me - again, I think this was more along the lines of 'networking' even though it was related to something personal we had talked about). The 'let's grab coffee or a bite' was suddenly 'I'll let you know if I stop by your office to see so-and-so and can say hello' (as he will be working with someone else and not me directly). I, of course, said I would love to say hello or to grab that cup of coffee next time he's in town - there was response to everything else in my email, but that, ha. We live we learn!

[MountainGirl111]

It's hard to say what his intentions truly were/are unless you hear it coming directly from him. Some people will be interested in you and having a professional way to network with you could be a way to open a door for more...see what transpires...kind of thing. More will be revealed if there is indeed more to be revealed.

[act00]

My goodness, you just never know. I would think if he's a good networking contact, it's worth reaching out regarding that meeting over coffee, and maybe there is something there romantically that could blossom. Work is a good enough reason to reach out. The thing is, he lives far away and he's a coworker and professional contact, so it might not be best to get involved with him romantically. Have yourself a secret crush and maintain a professional relationship.