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Is there a reason he keeps viewing my profile?


IManifestLove

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IManifestLove

There's this guy (not in a official relationship with him) and we keep things casual. We both have a dating profile up on the same site and everything. I love him but I can understand why we are not together. Tonight we looked at each other's profile and I asked him "Why did you look at my profile?" one thing lead to another and we met up. I said "Of all the people on that site, why don't you find someone else on there?" and he says, "Funny, I wanted to know the same for you!". Everytime I am around this man my mind is screaming that he's the one. I talk to other guys and everything and even if they are attractive I would never sleep with them. I literally do not want anything to do with another man, but I cannot have him fully. Are some people just meant to be together or what?

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Sorry to ask but why aren't you together? seems like i'm missing something here!

 

I said "Of all the people on that site, why don't you find someone else on there?" and he says, "Funny, I wanted to know the same for you!

 

I seriously don't know why both of you are asking this question on a date!

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ReformedPUA
because he wants to establish himself in his career and he's still in school and working

 

That sounds to me like "I'm just not that into you" (sorry).

 

I am getting that you want to feel that you are living this great love story. Thing is though, I know plenty of guys who "wants to establish himself in his career and he's still in school and working". Hell I was one of those guys!

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because he wants to establish himself in his career and he's still in school and working

 

I see now, still he's on a dating site if i had to guess i'd say he's just not that into you and it has nothing to do with his career, then again this just my personal assumption.

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ReformedPUA
That sounds to me like "I'm just not that into you" (sorry).

 

I am getting that you want to feel that you are living this great love story. Thing is though, I know plenty of guys* who "wants to establish himself in his career and he's still in school and working". Hell I was one of those guys!

 

*plenty of guys who committed to someone is what I meant to write. (Please excuse the typo) If a guy really is into a girl he just won't let her get away!

 

ETA: To answer your question, not really I'm sad to say. You'd do yourself better though, to look at reality and disabuse yourself of the notion that you are both really in love and it's these huge obstacles that's what is keeping you apart. That's just not the case!

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IManifestLove

Normally I am a really chill and relaxed person, but as soon as I get around him I'm hyper, loud, and super happy. This may be due to nervousness or something, I don't know but after I encountered him tonight I'm like "Why in the hell do I act like that?", and I just want to let him see the real me and not the super goofy person I always turn into. I just want him to see the real me but he's like really stimulating for some reason and I am creating a bad impression. I just get so damn annoying for even me and I just want to be calm, cool, civilized, and chill (the way I am in a normal setting). How can I bring the real me out and chill?

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IManifestLove

The thing is when I try to get away from him, he makes fake profiles and talks to me on there and has made multiple ones at once...so its like if i even try to move on to talk to others, he's right there! and as soon as I long into my account all the time his regular profile photo is right in plain view and it's just hard...

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The thing is when I try to get away from him, he makes fake profiles and talks to me on there and has made multiple ones at once...so its like if i even try to move on to talk to others, he's right there! and as soon as I long into my account all the time his regular profile photo is right in plain view and it's just hard...

 

WTF! RUN and never meet with him again!!! what creepy dude. Change the website too, you need to get away from this guy!

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The thing is when I try to get away from him, he makes fake profiles and talks to me on there and has made multiple ones at once...so its like if i even try to move on to talk to others, he's right there! and as soon as I long into my account all the time his regular profile photo is right in plain view and it's just hard...

 

Fake profiles? What's the need of all that? This sounds like someone that is obsessed with you. Not healthy at all.

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The thing is when I try to get away from him, he makes fake profiles and talks to me on there and has made multiple ones at once...so its like if i even try to move on to talk to others, he's right there! and as soon as I long into my account all the time his regular profile photo is right in plain view and it's just hard...

 

He's content with the way things are with you and doesn't have anyone yet that he's more interested in and so why give up something that works for him in the mean time. He doesn't want anything serious, you do, but you're tolerating this back and forth thing. Either you stop responding and tell him you're moving on or you keep yourself in limbo until he finally moves on himself.

 

This is not about two people loving each other, it's about just having something until someone better comes along . . .

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The thing is when I try to get away from him, he makes fake profiles and talks to me on there and has made multiple ones at once...so its like if i even try to move on to talk to others, he's right there! and as soon as I long into my account all the time his regular profile photo is right in plain view and it's just hard...

 

This is creepy. I would never want to date someone who plays these games - tells you he can't date you because he wants to focus on his career and then creates fake dating profiles to mess you up... What the heck is that? Weird. Creepy.

