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Where to meet new friends and meet men?


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I've been single for exactly 1 year and I would like to get out there dating again, but I find it very hard. I'm not an introvert per se, but I do work a lot (60+ hours/week) and often travel internationally for the job (about 20% time), so it makes maintaining friendships difficult. Also most of the people in my small circle of friends are in happy relationships, and they also work a lot, so they don't exactly have time to accommodate my schedule either. We do keep in touch online (such as text messages and facebook comments), but sometimes I feel like I REALLY need in-person HUMAN connections.... :(

 

At the moment, I find myself quite isolated. For example, I want to go running and I cant find a single soul who wants to go with me. I want to go out to the club, I also cannot find a single soul who wants to go with me.. Right now I'm doing most things on my own, and it gets lonely at times.

 

Another thing is that I also want to meet men, but I'm not entirely sure where or how, since I can't seem to even make new FRIENDS in general. Typically, i imagine one would rely on one's friends' networks, go out with them and hope to meet some other friends that they bring along? But when none of my friends are interested in going out, it gets difficult.

 

I've tried going to a few sport classes. For example, earlier I joined a pole dancing class, but everyone there was much younger and much thinner and much more skillful, so I didn't really feel connected with anyone there. I also tried going to cafes during the weekend to either do some minor work or leisure reading, basically just to get myself out there, but I didn't really meet anyone yet. lol. I don't know, how do i meet PEOPLE, both men and women? I feel a bit lost.

 

I guess partially i'm also not very confident in my appearance. I am old (30 years old), short, and a bit chubby (you know, 160 cm and 58 kg). I live in an Asian country where English speaking is limited. Also, everyone is very thin and that's the beauty standard (there's no such thing as diversity here!), so I feel a bit intimidated... My ex boyfriend now is dating a girl who is MUCH younger than me (even tho he is already 7 years older than me), so that was also a big hit for my confidence. ARG!!!

 

I've tried online dating for a bit, but only found disappointments. Recently after a month of talking online, I met in person with a guy on one of the dating sites. He turned out to be THE rudest guy I've ever been on a date with... So i sort of lost faith in humanity somehow...

 

Arg, i just want to get these off my chest. Any suggestions would help i guess. Thanks in advance.

Edited by pc31
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todreaminblue

im getting a car soon ill be mobile.....hav eto learn to drive first adn get my drivers license but i meet people especially men doing the things i love to do like be outdoors in beautiful places ...near the water...fishing .....anywhere i feel free......and i sketch i write adn mostly men approach me.....i do my own thing..i have fun ..men get curious..because i guess i look happy ...i smile alot......i dont have a problem with men approaching me.....met some really nice men that way.....truth i sim not really activel ylookign for a man on the hunt....

 

 

 

im just doing my thing and enjoying it.....i normally find like minded men...ill approach fishermen because i love fish.....ill approach divers because i used to dive...snorkel......and i know when i get my car the weight i am carrying..... is goign to fall off me...because ill be free and ill be happy gods green earth nothing more beautiful.....adn ill be in it often walkign on beaches collectign sheells painting pictures with words.............and again...i dont have trouble attracting men...its the right man i want..not just any......i love agriculture...so i have conversations skills when it comes to tides ....fishing .....lay fo the land...best spots ...best times...weather......i love storms.....i always find something to talk about....and i have a sense of humor...so ....i would say to you....to feel comfortable develop what you love.... do it and just enjoy...feel free ....adn beautiful...... and dont look for men let them come to you.....approach sure be friendly definite....open warm smiles......and leave a littl emystery dotn overstay your welcome leave them to what they do and do your thing.....for that swhy you are there...to do what you love...not to find love...........they will be interested...and the games can be left behind....good luck ...deb

Edited by todreaminblue
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The country makes it hard for me to give you advice. I was going to suggest you get involved with a business group (like a chamber of commerce) or an industry group (Women of whatever it is that you) and volunteer somewhere doing something you care about but do they even have those where you are?

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I get the same feeling! 27 female, travels a lot.

Hey, which asian country are you at?

 

I live in Vietnam. How about you?

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The country makes it hard for me to give you advice. I was going to suggest you get involved with a business group (like a chamber of commerce) or an industry group (Women of whatever it is that you) and volunteer somewhere doing something you care about but do they even have those where you are?

 

I don't see the point of being in a Women group of whatever lol i mean, i want to meet men, right? lol lol lol.

 

Those business groups are widely available here, but i'm not sure what they do lol membership fees are expensive, and i have a feeling that everyone there is a bit stuck up and super into networking, which i am not. I am interested in meaningful friendship. I don't need more business connections, i have A LOT through my work already. But basically being a professional, i don't hang out with clients and business partners, ever.

 

i'm actively volunteering at an organizing that i like. but 80% people there are female and 20% are married men who are 20+ years my senior. So... nvm, maybe I just have an old soul :(

 

I don't know arg somehow very difficult to make friends :(

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