 

Go find someone who will treat you better than this. My goodness.

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hippychick3

What a strange guy. Normal people don't do this. He obviously has time and desire to date someone or he would not be on a dating site. If he were interested in you, he'd ask you out like a normal person and date you like a normal person.

 

Keep your dignity and stop obsessing over a guy who is not into you.

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Maybe he likes that about you. But it's anxiety. It's within your power to stop acting the way you feel driven to act. It's called behavior modification. You can decide to just stop acting impulsively on your anxiety.

 

I had that some too. Here's my most embarrassing moment. I had a summer boyfriend after high school graduation. He was nice. We mostly hung out in pastures and parking spots, that type thing. Not having sex. So we were on the way to the lake and he stopped at a convenience store, got out, and on his way inside the door, yelled back at me "What do you want to drink?" and my anxiety got the better of me and I blurted out "I love Gary," when what I was trying to say was "I love Coke." From then on I couldn't be with him. I was too embarrassed, although he didn't make anything of it. I feel terrible to this day that I ghosted on him after that date due to me embarrassing myself. Just terrible.

 

You have to make yourself be cool, Hon. Nobody else can do it for you. I became very cool after that.

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Back away from him and change dating sites. There are plenty out there. Shut this one down for a while or see if you can just block him. You have control if you want it. I was going to say to tell him that you are not looking for something casual to see if he would commit, but after you saying he makes fake profiles just to stalk you, I would say that you need to tell him that you are no longer interested in dating him and not give him an opening. He could easily be with just you if he wanted to. His reasons are poor excuses. He's just not into you the same way you are with him.

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He knows you are way into him and it's not mutual.

The fake profiles thing sounds creepy and controlling - he is trying to prevent you from being with anyone else.

He doesn't want you, but he doesn't want you to be with anyone else either, because he'd lose the ego-stroking and/or sex.

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Try doing some breathing exercises before you know you are going to see him or after he shows up, duck into the lavatory to do them. Make a point to silently count to 10 in your head before speaking to him.

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Your behavior doesn't sound like a bad thing to me. Just sounds to me like you like him. If he's the right one he won't judge you for being goofy if you ask me. Being goofy is kind of necessary for every day life. Who wants to be all serious all the time? I sure as hell don't. Being goofy builds character. You know him better than me maybe he likes a girl who is more calm and collected like you usually are? Either way just be yourself. Be how you feel at the time. I wouldn't wanna be with someone when I had to constantly watch how I'm behaving...

 

If you really feel the way you're acting is a bad thing, then eith time you'll stop it sounds to me like you're still in the beginning stages of getting to know this guy. Once you get to know him better you'll start to calm down and won't feel as nervous around him.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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IManifestLove

I really liked him and he seemed to like me, but I was always available to him and I shouldn't have been. I treated him with a lot of respect and it got to 8 months before he admitted he didn't want to commit. He has all these gross women throwing themselves at him and I was just like "Cool, if that's what he wants I'm not going to stick around to see it all though". I went from always being there to not contacting him.

 

He had me blocked on FB because he only wanted to talk on POF, and I wasn't having it so I blocked him on POF. Come to find out after a while he unblocked me on FB and started lurking on my POF to get my attention.

 

I've done this thing before of not contacting him, and it's only been a week so he's probably thinking I will come around. My goal isn't to get him to want to be with me, I just figured I might as well mess with him the way he has with me. Call me childish, idc but at this point I'm not concerned with what's morally right, I just want to sort of set myself apart and get some of my pride out. Can you help a sister LOL?

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PegNosePete

After 8 months he told you he didn't want to commit. From that point on there was nothing you could do except eject.

 

All that blocking stuff is just childish and should have been a red flag right from the start.

 

Just block him EVERYWHERE and move on. He is quite clearly not into you, and you're wasting your time.

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Does showing a guy less attention over time really get his attention?

 

Depends upon his maturity level.

 

Do you really want someone who is so wishy-washy? Playing games is really a waste of your youth and energy. Being petty and vindictive attracts petty and vindictive men.

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IManifestLove
After 8 months he told you he didn't want to commit. From that point on there was nothing you could do except eject.

 

All that blocking stuff is just childish and should have been a red flag right from the start.

 

Just block him EVERYWHERE and move on. He is quite clearly not into you, and you're wasting your time.

 

I realize he doesn't want me, I was just wondering

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